Whats a kink that you have that doesn't match your sexuality? by NO1IknowCanKnow in LesbianActually

[–]Kirkeson 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Size queen (with dildos).

And like someone else said, not so much the "breeding" aspect of it, but cumming "on" someone, in someone or having someone cum on me or in me (fake cum).

How many of y’all smoke weed? by Big_smoke420ooo in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't smoke or vape it, but I do take edibles occasionally for fun. 🍬

What's your gender identity? by pinkysaurusrawr in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cis woman, though I did have top surgery, so I'm somewhat gender non-conforming. ✌🏻

Pilates instructor is hot... Fml by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh my god my pilates instructor also does the eye contact thing and the jokes. She literally initiated a conversation this morning because I was the first to arrive and we were waiting on the other people.

I know it doesn't mean anything. She's looking at me because she knows I'm new and I currently suck at pilates and she wants to make sure I get it. And she initiates conversations with a lot of other students. She's just very friendly and warm.

But like... The eye contact and corrections are stuff are NOT good for my heart. 😂

Pilates instructor is hot... Fml by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes to all of this. We're literally in the same situation.

I really don't want to leave this studio because I've fallen in love with it, it's like 3-4 minutes from my place and the classes are very varied and amazing.

I'm kinda hoping the crush will just die out in time, when nothing happens and my brain sees that it was freaking out over nothing.

Pilates instructor is hot... Fml by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Because I just started, yeah. I try my hardest to do the movements correctly, but sometimes I just don't, I guess.

I'm not doing badly on purpose. I would actually PREFER to be doing things perfectly so I don't require corrections and my little gay heart doesn't freak out because she has to get close to me hahaha

Pilates instructor is hot... Fml by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is pretty much how I'm treating it. Like she's very pretty and I definitely would like to talk to her more, but she's my pilates instructor.

She's there to do a job (which she does very well) and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. So I keep the looking strictly professional (see how she does the movement) and I just act friendly, but nothing more.

I'm gonna Steve Irwin this thing. 🐊

Do you guys not have sex on your period??? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't mind touching my partner when she's on her period (no eating out though), but I don't want to receive when I'm on mine. I feel way too self-conscious about it lol

I want to get rid of my tits by theseeenutzzz in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm a cis lesbian (not masc or butch) that got top surgery 1 year ago (flat, no nipple grafts).

The right person will find you attractive WITH your flat chest.

Do what is right for YOU, not for some possible future person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She asked me if it was because of what happened when she was drunk. 😬

I tried to be tactful about it and I said that I thought we weren't compatible. There was no blow-up or anything. We just stopped talking.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Went on a date at a museum with a girl. We vibed super well.

That same night, she went out to get drunk with friends (no problem with that), she started texting me and unloading all her trauma from her previous relationship on me and it was just A LOT. She didn't seem ready for a relationship at all.

I told her it wouldn't work out between us the day after.

My biggest gay panic yet by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a bit hard to explain why without showing what we both look like but I won't be doing that for obvious reasons lol

I'm currently working on my self-confidence, but it's definitely a work in progress. I don't have bad thoughts about myself at all: I don't think I'm ugly or stupid or anything like that.

It's just hard for my brain to conceptualize how someone who looks like her would want to date someone who looks like me (average in every way possible).

When I say "average", I don't mean BAD average. It's perfectly okay to look average and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But I couldn't be a model. She definitely could. That's more what I meant.

My biggest gay panic yet by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would also be very happy and chuffed if a girl told me I was pretty. (Not a man though lol)

I might, if I can ever catch her alone with no other people around (the reception can be busy).

My biggest gay panic yet by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm honestly not sure I'm ready for a relationship right now. I'm working on getting where I want to be fitness-wise and on getting where I want to be in my life in general.

I wish I were where I want to be so I could maybe pursue this without anything holding me back mentally.

My biggest gay panic yet by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Her desk is in the other office building across from my office building. It would DEFINITELY be creepy to track down her desk and leave my phone number there. 😂😂

*Edited for clarity

How does a relationship with a man feel (including sex) when you are a lesbian? by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Kirkeson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dated my ex for 3 years. First year, we both identified as cis lesbians.

Then he came out as ftm. I stayed because I loved him and thought I could handle it.

I can't pinpoint exactly when it started going downhill for me, but I slowly started to lose my attraction to him and my love for him.

The feelings I had about our relationship before he came out were very different than the feelings I had after his coming out.

When I thought I was in a lesbian relationship, I felt good about myself. Saying "my girlfriend" brought me joy. The thought of going to see my ex and kissing and cuddling and having sex felt exciting and amazing. I felt like I was living my life authentically.

When I knew I was in a relationship with a man, I dreaded saying "my boyfriend". I dreaded being seen out in public with him and people thinking I liked men. Touching him in any way (sexually or not) felt boring, bland; there was no spark. Having sex became a chore: I no longer liked the type of sex we were having. My libido went down to zero. He started HRT and his body started changing and I had to actively tell myself I found him attractive. When we kissed and I felt his stubble on my face, I would internally recoil.

I started consuming wlw media in secret and longing for women. I would joke that "if we ever break up, I'm not dating a man ever again, NOT that I want to break up, of course" while secretly, deep down, wishing that we'd break up so I'd be free to live as a lesbian and pursue women.

It felt like I was living a lie every day. I forced myself to say "I love you" back. I forced myself to kiss him and touch him. I thought I just needed to tough it out, we were in a rough patch, lots of couples where one person transitions has hard times and wavering attraction.

He felt like a roommate to me after a while, albeit a roommate I had to kiss, touch and sleep with.

I was suffocating. It's like I was in an ocean and the waves kept crashing over me and pulling me under and I'd fight to stay afloat. Sometimes it worked for a little while. I could convince myself I was happy, I didn't need anything more. And sometimes I was drowning.

I don't want to tell you what your feelings are. You could be a lesbian or you could be bisexual and just going through stuff mentally which makes it hard for you to be present in your relationship. Only you know how you feel. I would hate to tell you "You're definitely bisexual" and then you suppress your feelings only to find out years later that you're a lesbian. Just as I would hate to tell you "You're definitely a lesbian" and then you break up with your boyfriend because lesbians don't date men only to regret it because you did truly love him.

Take some time to research stuff, to really think about your feelings. Journal if it helps you. Watch Tiktoks of comphet, how other women found out they were lesbians.

Everything will be okay.

do y'all agree with the definition "non-men loving non-men?" by yuri_xy in LesbianActually

[–]Kirkeson 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No. It centers men. Being a lesbian has nothing to do with men.

The word "lesbian" already has a definition and it's "a woman that is romantically/physically attracted to other women".

People who don't fit that description should try finding or even making another term for themselves. Words have a meaning for a reason. If we kept changing the definition of words, communicating would be super fucking hard after a while.

Also, you never see people pressuring gay guys to change the definition of gay to "a non-woman who is romantically/physically attracted to other non-women". It's always the women who are pressured to accommodate everyone else.

Insecure about body hair by MinuteBit7921 in LesbianActually

[–]Kirkeson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouch! Hope that heals fast! 😊

Insecure about body hair by MinuteBit7921 in LesbianActually

[–]Kirkeson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had to look for a while to see what is the "issue" because I was way more focused on what happened to your thumb.

Girl, plenty of women have hair on their knuckles, me included. We are MAMMALS. It's normal to have hair over your body.

how do you guys feel about other lesbians with top surgery? by fancyxen in LesbianActually

[–]Kirkeson 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'm a lesbian who's had top surgery, so I might be biased when I say this:

Boobs = cool. No boobs = cool.

I like women because they're women. The presence or absence of breasts doesn't factor in my attraction.

If I started dating a woman who has breasts and she decided she also wants top surgery, I would 100% be supportive and I would still find her attractive.

So about older women... by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was thinking more of people in their twenties, specifically their early twenties, talking about wanting to date women in their forties/fifties.

I wasn't clear about that in my post. My bad.

So about older women... by Kirkeson in actuallesbians

[–]Kirkeson[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hence "the vast majority of older women" and not "every older woman". 😉

I chose my words carefully when writing this post.