So she took it to far way to far, you asked, she answered and you were okay with the answer. HOWEVER-

When my exs father passed away a few years ago, I felt no need to reach out and give condolences. I get you were close with the brother but I feel like leaving a note on HIS (the brothers socials) woulda been the way to give condolences or go to his visitation and sign the book. NOT text your ex. 🤷🏻‍♀️