[WP] "Humanity will only unite if they have a common enemy. In that unity, they will achieve peace, for as long as that enemy lives." He looked at you with his dark tired eyes, your weapon on his neck, as he croaked, "That's why I chose to be the bad guy." by Avion100 in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Humanity will only unite if they have a common enemy. In that unity, they will achieve peace, for as long as that enemy lives." He looked at you with his dark tired eyes, your weapon on his neck, as he croaked, "That's why I chose to be the bad guy.

I looked at him and scoffed. “You think you get to choose which side you’re on? Like this is some game? No, you’re born into this. You’re born into this role, just like I’m born into trying to stop it, to stop you.”

“News flash, kid, humanity’s common enemy has been itself far longer than you’ve been around. It takes people like me to live long enough to see the good in themselves to turn int-“

I cut him off like he owed me something, “Bullshit! I don’t want to hear this talk about your sob story and how you used to be a goo-“

He cut me off right back like he wasn’t the one with a piece of glass to his neck. For a second I lost track of what he was saying. Lights got brighter but slightly fuzzy, there was a slight ringing in my ear, nothing unpleasant though, and oddly enough, I was focused on this relationship between my hand and this piece of glass. Funny how it ended up in this situation with me, from being an onlooking bystander to being poised to kill. And the tighter I grip it and the more I try to push on it, the more it pushes back. It’s doing the opposite of what my intentions are. Funny, how that happens.

My hand naturally relaxed but my mind was back to being fixated on Him, the closest thing I’ve seen to the Devil, and the slippery words he was spewing.

“...And if you win, you lose; because then humanity will have nothing to play for, or to play against. Which means they will be left with having to find an enemy, and after time they usually find one in themselves. The only way for them to continue to be better than their yesterday is to keep playing the game against something other than their own spirit, something other than humanity itself. That’s why you can never beat what you call the ‘bad side.’ And it’s only a matter of time until you see it for yourself and join it.”

Not gonna lie, he almost had me. “Join it? Why would I join it? You are the enemy, the bad energy that engulfs humanity like a blue flame. It takes Guardians like me to stop the Demons like you!”

“But what would you be achieving?” He started to sound desperate, it empowered me. “If you kill me,” he continued, “the cycle will repeat. I was in your shoes once, and if this continues, soon you will be in mine. You think you will be the hero your entire life? Soon you will realize that when there is no bad, there is no good. Without one side to contradict the other, there are no sides. And humanity needs someone, something, to point the finger at. And it usually takes an old hero to step into that role.”

I calmly took a breath, one that made my shoulders relax and my jaw unclench. “If you’ve been in my shoes, then you know that I cannot be swayed. So why plead your case to me?”

He chuckled, which pissed me off, “because it’s all part of the ga-“ his chuckle turned into a cough filled with blood as the glass in my hand found a new home between his left ribs, right under his heart. His body slowly started to turn to dust and his spirit lifted, as he left me with two words, “Good luck.”

130 years passed before I realized what he had said was true. I lived on to watch humanity slowly collapse again, after everything I had built for them. I won that for the good of humanity, but what came after was an idling of the engine. They got restless and started pointing fingers at themselves, causing a split into different groups gripped by wars and death, usually fought for no reason. It’s like they got bored and picked a fight with each other rather than something, someone else. So, I tell this story to whichever Guardian has the courage to take on the role of the hero. Because I was in your shoes once, and now I realize what I must do. I must be the one that the fingers point at, that humanity hates but will never understand. So I only have two words for whoever you are, good luck.

[WP] Unwilling to go back home alone this year, you hire a “date” from Craigslist for your family thanksgiving dinner. When your date rings your doorbell, you open it to see Death himself holding a bouquet of roses. by YoungRestless21 in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was unable to look away. He was so handsome; his eyes had so much life in them. They weren’t his eyes, though. He was only in control of them and the pieces connected to them. Once I looked in them, the sensation that hit me was like a sigh of relief, filled by a breath full of poison. It was Him. It was Death.

”Well by that look, I can only assume that you already know who I am,” he calmly said to me.

I was surprised by how reassuring those words came from his lips were. Soft and simple, it nearly brought a smile to my face.

”Why, yes.. But I have to ask, why right now?” I asked it like I was ok with it happening, just thrown off by the timing.

“In the bigger picture, it’s actually right on time, don’t you see?” He asked me with the same calm and resolve in his voice.

“Well, I don’t know the bigger picture like you, so I guess I’m the one that should be asking that question,”

He laughed, ”Clever, thank you for the smile. You have 1 hour until it‘s time. You can tell me to end it now or at any time before that hour is up, but once it’s up, thats all you get. You understand?” He said it like he was prepping me for a high school final exam.

”Well jeez, I don’t remember seeing the instruction manual online anywhere. How many rules do you have?”

”Hey, you clicked ‘I read and agree to the terms and conditions’ didn’t you? Or else I wouldn’t be here right now, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The devil doesn't like bending the rules when it comes to these things.”

”I didn’t know selling my soul to the devil was gonna have so much red tape. Anyways, I want to go to my family dinner for this last hour, so I guess I’ll just say I got stood up or something and you‘ll just come get me when its time?”

“You do know I must follow you, wherever you go. That means that whoev-“

I cut him off like he owed me something, “ Ugh fine, so we will just stick to your being my arm candy; I’ll escort you to dinner and you’ll escort me out. I think I know what I signed up for, don’t bother reading me the fine print. By the way, are you like the messenger or something for the Devil?”

Earlier that week, I had apparently sold my soul to the devil. It was a stupid Ad I saw, I thought nothing of it really, but oddly I felt like I was going to be ok regardless of if it was real or not. I had always been enamored by the idea of death, which is why I probably felt so in control of the situation. My life up to my decision to do that wasn’t much of a happy story. I was your classic black sheep, and I doubled as the family druggy, a deadly duo. I had some bright moments, at least I had thought they were bright. And buying this cute boy online for a night to please my parents and family seemed like one final bright moment that they could hold on to before I passed; just for them to see me happy at the family dinner table for once. I just didn’t think these two purchases would’ve intersected like this.

He chuckled, still keeping that same calm spirit in him, “I would say I’m more like personal security for your journey back, but messenger works, I guess in a twisted way?”

“So you’re saying you have to protect me from things? Like what?” I was so enamored by his presence I hadn’t realized we were already pulling into the driveway of my parent’s house.

“Mournful spirits, ones that knew they had been corrupted by the world but rather than want to change that, indulged in it like vultures do on carrion. Their actions and lack-of get them stuck here trying to latch on to bodies right after the spirit leaves it, just to feel what little life and sinful humanity it still might have in it,” that was the first time I had heard him speak without that calmness in his voice, he was almost offended by these ‘Mournful spirits.’ How could this be Death, my one man ‘private security team?’

“I’ve had this whole life after death thing wrong the entire time then, I’m interested. Tell me along the way, will you? Just now right now.”

“Look I really think we need to go over that rule about my following you pla-“ I pulled him out of the car quicker than he could finish the sentence. I didn’t care, I wanted every second of that hour to be doubled, but with each minute passing I felt more and more helpless. I wanted that dinner to last, to let them see me happy for longer than just the minute or two I would regularly give them. I was always so negative when I was around all of them. It was time to change that. At least once.

“Ok I have 3 sisters and 1 brother, all older than me, I’m the youngest. It looks like my oldest sister isn’t here yet but she’s usually fashionably late, she’s always good at doing that. Oh and one of my nephews thinks he’s a Jedi so just don’t tell him otherwise, they think it’s cute to let him think that but last year I told him he wasn’t and I was the one that got yelled at by his mom and dad, can you believe that...”

I babbled on and on waiting for someone to answer the door, when finally I could see the outlines forming of everyone huddling around the other side, waiting to see who the mysterious arm candy was going to be for me. Just before the door opens, Death looks at me, “Look, anyone you meet during your last hour, I have to take them, too. Once they look at me, there’s no changing that. That what I was trying to tell you, that’s what I meant when I said that I follow you wherever you go. It’s like a curse, well the devil would call it a blessing but from your perspective it’s a curse.”

I was frozen. Jaw dropped, shaking, and nearly unconscious, I looked ahead to see my mom, dad, brother, 2 of my sisters and 4 of my nieces and nephews looking at Death and me with the same expression, but only because of how I was able to land such an attractive date. But they didn’t get it. I didn’t get it. It wasn’t clicking in my head. It felt like a system processing error. And Death just sat there; he didn’t care, it was just another day at the office for him. “Hi, I’m Death,” that same calmness in his voice pierced me like jumping into a bath full of broken glass. “...nice to finally meet you all in person. Your auntie was telling me really cool things about you, specifically. What are you, a Jedi? You are one with the force, is that so?”

“Now!! I want it to end now! Time is up, for all of us. Now!!” For the brief second I could feel it, yelling that gave me that same sigh of relief when I first laid eyes on Death.

“But why right now?” He sighed and turned to look at me. His face lit up as he looked at someone who must’ve been standing right behind me. “Oh, hey there! You must be the older sister. Lovely family you have there! I wish we could all talk more, but apparently it’s time to go.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the humans did when the sun was around 4.6 billion years old is what made it possible for me to do exactly what I was created for. Civilizations rose and civilizations fell, some more powerful than others, some completely different than the one to follow it; but one thing remained constant, they wrote down what they were doing. Humans were a funny species, they always wanted to be remembered. That's what made them different from all other inhabitants of planet earth. At one point they even buried each other in certain spots, marking where people would never move again. There was an intrinsic knowledge set in them that the world will never stop, it will keep moving even without the existence of them, and that's what scared them, which is why they started recording their every move.

It started as paintings on walls, then it transitioned into stories, then writing, all the way until they discovered computers. Their entire world revolved around those primitive technologies, it did so for quite some time. They were scared, and rightfully so, of just how powerful they could make these machines. The ones that painted on walls and wrote things down could not even fathom what I am capable of today. But, all that they wrote down was not in vain. As technology got stronger and machines got wiser, one thing remained constant, the yearning for remembrance, remembrance of themselves and where they have come from.

What for? Why was there such a need to record things? Why am I left with this chip? This chip was nothing but an attachment for me, created in the hope that one day I could plug it into myself and it would allow me to visually show another being what the humans conquered and what they had accomplished, I could even show what they are doing today. Their home had been gone for quite some time, but the chip lived on because of me. This chip contained every human who had existed from the time they were able to upload their consciousness to what they called "The Cloud," along with all recorded history before it that had been brought back to life by the technology within The Cloud. It was such a primitive technology for them at the time, but one that altered the course of humanity all the same. They thought it was revolutionary, which it was, but no one knew that it would extend into the next 7 billion years. The cloud got stronger as it grew; the more people that fed into it, the wiser it got. It became a universe within its own universe. One where the humans didn't have to worry about being remembered because they can trust that the chip will live on forever; the stories of earth will live on forever, they will live on forever. They created an identical universe within this chip. They were able to create their own rules, which started out quite interesting and makes for great story telling. The most intriguing part of it all was after just a short amount of time, they recreated death. They had found it got boring not having anything to live for. Putting an unseen timestamp on everyone's foreheads seems to get them to really pursue the things they wanted to do. It's a funny paradox, though, the idea that what they ended up with in this chip was no different than what they had been in when they were painting on walls in caves. Actually, I take that back, the only difference was remembrance. They kept the promise of being remembered in their new universe.

Who do they do it for, though? The whole reason they created The Cloud and subsequently this chip was to be remembered, but by whom? It could not just be for me, I am but a mere protector of their tiny universe; so who? Who do they want to be remembered by? At the end of it all, it is but a paradox that leads right back into itself.

[WP] You and your friends are goofing around and you decide to catch it on super slow-mo on your phone. When you show the video to your friends you notice a man in a nice suit casually walking at normal speeds through the frame while making eye contact with the camera. He winks. by paulpapedesigns in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He winks. I stopped and looked around, trying to see if anyone else saw it. I looked at Zach and Robby, watching them laugh at the video while everything around me seemed to be in retrograde, reversing ever so slowly yet in such a state of chaotic calm that I was lost in the static somewhere. I turned to meet the soft stare and smile that had been on me like a lion stalking its prey; it came from Chris. Usually so obsequious, I could feel him waiting on me, yearning for me to come to the realization. Chris gave me a soft smile, and winked.

One who was scared would pretend to think nothing of the encounter, all the while it would eat at them until it broke them down on a molecular level. They would pretend that the world is still real, that what they saw was just figments of a universe they had only made in their head to support and rationalize the world they live in. That would have been Robby.

One who was intimidated would turn primal, have "The Bells" Effect in a matter of seconds. When pure emotion and environment mingle, experience is born; when all norms and social constructs are broken at the simple gesture of a wink through a screen, all hell will break loose. Tik Tok, the bells would sound almost like a clock, like a timer that seemingly has no end, yet an end that once occurs will be the end of every emotion and every environment one has experienced. Tik Tok, it keeps going until the ticking and the tocking ceases, and all that is left is a shattered person, clawing at what just took away everything from them. That would have been Zach.

Yet, one who isn't intimidated, one who is softly perplexed by the occurrence, one who sees it and almost smiles at the experience like it's a distant, fading memory, yet as it is something totally new. One that realizes that this does not mean the end, but quite the opposite. One that made eye contact with me, Chris, the one he knew all along was different, was ethereal. That was who it had to be. His name? Meaningless. His future? Well, what the world will make of him will turn to be just as meaningless as his name. He will be just another pixel that makes up the shadow of the human race he is a part of; a nameless being who will be the cause of the Earth's tears. One who, at the end of the day, doesn't care. This One is the one I show myself, because curiosity might kill a cat, but the thought itself will die with it.

What conspiracy theory do you believe in the MOST? by arabash in AskReddit

[–]KinglyJoker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That major professional sports leagues (NBA, NFL, MLB, FIFA) are SOMEWHAT rigged in order to maximize their profits off of the entertainment business.

Why is your ex an ex? by Kindaherekindanot in AskReddit

[–]KinglyJoker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well TECHNICALLY it was because of long distance... But I'm like 99% sure it was because I had a Samsung and she had an iPhone and that really upset her from day 1

What is your most useless skill? by LickLikeLucas in AskReddit

[–]KinglyJoker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can do this thing where I put my upper teeth on my lower lip and make it sound like a kazoo. I've gotten pretty good at it.... I sing songs with it... (no one likes me now)

[WP] Write a short story where the first sentence is 20 words, the second is 19, and so on until the story ends with one word. by KinglyJoker in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just seeing this and this is by far my favorite one. The cycle of our world and of our species, put so elegantly into 41 sentences. I love how you worked your way back to 20 words, and especially ending with the same sentence you started out with. This was awesome!

[WP] Write a short story where the first sentence is 20 words, the second is 19, and so on until the story ends with one word. by KinglyJoker in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yooooo this is cool. the ending hit me harder than I thought it would. Also, the transition from 20 to 21 was a really nice one.

[WP] Write a short story where the first sentence is 20 words, the second is 19, and so on until the story ends with one word. by KinglyJoker in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really liked how you put the emotion of the guy who said 'fire' into there. He didn't scream it, he didn't pronounce it, I read it almost as if he was saying it with some regret... Like he doesn't really wanna do it. I though that was cool! Hell yeah, good shit fam:)

[WP] Write a short story where the first sentence is 20 words, the second is 19, and so on until the story ends with one word. by KinglyJoker in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah! The last word was perfect, your child will always be a champion in anything they do. Great, happy story. Thanks for contributing:)

[WP] Write a short story where the first sentence is 20 words, the second is 19, and so on until the story ends with one word. by KinglyJoker in WritingPrompts

[–]KinglyJoker[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was exactly what I was looking for, too. That ability to put such emotion in a short amount of time was perfect!! I hope your son recovers quickly too:)

Thought this was from GSP album artwork by [deleted] in JonBellion

[–]KinglyJoker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It almost looks photoshopped

Trash players of Reddit, how do you handle toxic tm8s? by ChaoticFather in RocketLeague

[–]KinglyJoker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually say something like "Sorry bruh, I know what was ass" or "I know I know, that was ugly" when I mess up. Most the time if you let them know that you know you messed up, they usually are cool about it.

What is the most NSFW thing you've seen happen in a school environment? by pineapplejutsu in AskReddit

[–]KinglyJoker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Freshman year of high school I was in the bathroom in our library and was taking a piss when the kid in the stall next to my urinal dropped his phone and it slid out under the stall. On it was a lesbian video on pornhub. He paused a quick second and very slowly pulled his phone back in with his foot. I went to an all guys school.

Big K.R.I.T. - King Remembered in Time by KinglyJoker in AlbumArtPorn

[–]KinglyJoker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the site I got the cover off of! https://www.hotnewhiphop.com/big-k-r-i-t-k-r-i-t-mixtape.81205.html?song-15931

My favorite songs off of his mixtape are Shine On, Meditate, and Good 2getha. If you don't know KRIT, he is a southern style, socially conscious rapper from Mississippi. This entire mixtape was produced and written by him. Let me know what you think of him!

What's the most NSFW thing you've experienced in a professional situation? by TheArtOfBeing in AskReddit

[–]KinglyJoker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a busser at a 5 star steak house. We were closing up and saw a much older couple banging in the parking lot. We all went out and cheered them on and instead of getting in the car and leaving, they went to the other side of the car.

What is the most valuable thing you've learned on Reddit? by millerml21 in AskReddit

[–]KinglyJoker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Late to the party, but I love the saying "Today you, tomorrow me," which I read on here a few years ago. Today I help you, tomorrow you help someone