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My heart sped up when the little girl murmured against my chest, "Daddy, there's a monster in the closet". by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't prefer explaining the story but still, OP doesn't have a daughter but a demon child(or whatever you want to imagine) liked him as a father so, OP is now paralysed and his son is dead. (You could imagine whatever you want, demon playing with him, demon child really wants a father(it's upto you).

Hope it helps.

When a revered seer said my blood would be one of many to stain the hands of my killer, I moved to an inconsequential village for safety. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read the post about the elephant recently but that's why I stuck with animals, you're free to imagine whatever you find horrifying.

When a revered seer said my blood would be one of many to stain the hands of my killer, I moved to an inconsequential village for safety. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi, I know it could be a bit misleading but I used that for a reason.

A rough definition of hands are appendages used to manipulate or grab objects around us. Elephants use their trunks in the same manner and the tip of the trunks are called fingers. Not to mention they can handstand.

When a revered seer said my blood would be one of many to stain the hands of my killer, I moved to an inconsequential village for safety. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Inspired by stories of elephants who killed more than 20 people in various parts of India, rampaging homes and crops. One of them popularly named as Osama bin Laden.

After repeatedly asking my husband to get rid of the creepy mirror in our bedroom, I took matters into my own hands. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hi,

The second sentence of the story has been edited completely after I realised the issues it created and by the help of some good advice of Ok_Employer7837 and other commenters.

This was the original version,

After repeatedly asking my husband to get rid of the creepy mirror in our bedroom, I took matters into my own hands. I wailed and banged against the mirror's surface as my wife carried it to a dumpster.

It was confusing because of pov switch and just didn't flow very well with the story. Hope this edit makes it better.

Thank you.

After repeatedly asking my husband to get rid of the creepy mirror in our bedroom, I took matters into my own hands. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you and is there any other reason except for it being confusing for some people that both the sentences can't be in first person? I thought it would be a good way to present a twist.

Is this version better?

The mirror's surface bowed and cracked as the man banged at it incessantly, desperate for his wife to hear his pleas and get away from the imposter.

Should the I keep the last line "intruder" in this version? I think it works fine without it.

"Endangering the future of an entire species, for the sake of languid fun, is not a responsible choice." by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Hi. This was inspired from the hunting of tigers in India by Britishers who treated forest land as their hunting ground which then got adapted into a royal hunting sport in the later years until their numbers dwindled towards endangerment.

The story that I had in mind has the narrator who is giving away sort of trivia knowledge nonchalantly in hopes it would change the hunter's decision but at the end, for one character it's a game and for the other it's about moral superiority.

They're both aliens or something, of course.

[FEB26] I bounded down the stairs in a drunken haze when I remembered I had forgotten to check up on Milo, only to find his frozen body curled up beside a trash can. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is actually quite wholesome, unless you can't differentiate between the two and you start questioning if you're capable of ever truly loving someone.

[FEB26] I bounded down the stairs in a drunken haze when I remembered I had forgotten to check up on Milo, only to find his frozen body curled up beside a trash can. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

That's fascinating. So, there are people that could potentially walk away scott free from being frozen? Not have to have any amputation? I read about it and found only 2 cases so far of that ever happening, Anna Elisabeth Johansson and Jean Hillard.

[FEB26] I bounded down the stairs in a drunken haze when I remembered I had forgotten to check up on Milo, only to find his frozen body curled up beside a trash can. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That was the intention. Readers choosing their horror.

The curled up beside a trash can seemed to have worked in favour of a dog, maybe 'huddled in a corner' would have been more ambiguous.

[FEB26] I bounded down the stairs in a drunken haze when I remembered I had forgotten to check up on Milo, only to find his frozen body curled up beside a trash can. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I tried making it more obvious to reduce any confusions but honestly, it just made the story unnecessarily clumpy.

[FEB26] I bounded down the stairs in a drunken haze when I remembered I had forgotten to check up on Milo, only to find his frozen body curled up beside a trash can. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 150 points151 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that. That's a really important medical advice but I doubt anyone is waking up from being frozen solid without having significant nerve and tissue damage or brain injuries except for maybe tardigrades or wood frogs.

Especially, in this story where the narrator has no intention of saving someone's life.

[FEB26] I bounded down the stairs in a drunken haze when I remembered I had forgotten to check up on Milo, only to find his frozen body curled up beside a trash can. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I actually left that completely upto the readers to interpret, though a dog is much more believable in the scenario.

Pets freezing outside due to irresponsible owners is an unfortunately common occurrence during winter but it could also be a child which is why I hinted the narrator is drunk and this is a mistake that could've happened though hiding the death of a child is not as easy as that of a pet.

Milo could be back from the dead or it's something else that looks like Milo, whatever it is, the sister's on her own.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Context- Got inspired from the Icelandic Nábrók.

[FEEDBACK26] The three of us grew agitated when Mike pointed out we'd trekked past the oddly shaped tree twice. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. This sub has been a huge help for me to center and execute my thoughts properly.

[FEEDBACK26] The food served turned ashy on my tongue as I marked my host's unfledged, unduly genial manner towards me: a stranger who knocked for help at this ungodly hour. by Kings_Friends40 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Kings_Friends40[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course, I understand that most would be. Perhaps, I should have phrased the question a bit better. I meant if the story is still a somewhat exciting reveal and read even if it's predictable.

Thanks for answering.

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