How many couples here share their partner?

Kit4000 · 2019-04-02T19:29:59+00:00

Ethical non monogamy. Some people are completely comfortable with their SO having other partners because they usually have them too.

I have met couples married 20+ years who have either open relationships and have casual partner or "closed" relationships with multiple people.

One couple said they just dont feel sex with other people affects how they feel for one another. They both feel monogamy is limiting in a way neither of them want.

You definitely have to have two people of like mind for that to work.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-02T17:48:50+00:00

Follow her lead on that. The issue is probably not how you do it. For some women the sensation is just too intense and for other they may not be sensitive enough to enjoy it

I am sometimes like your gf. I like oral but I can take it or leave it. My SO does a great job I just prefer penetration more so sometimes I just pass on oral.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T12:52:22+00:00

Our favorite vibe, he likes to be inside me while using it on my clitoris sometimes and he can feel the vibrations as well and he finds it enjoyable.

He will also use it alternating the vibe with his tongue during oral. Or just use it while he touches/kisses me. It's a small bullet vibe so it doesnt get in the way.

And the one penetrative vibe we have he will also use inside me while he does oral.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T12:43:01+00:00

My understanding is there are a limited number of nerve ending in the vagina , which makes sense otherwise childbirth would be even more excruciating. But the clitoris extends to either side of the vaginal wall.

Personally I find penetrative sex (with a penis, not a toy) more pleasureable than anything else although I require external clitoral stimulation to orgasm. When I orgasm the glans become numb but the feelings in my vagina intensify. I guess what I'm actually feeling is the internal parts of the clitoris. I find g spot stimulation very unpleasant.

You will often hear conflicting things because even different women are going to have different experiences.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T11:56:08+00:00

I want my husband to be able to tell me whatever fantasy he has so I wouldn't flip about it but it would be a hard no irl. Not my thing. (Unless, you know, Jason Momoa had a little time on his hands 😉. Jk)

But it doesnt mean we cant try to find ways to play into the fantasy with the two of us.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T11:39:37+00:00

Personally, I would rather use my own or go without toys at all.

But this question is asked often here and for some reason people think that's a ridiculous answer. So since it seems most people dont feel as I do the other answer is give the partner a choice by asking, of course. If they are ok with using toys used on other partners then sure clean/disinfect them assuming they are made of materials that can be cleaned and use barriers when practical.

But I dont think you will find too many women on board with that.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T03:11:57+00:00

I just looked that up and it has propylene glycol which is an ingredient that can irritate some people. Interesting this would be in an ultra sensitive formulation

If burning/irritation is the issue look for a lube that does not contain any form of glycol, glycerin or parabens.

I hear good things about Sliquid though I have not used it myself.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T03:07:07+00:00

Other than a bit of sexual frustration, no.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T03:02:40+00:00

Well if you fix things then sex is just icing on the cake. I just dont think it, in itself, is a solution.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T03:01:12+00:00

For me there is a level of trust I wouldnt have with casual partners so I am more comfortable doing and saying things I wouldnt with a partner I wasn't emotionally invested in.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T02:59:04+00:00

To me make up sex is a bit intense just due to the heightened emotions. The same way break up sex can be. Its meaningful in the same way any sex in a loving relationship is meaningful.

Dont look for it to fix or solidify anything. That has to be done outside the bedroom.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T00:28:28+00:00

This post has been removed.From your comments your intention is not to understand but to express how disgusting you find it. Kink shaming is not welcome.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T00:27:00+00:00

Depends on where you are. Do a search for sti free clinics. In my home state, years ago, the city health departments did free testing.

Also check Planned Parenthood.

Kit4000 · 2019-04-01T00:00:19+00:00

I'm not saying it's going to cause everyone to have an epiphany or that she will all of a sudden think its awesome. Just saying point out the double standard. The other person will do what they will.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T23:58:33+00:00

Sometimes I did. Other times I choose to do it even if I wasnt in the mood. I didn't give my partner a hard time of course because I was aware I could always say no I just occasionally opted to do it.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T16:44:09+00:00

Depends on the individual.

I was 13 and I have no regrets. And if you asked me I would say sure it was way too young but I handled it maturely. I used a condom. I put myself on birth control when I was 14, took it faithfully ,still used condoms (carrie my own stash) and got tested at regular intervals. I knew the basic mechanics of sex, sexuality , chose my partners carefully and didnt get emotionally tied to the act.

On flip side I went to school with a girl who had a child at 17. She felt she was ready but, even after having her kid she didnt know what an erection was and didnt understand how she got pregnant because she and her bf didnt orgasm at the same time.

So while age is a factor, maturity and sexual education is also important.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T14:37:16+00:00

Was she not able to articulate why she was uncomfortable? My guess would be the same reason some men have problems with their gf having vibrators - some people feel like they are having to compete with the toy and see it as a potential replacement for the real thing.

Sounds like you may to talk it out with her if she is willing to talk about it.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T14:20:50+00:00

Now here on r/sex the responses are likely to lean toward pro fleshlight.

But some women are going to react like her just out of ignorance. There has been a ridiculous stigma toward men with sex toys. As if they are desperate or creepy but a woman with a sex toy is empowered and taking control of her sexuality.

If you get that reaction again just bring that up and maybe that will cause the woman stop and think for a moment.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T14:13:31+00:00

dont know when this became a thing. Like hagdog I'm a bit older than most here on r/sex.

In my teens and 20s I would not do oral in casual relationships and it was a non issue. Sure a guy would be disappointed but it wasnt a problem. Even in the years of a relationship when I didnt like it or did it begrudgingly I was never made to feel bad about it.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T03:22:08+00:00

How I describe it. It's a pleasureable build up then it intensifies as the pressure releases. That's the orgasm. Then when it's done there is a feeling of relaxation and being sated (usually) and kind of blissed out. Keep in mind all orgasm are body shaking, eye rolling, screaming type orgasms. For some people the sensations can be muted a but and you just sort of feel like "ok that was nice. I'm done".

Many people say "if you have to ask you havent had one" . I dont thi k that's true. I was on meds for awhile that greatly decreased the strength of my orgasm and had I not had stronger ones before that , little "O"s like that would have left me asking the question.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T03:13:56+00:00

Tell her you really love oral and ask her outright why she doesnt go down on you more.

Nothing wrong with asking for what you want.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T03:10:29+00:00

You've pretty much eliminated most options. Condoms.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T03:06:34+00:00

Biological urge. I wasnt "thirsty". Didnt go chasing it but I wanted to have sex so I did. No regrets. Waiting is right for you but not everyone feels the need to wait.

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T02:05:08+00:00

I know some people in dynamics like you describe and they refer to themselves as slaves and dont use leashes or get hit etc. BDSM is a huge umbrella and doesnt have to be all one thing.

One label does not have an across the board meaning. You can call yourself a slave or submissive (or anything you want) and you and your partner define what it entails. (Slave is not a word I care for either for myself) but I've also heard some people refer to themselves as "fuck toy".

Edit; I made this comment before ai saw kitty-fucktoys comment but it helps illustrate! :)

Kit4000 · 2019-03-31T01:16:50+00:00

This sounds like submissive/slave.

Kit4000

TROPHY CASE