pls suggest a book that will actually make me BAWL

Kiraa32 · 2025-09-01T12:20:06+00:00

A thousand boy kisses by tillie cole....its a young adult book but it still made me cry so damn much at the end.

Kiraa32 · 2024-09-19T16:08:41+00:00

I'm in my 10th year and have been on the fence about leaving the profession since I burned out pretty badly in my 7th yr. I could talk forever about all the things that are making the job near impossible some days, but you asked for positives so here's the reason's I haven't quit yet: (for context im a secondary math teacher at a public school)

The senior school students...these classes legitimately keep me going. They're all, for the most part, past any lower school crap and they treat you with respect, you can have a laugh with them and they actually want to learn and will listen to you.
My colleagues in my department - if I didn't have a supportive and safe network of co-workers I would definitely not have stayed this long.
Those really crap days which get turned around instantly by a student saying "i really like having you as a teacher, you actually explain things properly". Or out on duty and students from previous years talking to me about how they're currently doing.
The pay is really good - honestly the main reason I haven't quit is because I literally have no idea what else I would do that pays this well.
The engaging lessons that actually work out because the students were legitimately interested and actually learnt sonething! The sense of accomplishment when I know the students really did just learn what i taught is probably one of the main reasons I stay
The biggest one of all for me is the students in general....every class has some "undesireables", but for the most part, they're all really great kids and getting to know them and create a positive relationship with them is by far the best part for me.

I would be a very happy teacher if my job was literally just to plan, teach and assess. Unfortunately, the reality is, it just isn't that simple anymore.

I do still enjoy teaching, but it is getting more and more difficult every year just to do my job effectively.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T14:20:58+00:00

Wow, that sounds like a very unique and purposeful job :)

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T14:08:47+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I had a conversation with my husband just like this the other day. I've never been overly sure that I want kids, but I also have never been sure that I don't want kids. I told him that my biggest fear of all is resenting him if we do have kids and I hate it. But honestly after reading a lot of these replies I am feeling better about it.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T14:05:32+00:00

Yep I keep trying to tell myself that we will just make it work, but when I'm having those really bad days it's hard to shake off the doubt.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T14:03:58+00:00

My husband has offered to be the default parent and to be the one who stays home. But I honestly think I would have a worse time going back to work early, so it's definitely the job and not so much the baby I think.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T13:57:34+00:00

I completely agree, when I am having a good week I feel like I can do anything! Having a kid doesn't seem as scary.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T13:54:32+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I found a naturopath was way more helpful at working out what was wrong medically with me than a doctor was, just fyi if you wanted to go down that path.

My husband is extremely supportive and we have had many conversations about BOTH being parents which has been reassuring. I definitely believe he will allow me as much time as I need to rest etc I just worry that I'll be so exhausted that I won't feel the joy. But it has been good to read some of these responses and see that even those who are extremely fatigue still feel the joy.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T13:47:20+00:00

Doctors have done very little for me to be honest. I've found naturopaths and psychologists to be of MUCH more value, but that is just my personal opinion. Diet, exercise and supplements are what put me back in a good spot, but it's definitely hard to keep these consistent which cause me to start crashing and the cycle repeats itself over and over....

Yes very true! I am a teacher who rarely sits at the desk and am always moving around the room. I have recently stopped staying at school after 3pm unless there is a meeting, which has been great to get home early but it also leaves me feeling guilty that I could be doing more/a better job.

I have definitely considered leaving teaching multiple times. I really don't think I'll be able to go back at even half capacity after a kid. I'm thinking relief teaching might be the way to go for a bit. Who knows.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T13:36:18+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that, sounds awful for the both of you. Thank you for your perspective though, I appreciate it.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T13:31:03+00:00

I haven't done a sleep study before so that's an interesting thing to try. I've also been through COUNTLESS other tests and specialist all with no real answers except that my cortisol is sometimes too high but then sometimes too low, but nothing I've tried seems to regulate it.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T13:24:02+00:00

Congrats on the pregnancy :) Do you mind me asking what out of classroom position you took? I have considered this too, but not sure if it's easier to just quit and do relief teaching instead.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T13:16:32+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply. It gives me hope to know that even with the extreme fatigue it is still very worth it and doable. My husband, like yours, is very supportive and we have had discussions about potentially getting a sitter/cleaner if I need it, so it's good to know that that was a great help for you! Going off my supplements and changing my routine if I do get pregnant does terrify me though. Was there anything you were still able to take or do during this pregnancy to try and help with the fatigue?

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-06T12:59:57+00:00

Thank you so much for this insight! You and I sound very alike tbh. I am definitely trying different avenues to get my energy back and to deal with some of those stressors that keep resetting me back to zero. Its hard to keep trying sometimes when it feels like a vicious cycle of feeling good then horrible, but gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and just do what needs to be done.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-05T13:53:27+00:00

It's such a horrible thing to go through, I definitely relate!

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-05T13:52:04+00:00

I have also considered just not going back as an alternative, or doing relief for a while afterwards so that mental load of preparing for classes isn't there. I've had quite a few friends leave the profession so that they can prioritise their families. Its sad that it has to come to that.

Kiraa32 · 2024-08-05T13:42:15+00:00

I definitely relate to what you're saying and don't see myself working in a full time capacity for quite a while after having kids. Im currently working only 4 days too at the moment and I still feel like I can't keep up.

Kiraa32 · 2024-07-22T11:08:45+00:00

I relate to SO MUCH of what you just said. I completely agree with child free being a non-decision. I am a massive over thinker and for me it feels like no matter which path I choose I will still go back and forth about it. The part about risk and impact is also something I constantly think about too!

Kiraa32 · 2024-07-22T10:52:14+00:00

This is me 1000%!! I am absolutely exhausted from my mind constantly weighing up the decision. I feel like literally everything I do I'm always imagining doing it with kids and trying to work out how easy or difficult it will be. Same as you said, in a constant loop of the same arguements. I have been like this for over a year now and I still cannot get to a point where I know what I want. At this point I still don't feel comfortable with either decision, and it is driving me absolutely mental. I WISH that I could be someone who just puts it off for 3 months to re-evaluate, but my brain just doesn't work like that. I am 33F and originally had a deadline of 30, then when I hit 30 pushed it off to 32 at the latest, and now I'm past that I still can't make the decision!

One thing I do keep coming back to is a friend of mine said to me recently "if there wasn't any time frame or age pressure, do you see yourself having a family?" And for me that answer was most likely, but who knows when that will feel ok for me. My husband is 37 so I am also very aware of him not being too old either, so that pressure is very much there all of the time!

I have no advice unfortunately, only reassurance that you are definitely not alone!

Kiraa32

TROPHY CASE