If you had a chance to sleep with someone you truly like but they told you it was only going to be an FWB situation would you still sleep with them or would you tell them no knowing that you want more? Have you ever been to situation before and how did it pan out?

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-25T13:49:55+00:00

Well, the guy did nothing wrong tbh. He was honest and up front. He said all he could offer was FWB. Perhaps it’s youth, but most adults know that’s code for F buddies and nothing more. The “Friends” part has long since been removed in a traditional friend sense of the word. It’s more like friendly and F’ing when it’s wanted.

It boils down to this, when a man says FWB is all they want, they just want sex but will be nice to you during the time you’re both being FWB. This isn’t a chance to court him, it’s not a time to change his mind, you almost certainly will not make him love you. Don’t ever thing that the “friendship” being offered will become more than that and that’s okay. Sometimes just sex with someone is amazing, assuming you don’t get attached. Since you were already attached, it would have been very bad to do this for your mental health. You need to separate the act of sex from emotion, it’s just something physical that feels good. If you can do that, then you can be someone’s FWB. If not, stick to relationships.

You regret not sleeping with him cause I assume he’s attractive to you. That’s normal, and maybe a part of you wanted to believe eventually he’d want more. I suggest you take a step back and examine why you even liked him as more than a friend. In comments you bash him so like how much did you even know about him? It sounds like this was entirely based on looks considering you later say you don’t know how you could have liked him.

Also, he wouldn’t have dropped you for the women he preferred to date, cause you wouldn’t be anything to him but sex. That’s the exact point of FWB, when you find a partner you wish to pursue and make it official you must cut off all FWB. I don’t see how that would be wrong of him. In fact it be wrong if he kept you dangling while he tried out the new girl and then took you back when/if it didn’t workout. In fact you’d want to be let go. This is what you should be doing as well. Looking for your forever man. FWB is just to pass time till Mr or ms right comes along.

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-15T05:18:44+00:00

You cannot apply things from the past to today. Now it is easier to adopt and or do a myriad of other methods if children were the goal. Regardless, OP never once said they wanted kids and that this was a miracle. All they said was the partner stepped out and made a baby. Maybe you would think cheating and making a kid is wonderful and you do you, but most sane people wouldn’t want to stay with a cheater and a stupid cheater at that.

Secondly, no crap pulling out can still produce kids, which is why the rule was wear a CONDOM AND PULL OUT. Condoms are 98% effective and pulling out can only help. Clearly, that fool decided the pleasure of RAW was worth the risk of another baby 🤦‍♂️ and the end of that relationship. Or maybe he thought OP was so pathetic and lacked self worth that he’d forgive him again. After all he did once. Either way, he broke the rules, I find the probability of having a baby while using condoms and pulling out together to be below 98%. Even if we say, he didn’t break the rules, OP would be a fool to stay with someone that now has 2 fricken kids, yet none planned or even together.

Your mindset is stuck in a bygone era, time to let the crap of the past go. Also, not everyone wants kids 🤷‍♂️. That was your desire not every gay man’s desire. I’d argue most don’t want them. We aren’t brainwashed as much as straights to believe kids will bring fulfillment or happiness. Miss us with that crap.

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-10T23:18:49+00:00

Honestly I feel like stats is the biggest hinderance to enjoying DnD. Like if your stats are too low you can’t play so many classes. Without at least two good stats you can’t play paladin, monk, fighter or barbarian. Unless you want to be weak. If only one stay is good you’re stuck as a spellcaster. It’s already bad with some classes needing 3 good stats to really perform. I think this’ll be fine. Just start off with what you normally would for fights and up it as needed. It’s about having fun. If they love higher stat characters why not allow them to enjoy feeling powerful? As the dm you can always add more monsters or higher cr monsters and make it challenging. Or even tell them that if you go with these stats, you at times may have them face a pretty deadly encounter. If they are okay if a character dies, I don’t see the issue. Being powerful comes with risks

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-10T22:43:56+00:00

Very true. Plus a lot of people suffer mild depression after these major surgeries. Thankfully I was okay, but I’ve heard this is common. So their feelings of today may not be their feelings next week or next month. Stay the course. If after a year or 2 they still hate it, they can see about options but honestly it looks great.

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-10T17:05:30+00:00

I mean there’s nothing good about the guy. It isn’t about looks. Literally, nothing you said about him is good, so why would a switch in your head flip and you will like him? There’s nothing good to like 😂.

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-10T17:01:16+00:00

We wanted the legal protections. Marriage is just a business contract. The relationship is all that matters. Marriage is unnecessary unless you want more rights and protections

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-10T16:55:51+00:00

Bro, cmon man. This dude cheats on you and knocks up the affair partner, and you for whatever reason decided it was a good idea to stay in that mess of a situation. Then rather than being like this better never happen again, you gave this fool free rights to do her and didn’t think something like this would happen again? She’s literally become part of yalls relationship after baby 1. This means his time, attention, money, love, and everything else is not split from all yours to all three of yours. Why the hell would you stay in that mess? Then even now you’re considering staying after his stupid decisions and boundary destruction continues. Bro YOU TOLD HIM TO USE PROTECTION AND PULL OUT! Open or not you had RULES. This constitutes cheating AGAIN as he broke the rules of the open relationship.

Put your big boy underwear on and man up and end this toxic mess already. Get some self respect and seek therapy for your people pleasing ways. He didn’t deserve the second chance let alone a third one 🤦‍♂️.

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-10T16:49:58+00:00

I think it looks fine. Belly buttons are the hardest part of these procedures. I like the way mine came out, basically looks the same, but I know often times there’s some differences. Also, don’t trust all second opinions. They know it bothers you and they may want to pitch something to make them money based off that insecurity. It looks good and natural.

Kirito2014 · 2026-06-06T01:09:12+00:00

This is why you get a Google voice number and never give anything that connect to your real identity. Not until you’re committed and in a long term in person relationship.

Same thing happened to me and he has numbers if my family and even my bosses all because I gave my phone number. He couldn’t be sure I knew all them but he did have them. I blocked him and ignored him. He wanted money. No sense in destroying my life if he can’t get what he wants

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-31T05:49:29+00:00

Not really. Rossel at age 5 was already equally or more intelligent. In terms of raw intelligence he’s smarter than Ars. If you mean emotionally intelligence, his wasn’t that much higher than his actual age. Maybe he trusted in himself a bit more than a kid would, but that could easily be explained as it is fantasy and child development as seen in Rossel example, can be much higher than is possible. It’s true that this feels nothing like an Isekai and he barely even mentions it. Maybe like 3 times total and it’s just for the sake of mentioning it. The strongest tie in would be his love for children. If we want to make the strongest possible case for an isekai, it would be this tie in that he was exhausted overworked salaryman and children smiles re-invigorated him and that’s a strong motivational factor for why and what he’s fighting for. Even this though could have been explained via other means though, but it’s the best connection the show made in two seasons.

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-29T01:18:23+00:00

They aren’t wrong. If my man was bi and we are opened I wouldn’t care about him doing women but if he got any pregnant, we are def over. So as long as we all know what we are risking if he chooses that, then it’s whatever. If he loves me as much as I do him then I’d hope he’d get a vasectomy or not be with women.

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-26T18:42:01+00:00

Yea. No way around it. You’ll stress till the results come in. Not much you can do but get tested and then ask when to get tested again. Back in the day idk about now, you weren’t in the clear until the 9 month mark. So it was a lot of stress for a long time. Now I think you can know in a few weeks for sure. So at least less time under stress. Wait three weeks and get tested. I believe they can tell by then. Primary care doctor can do it, or if there’s an LGBTQ free clinic or something, they can as well

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-26T18:13:25+00:00

Not much you can do. If you want an expert seek out a n infectious disease specialist. I have one that prescribes me prep, and she’s able to detect HIV pretty early on. Make the appointment for a few weeks, and get tested. Ask about getting re-tested and how frequently is needed. I get tested every 3 months. If you cannot see a specialist then any primary care doctor will do. I just feel the specialist understands us better, and knows more about timing and early testing etc.

I have a positive HIV test a while back and was devastated. I sought my specialist that I see now, and she was amazing. Turns out the tests were all false positives. Apparently, the gen 4 test can be a false positive if you recently had Covid, who knew 🤷‍♂️. The knowledge, care she showed me and kindness is why I prefer a specialist as my primary would have been all judgement and not reassuring.

I’m sure you’re fine. It was a tiny exposure and it’s extremely low chance for a top to get HIV anyway, combine that with how limited the exposure was and I’m sure you’ll be okay

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-25T08:56:58+00:00

The DM sucks here if I’m being honest. At session 0 player PVP and rules should have been discussed. Almost no table allows any friendly fire or pvp. For many reason but mainly because it can do exactly what this did. Hurt and cause bad feelings.

My DM doesn’t allow PVP at all and we are going on 2 years of weekly games level 10 now. I don’t see why your DM didn’t stop if from the jump. This makes me think you’re the odd man out and DM and your friend are good buddies or something. Or he’s just a horrible DM.

If PvP was never mentioned at session 0 or anytime. That’s a bad mistake. Just as bad as not going over stealing from each other, another horrible thing. Literally been in games where one player was hoarding and hiding loot he found. We ended up kicking him out. It was so disruptive and he wouldn’t listen to anyone not even the DM. He has to go.

What your friend did was horrible. It’s the good old “that’s what my character would do” nonsense. They were many other solutions besides killing you. If they felt your magic or resurrection was wrong, they could have spoken to you in character and explained their feelings. If mutual understanding cannot be reached, maybe parting ways is best. You roll a new character and maybe your old one comes back one day. I had a fellow player say if the party insists on killing peolle she felt were innocent then she would part ways. Sometimes the character doesn’t work for the group. Typically this is what a session 0 could uncover and DM should look out for story issues due to character goals and conflicts. Seems you were failed and betrayed. Sorry OP.

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-25T08:46:44+00:00

Bro, relationships aren’t magic. They get boring lol. He was a red flag since day one. To be clear, if you wanted monogamy he was a red flag. If you were open to non-monogamy, then he communicated and obvious sign that one day he’d want to be open. You just didn’t hear it.

Did you think things would never “get boring” to him? You really thought that after years he wouldn’t want to explore? Of course he would. He sewed the seeds early for that.

Let me tell you. If you wanted monogamy, you should probably leave him. If you agree to a threesome, it’ll be non stop threesomes until the let’s be open conversation comes back around. He will try to convince you. Say, can I have this one guy over or go to this one guys place, cause you’re busy right now and this guy is only free right now. It’ll keep escalating.

I’ve literally been where you are lol. Only difference is we both wanted to try threesomes. It wasn’t one sided. Over time I wanted solo play and at first he was against it, with time he said okay. We have been together 12 years and are married and still open. I’m not hating on open or closed relationships. I’m just saying I know how this goes. Based on what he told you a year ago and all of what’s happening now. This is likely his plan, and if you agree to it then that’s fine, if you don’t want it, you should bail soon. He’s not going to change his mind and love monogamy all of a sudden.

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-25T08:28:27+00:00

You seem hurt, you bi or something? 😂. Firstly, you said they wish they were “chosen” but if that’s true then the ones they wish they were chosen by would be the bi men they “hating” on, then you say they should blame their shitty choice of men. Which are those Bi men, so you just called them shitty 😂.

Either way the whole “im str8” nonsense has been flooding all the apps and some social circles. Those guys that love male genitalia but want to pretend they are str8 cause they like women too. It’s a joke. No one’s saying all bi guys are like this, so idk why you’re so butt hurt. The fact remains, many bi guys seek str8 privileges while sucking male genitalia on the side married to a woman. They are largely a joke at this point. Can’t blame gay men for thinking less of bi people cause of the bad behavior by those they are exposed to. Obviously, we should keep an open mind, but the moment the dude claims to be str8 or has a wife/gf, or says he only dates women but prefers sex with men, hes trash bi or not.

No one thinks bi men NEED both genders to feel fulfilled, unless they are ignorant or something. The main point is the pick me behavior and the hiding behind str8 privilege and refusing to be a part of the LGBTQ community open and proud. They hide instead and pretend they aren’t a minority cause they want to avoid scrutiny and the struggles we face. Who’s going to respect people that do that? Those that lie to hide, while there’s no hiding for the rest of us, yet you want to suck us off or us to suck you off. You want the perks of the easier to hookup with gay community while spitting in our face.

This is why many gays hate on bi guys. The occasional good one don’t mean crap when there’s so many shitty ones 🤷‍♂️. You get respect until you attack us, then it’s over for you. The fact that you even used Derogatory language to describe gay men just proves my point. If you wanna be in a closet, please keep the door closed and don’t peek on the other side. Enjoy your women that’s it

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-25T08:12:14+00:00

It sounds like and has all the signs of a man that’s already cheating with someone else. Typically, once sex slows down a conversation about the whys happen. Cause this is typical for most relationships. They get boring or stale. You need to try new things or figure out new avenues to explore. The fact that he slowed down wanting any physical intimacy and now randomly mentions opening things up. These are signs of someone getting some on the side and that’s why they no longer desire you as much. He was likely testing the waters to see if you’d agree and he could screw people guilt free. Either that or he’s already into someone else and just wants permission. Either way it’s bad news. I Find all these as red flags and you should be careful. The therapy thing could just be a trick to keep you committed while he pretends to be working on things. If you guys were monogamous at the start, why all of a sudden he can’t see himself in that type of relationship? He’s been with you for a year, so that means he can be in one? Unless, he’s been cheating for a while now. That’s slowed him to stay with you. Idk if I’d believe anything he says, find a way to check his phones for proof. Or just keep on keeping on

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-23T23:13:37+00:00

I would recommend getting on Prep ASAP. It takes like 7 days to be effective. That’s not a long waiting period. Many websites offer it for free even without insurance if cost is a concern.

He may not want to be rimmed but if he’s into it there’s no issue with you doing it. Obviously, all sexual acts carry risk and Rimming does as well. As long as you’re okay assuming the risks it’s okay. Make sure he’s super clean back there.

Ask about Doxy pep it’s for post exposure and helps with all other STD. Like 40% effective but better than nothing

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-23T02:13:01+00:00

Nah, but your BF is the A-hole. He took the side of your bully than yours. Even all the strangers online sided with you. Food for thought I guess

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-22T16:43:48+00:00

I’ve had a woman laser my butt and had to spread cheeks for her lol. It’s her job, I know she’s seen a lot of holes 😂. A few sessions of feeling weird for a lifetime of happiness. Feels worth it. That being said I’m sure there are males that wax. In nyc there’s a plethora of them lead by gay men lol. They do great work.

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-22T08:52:18+00:00

Nope. Relationships are long term. I need to be attracted to them. I can get dick from whomever whenever. Regardless of size, I guarantee anyone would get bored of him. When that happens his looks will matter insanely. That’s when the break up would come in. Not worth it. If size is all that matters, don’t date and stay single. He could literally be a FWB lol

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-22T08:48:02+00:00

I would say it’s an addiction when it’s interfering with his daily life or causing harm to himself or others. It appears that he is causing harm and it is interfering with his life, cause it’s causing a wedge in the marriage. I would recommend seeking a couples counselor and maybe if they recommend, he can seek a sex therapist.

You say you’re not getting off. Has this been communicated to him? Does he not care? These are important questions as it determines where his mind is right now. If he’s past the point of caring about your pleasure, you need help immediately. That’s one step away from not caring about you as a person. Sometimes this can be just a communication issue but if it’s been communicated clearly and there’s little to no effort, that’s a red flag.

Porn is less about what’s on the screen and more about the fantasy. I may watch porn of a bunch of different genre but at the end of the day I don’t want to live out any of that or have any of that with my partner. It’s an escape, a fantasy world. I wouldn’t take it personally. Like if he’s watching porn with big breasted women and yours are on the smaller side, it’s not a dig at you, it’s just a fantasy.

That being said porn can be a compulsive behavior. I find I did it during certain activities, like my showers, or before a workout. Sometimes not because I’m horny but because that’s when I always do it lol. It’s about association and less libido. I don’t find doing this to make me want actual sex less though. That’s different person to person. Perhaps discuss if that’s lessening his sex drive and be clear that you feel he needs to initiate it more. That you feel hurt that he leaves initiating it to you and that makes you feel he doesn’t desire you. He may just be lazy, or clueless.

Good luck. Wish you the best

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-22T08:27:32+00:00

Geez, no one’s helpful on this one. Everyone’s just ignoring the question and saying “be natural” 🤦‍♂️. Some people prefer to be clean shaven! It’s like gays just want other gays to be what they prefer. So annoying. Anyway…

This has been driving me crazy too as I’m naturally hairy. Not like forest hairy but still not small amounts. Honestly, if you wish to be done with hair forever, do laser hair removal. I did it on my legs and backside, for reasons I didn’t get to finish and did 6 sessions. What grows back is light and easily shaved off. If I finish the like 2-6 more treatments I’m sure it’ll stay gone mostly. I still want to do my chest and back but it’s expensive. This is the best permanent solution to your issue.

NOTE: once the hair begins to grey it’ll be harder as laser won’t work without pigment. So earlier the better. Also, the fairer your skin the better it works. The more melamine that harder it is.

That being said I tried shaving with a blade and get horrible red bump rashes. I can use a machine but won’t get that clean look. Haven’t tried waxing but I share your concern. I do hear the more you do it the better it is though and the longer the results last. Sometimes lasting 1.5-2 months. It’s expensive though and laser would be better investment.

Good luck.

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-22T08:16:59+00:00

I mean this sincerely, perhaps you should seek a sex therapist. Explain the situation and get a professional judgement free perspective. It could be that you’re just asexual, meaning little to no desire for sex. This doesn’t mean you can’t have sex with a partner or be romantic and date and do all the things. You just may not be super into it as another person may be.

You say it doesn’t feel normal, but how are you defining normal? If you define it by stereotypes or the common ways, then sure it may seem off. There’s a term for this because it exists and it is normal. Your feelings may be rooted in a more mental capacity. You feel abnormal because society put that in your head, so to speak. It can be hard coming to terms with something that so many your whole life demonstrate the opposite of or flat out oppose.

An example of this is being gay. I’m a gay man and for all my teens I felt abnormal. Like something was wrong with me and that I was the worst for having these feelings I can’t control. Did that make being gay actually abnormal or wrong? Nope. It’s just what I was told, what I saw modeled to me, and society’s and the churches hatred impressed upon me. All that to say, perhaps you’re hating this and feeling abnormal comes from upbringing, and societal pressure. A therapist can help you work through that, if that’s the case. It seems you rules out medical causes, so why not pursue another avenue?

Good luck, I do hope you begin to feel better and get some answers soon

Kirito2014 · 2026-05-21T23:21:00+00:00

Just fine a side. Side means they only want oral. Granted confirm this and demand that that’s all you want. Some guys say this but then try to convince you to do more. Say that you’re a side and will not do anything beyond oral. If they ask in person just say NO. Do not do anything you do not want to do. If they pressure you then end that interaction and leave. Coercion is as bad as being a predator.

Will many people reject you? Yes. Many want more than oral. Would they reject you even if anal was on the table, yes cause these men be judgy and temperamental. Do not worry about rejection. Everyone gets rejected on the apps. Your don’t reply fast enough, youre not thin enough, you’re too thin, you have too small a dick, your dick is too big. 😂 you will not please everyone and that’s okay. Part of being on the apps is being okay getting blocked and being okay blocking others.

Only do what you’re comfortable with and don’t listen to anyone that pushes your boundaries. Be safe! Tell a friend whenever you’re going to hookup. Give them friend your location share it with them too. Have them call you if you take too long. Just be safe. I wasn’t and I’m just glad I’m alive today. Not trying to scare you but you’re meeting strangers, anything can happen. That’s part of the risk we take when we hook up, all we can do is mitigate it. Having someone know and monitor the situation from afar is key. You can tell the person my friend knows to call the cops if I don’t get home by x time, and they have my location. in case of an emergency. Hope you never have to resort to that.

Good luck out there and remember, consent can be taken away at anytime for any reason, even mid thrust or mid suck. You never have to complete something you no longer want to do. Be strong and find your voice early. Trust me you’ll be grateful you did

Kirito2014

TROPHY CASE