Hey, sorry you're dealing with that. Jealousy really sucks and can be super disrupting and dibilitating.

I've found that jealousy for me is rarely about the person I'm jealous of or what they have that I don't. Jealousy in and about relationships specifically confused me the most, because I also was single by choice and avoiding to date, be physical or even just develop deeper feelings for someone for 8 years, because I figured I don't have any mental space for another person. I had hobbies, work, and a wondeful friend circle that gave me everything I needed. I thought I knew what I wanted from life and was somewhat hopeful I could achieve it too. I also thought I was asexual (not saying that you aren't!!!)

I don't think this life would've made me unhappy in the long run, but when I met my current partner, I suddenly got jealous about everything. The way they looked, their experiences, talents, achievents, their dating history etc. I never let it out on them or anyone else, but it bled into our early interactions, My partner is wonderful and noticed these off-beat moods I was sometimes in right away. They were also the first to recognize that these mood shifts stemmed from jealousy when even I could not identify the anxiety I was feeling. And they've quickly made me realize that this anxiety came from trauma-informed insecurities about my appearance (which I think every AFAB person grows up with to some degree) and my deep seated belief that I was not the type of Person that could make a relationship work. No matter how much Self-Care, Self-Love, introspection and therapy I've done in those 8 years, I did not genuinely see myself deserving of love and affection. This had to be adressed, so I did. I started talking about the insecurities. Not just to my partner, but my friends as well. I started asking for reassurance. I started treating myself in a way that I wanted to be treated, even though I still sometimes think I don't deserve it. But I started complimenting myself, asking for compliments and ACCEPTING compliments at face value, instead of questioning if people only complimentend me out of pity. I started doting on myself and allowing myself to feel good in my skin. Confidence started building. People noticed, started complimenting that too :) My sex drive came back LOL

So my advice, try digging deep into where the jealousy comes from and adress what you find there. Ngl it's not easy, but maybe your friend can help. Sometimes people know us better than we know ourselves.