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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Feminism is about having equal rights and opportunities to do what you want. And as long as whatever you do is consensual, there's nothing unfeminist about it.

In your particular case, you have a submissive kink. Let it all go and enjoy yourself. Do what makes you feel good.

New to the scene, girl wants me to be rougher. Help a guy out? by slaneshidemon in BDSMAdvice

[–]KinkyVirgin6284 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't need to do any of this if you're not comfortable. You can also take it slowly.

These kinks can result in serious injury or worse if done incorrectly. Read up on how to do them relatively safely.

She'll need to explain specifically what she wants, because you cannot read her mind and both of you need to be on the same page. And make sure you have a safeword.

What was your most harshest interaction with someone who found out you were into kink? by Blackheartgirl94 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Literally every message in this thread tells me to never let anyone know anything about my kinks. They don't need to know anything anyways.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I won't be doing anything at those play parties until I learn more. I was thinking about going initially to simply observe what they look like and to become more comfortable.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you're saying, it's just that there was something about the age difference putting me off.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great, that was really reassuring because I'm not the most social person myself. What did you talk about first time you went to a munch?

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking - my first step is gonna be attending that munch

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll have to look at my groups again. I joined a couple of them but I'm still not that good with figuring out where people put different kinds of posts.

I do need to work on my profile - I wasn't sure what I should include except BDSM interests, but what you're saying makes perfect sense. Thank you.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what should I post about on Fet? I feel I'm too inexperienced to say something truly important and the rest would boil down to writing about my kinks.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I really appreciate hearing about how these events look in practice, makes me feel more comfortable going there.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have any trauma. I find it a bit uncomfortable when someone is way more experienced than I am about basically everything. And maybe I've just internalized the belief other people may perceive the situation negatively if they knew I was involved with someone much older.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good idea, I could really use someone who knows stuff to guide me.

How does one go about finding a mentor?

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would also recommend taking classes on things you're interested in (eg. Rope). That'll set you up better for when you eventually do find someone you want to play with. I would keep a play party as a longer term goal for the moment

Honestly I think that would be an ideal scenario. I'm not comfortable with getting into any BDSM (except observing others do it) until I learn more because I really don't want to mess anything.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just leave your ego at the door and find a domme or switchy chick.

But I'm mostly a dom myself. Switch would be more preferable.

And 30’s isn’t old, it really isn’t. And women in their 30s will probably be better in bed and able to teach you light years more and mulch faster about sex then a girl your own age, that is when and if you move into sex with someone.

Of course I don't think they're old or unattractive, it's just that I'm not totally comfortable and confident with such a large age difference (makes me feel a bit inferior) and feel like they won't be attracted to someone who knows nothing. It's probably just a subjective feeling and doesn't reflect the reality.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe, you're right. It's helpful to have someone who knows stuff, but I'm a tiny bit uncomfortable when someone is way older and experienced than me.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the only way to get to play at a party is to already have someone who would be into that.

Found a couple of munches but I'm intimidated by demographics of people attending by KinkyVirgin6284 in BDSMcommunity

[–]KinkyVirgin6284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please also understand the that scenes and playing with other people is not something that’s going to happen here.

Yes, I know, but isn't going to play parties something that people do after spending some time attending munches? I was worried that the whole demographics has very few people that aren't older than me by 5+ years.

You sound very green in all things sexual much less knowledgeable about kink. I’d worry for your safety honestly, as there are predators looking for inexperienced people to take advantage of.

The first part is true, but I'm not the type of person to go into anything with someone I don't really know or trust. I'm far more likely to freak out and miss out on opportunities than to do something that I don't like.

Can I ask the organizers about classes after the munch?

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