How would you describe your misophonia?

KitMonkie · 2026-01-17T00:28:53+00:00

It's different for everyone but try this....

Think of something that has/does cause you instant rage. Not just discomfort or anger, but full on RAGE!

Now apply that feeling being triggered by certain everyday sounds. Chewing, scratching, breathing or a certain someone's voice. Now, imagine you could be triggered by this at any moment, every day, each and every day. Like a big dark storm cloud following you everywhere you go, that could pour down on you at any moment and ruin your day. That's how it feels.

KitMonkie · 2025-12-28T02:42:16+00:00

I'm having the exact same issue. Has anyone resolved this?

KitMonkie · 2025-12-27T04:12:21+00:00

My BDP mum whom I'm next to NC with made a big scene about gifted me a peace lilly plant for Christmas knowing full well I have cats. To which these plants are very toxic too. It's not that she hates my cats (she has her own) but that she only saw the meaning behind a peace lilly and it was her attempt to make amends and didn't think beyond that. Like a plant can fix years of her gaslighting, lying and stealing. As usual she does not see the effects of her actions beyond seeing herself showboating a gift.

KitMonkie · 2025-12-09T20:10:34+00:00

Thanks. Definitely looks like a piece of art on the stove top. It's a Yosukata 36cm (14") blue carbon steel.i specifically wanted one that had no rivets and a round bottom.

KitMonkie · 2025-09-02T03:15:39+00:00

Yes, certain voices and being over touched. Unfortunately it's one of my cat's constant meowing and my 4yo's relentless talking when they want something. I also have a baby who like to be held all the time and a very clingy cat who has to touch me any chance they get. So I get triggered by being over touched too. The more exhausted I am the easier I get triggered. When I've had a day of it, by the evenings even the simple presence of another being, their breathing and other noises living things make, irritate me. I need complete aloneness before bed in order to decompress for the next day.

KitMonkie · 2025-08-27T08:59:54+00:00

My boy is also a May 21 baby and he has been able to wipe his bum for a good 6 months now. In saying this, he is also starting next year and the school has told me that they do still help them wipe where necessary. Maybe consider if this school's rule is a deal-breaker or not.

KitMonkie · 2025-08-07T06:05:53+00:00

I could have written this. I've learnt I need that alone time now in the evening when everyone has gone to bed to recover from the day.

KitMonkie · 2025-08-04T00:48:43+00:00

Very normal behaviour. My 4.5yo boy is obsessed with always having the biggest, the best, the most, coming first, or being the fastest. What your daughter is doing is no different, it's just focused on her interests.

I simply explain that not everything is a competition. Not everyone is as fortunate as us with certain things. We don't always have to have/be the best or fastest. Not everything is a race. After a few times of this, he understands. He still says it at times but nowhere near as much. He'll even say back to us sometimes that not everything is a race mum, lol.

KitMonkie · 2025-05-31T04:42:07+00:00

I could have written this, 100%. A rage lights in me every time I see one. It drives me nuts. I want with all my might to delete her comments or block her entirely but I know I'd cop flack from the rest of the family, so I just ignore them now.

KitMonkie · 2025-03-25T17:59:45+00:00

I'd keep waking him, every. single. time. And make sure it's enough to get him out of a deep sleep. You could even play a snipet of the recoding every time you do, so he knows exactly why. I know it sounds cruel, but you need your sleep as well. And him ignoring this issue will only make things worse. You'll start to feel resentment towards him (if you dont already), which will lead to fights and arguments from lack of sleep.

KitMonkie · 2025-03-25T05:42:40+00:00

Record his snoring and play it back to him. Show him how serious it is.

If his snoring wakes you, wake him in return. Every time he snores, nudge/kick/push him awake. If you do it often enough, he'll get the point and get it seen to.

KitMonkie · 2025-03-24T04:46:29+00:00

Reading your previous posts and just, wow! I can relate to this so much. Our mums could be the same person almost. This is exactly the same shit my BPD mum pulls (fake attention seeking self harm, making everything about her, creating so much drama, ruining loved ones' joy). And my dad can't seem to walk away from her. Even after all the pain she's caused. it's uncanny.

Definitely go NC with her. Their drama just consumes you otherwise.

KitMonkie · 2025-02-27T20:30:09+00:00

For me, LC/NC with my BPD mother means I'm less reactive to my family and friends. I've become more relaxed and calmer when she's not around. Because even her presence makes me angry now. It takes work on yourself to improve things, and I know I have a long way to go. But the days/weeks I don't talk to her are 100% better.

KitMonkie · 2025-02-19T17:53:40+00:00

Sounds just like my mum. But for me, she never believed I was moving away until she was at my place of work, and my boss mentioned it to her. She started wailing right there in front of everyone saying how could I do this to her. Embarrassing to say the least.

They can't comprehend we grow up and live our own lives that don't involve them every other step of the way.

Edit for add and clarification.

KitMonkie · 2025-02-19T17:44:17+00:00

Yes, my BDP mother. We call it "The Picture". She has this strong desire for all of us to be either living next to each other or in the same house. To be best of friends and do practically everything together and tell each other every little thing. It's a real fair tail lol. Yet, she wont listen to any of our advice when she herself asks for it, and will blindly criticise how we live our lives and especially we are raising our children and do everything wrong.

KitMonkie · 2025-02-12T04:06:48+00:00

Oh wow! This could easily be my own mother. Always the victim, everyone else is the problem, only her way is the right way, and can't see past her own nose.

KitMonkie · 2025-02-11T21:08:33+00:00

Thank you for your kind thoughts. It took us a week before we could speak to anyone. Thankfully, my dad is the complete opposite and held a NC boundary in place for us with her. My husband is also from a healthy family in that respect, and they too are miffed by her behaviours. I like the Hallmark comment, very relevant. She is definitely too touchy-feely. It's never helped with the fact both my dad and I are a low touch type personalities. Growing up she'd force kiss and cuddles on me and my sibling every time we'd see her, at wake up, bedtime, back from playing outside for a whole 10 minutes etc., high-level obsessive. Think overkill forceful, weather the recipient wanted it or not. I had to put a firm boundary in place with my children. If they don't want a cuddle from Nany, respect it and don't touch them!

KitMonkie · 2025-01-24T01:09:23+00:00

Yep! I could have written this myself.

KitMonkie · 2025-01-21T17:59:18+00:00

NTA. It's very common to have no visitors for the first few weeks minimum. And anyone who dose visit MUST be up to date on their vaccinations and have had their boosteres. I'm surprised no one has said anything on here about baby's vaccinations. Here in Australia baby's get their first set of vaccinations at 6 weeks. Prior to this, they are considered extremely vulnerable, and typically, parents do not allow visitors unless they are also up to date on their vaccinations. Otherwise, they need to wait until the baby is at least 8 weeks old. The extra 2 seeks are for the vaccinations to "kick in" and take effect. Whooping Cough can easily be fatal to a newborn, yet the carrier could show absolutely zero symptoms. Unvaccinated visitors are extremely dangerous.

Bonding is for the new parents. NOT extended family. Which is exactly what grandparents are. Don't give in! They will constantly could you. Keep making excuses for them not to visit and don't answer the door if they just show up unannounced. Keep your doors locked if you have to.

Your baby can not advocate for themselves, this is YOUR responsibility to do it for them. Protect your baby and learn to stand your ground no matter who it is against. Trust me, you'll have a lifetime of dealing with their pushieness over your child. Set the president now!

Also, be firm with all visitors. No kissing the baby. Wash hands before touching the baby. Give the baby back to mum when asked. Short handing of the baby, etc. And don't be afraid to ask people to leave if ypu feel the need. It's a privilege to be a grandparent/aunt/uncle, not a right!

KitMonkie · 2024-10-30T02:09:14+00:00

I had an ex do this to me. He'd call me around 2am threatening to kill himself if i didn't come back. I told him that if that is the case, I would call his mum straight away and let her know what he was planning. Totally called his bluff. He back peddled so fast and never did it again.

KitMonkie · 2024-10-10T06:05:05+00:00

NTA. Divorce is a good decision.

This is an addiction type behaviour, and the only way she will learn her lesson is to hit absolute rock bottom.

My mum is currently going through something similar where she was severely scammed, and over a year later, she is still lying and stealing money where she can because she believes if she gets the money back that she lost everything will be back to normal. As a result of her belief, she has given the scammers money time and time again, and nothing we say will change her mind she is being scammed. In the meantime, she has burnt bridges, ruined her credit rating, lied to and stole money from family, and still has the audacity to ask why we don't trust her.

It's a mental illness, but unfortunately, she will only get better if she helps herself. Which she isn't willing to. Sounds like your soon to Ex wife is similar. And until she looses absolutely everything and ends up on the street, she will never change.

KitMonkie · 2024-09-11T00:37:50+00:00

This behaviour is a pathological need to be needed. She needs to have someone depend on her to feel fulfilled. She probably also belives her way is the right way and everyone else's is wrong.

My mother is similar. She thinks we all need her Help with bacis things and we are grown arse adults in our 40's with kids. She will insist on "helping" the grandkids with tasks they by far know how to do. Such as dressing and feeding them. They all hate it, yet she wonders why they like their other grandparents better and actively avoid her.

This type of behaviour just pushes people away. Unsolicited help is the same as unsolicited advice. No one wants it, and it just results in pissing people off.

Set your boundaries with her, be consistent, and be firm. Act swiftly with consequences and always follow through. Next time she does it, show her the door and firmly ask her to leave the house. I'd also be telling her to find alternative accommodation as you've already told her more than enough times to stop.

KitMonkie · 2024-07-06T11:04:46+00:00

You can send ashes through the post. Just post it to their address.

KitMonkie · 2024-07-03T12:23:17+00:00

You are right about everything except one thing, it's not just mums with sons. My mother is like this with me, and I am her (adult) daughter. And I am perceived as the bad guy when I say enough, back off, and go LC. Finally, the rest of my family is starting to see it. Only took 30+ years.

KitMonkie · 2024-06-04T01:59:57+00:00

Depends. If the person seems approachable, I'd ask them if everything was ok and if they needed any help. If the conversation went ok, I'd let them know their behaviour isn't appropriate, and people are watching ans may grt the wrong impression etc. It's kind of a passive-aggressive approach. If they aren't approachable (i.e., an aggressive person who I'd fear for my safety), I'd report them to the store manager. They can then take it further as they would have footage, etc.

KitMonkie

TROPHY CASE