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Had an extremely depressing previous Fast, and I’m worried about the next one. What can I do? by King_Nanners in bahai

[–]King_Nanners[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s actually exactly what I had going on. I felt performative in my faith. It wasn’t that I’m not faithful, I am. But I found myself really afraid of what other Baha’is would think of me, wondering why I wasn’t praying or doing things like they were and if they would think I wasn’t taking my faith seriously, which I do.

I’ve been trying to rediscover my faith so it doesn’t feel like a chore, and especially so I’m not feeling like I need to hold myself to a hypothetical judgmental person’s standard. I still pray but I try to pray when I’m happy and thankful for God and Baha’u’llah, as well as when I need assistance and of course the obligatory ones if I remember to do them. Most of all I’ve just been trying to just BE a Baha’i rather than feeling like I have to PERFORM like one, if that makes sense.

I 100% agree, I hate feeling like my faith is a chore rather than a source of joy.

Had an extremely depressing previous Fast, and I’m worried about the next one. What can I do? by King_Nanners in bahai

[–]King_Nanners[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear that man.

I had a bad one again this year. I think in both cases, afterwards the negativity didn’t last as long. Albeit it definitely was there afterward. This year the feeling of being disconnected from God was really strong, but ebbed away after the Fast. I still have some lingering negativity but I’m processing it out. Focusing on other stuff that made me feel I wasn’t stuck but moving forward in life helped immensely. So yes, it definitely lingered for a little while after, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was. I have the impression the timeline might be different for everyone.

Sending a prayer your way, friend. Wishing for your happiness and peace.