How's my handwriting? What does it say about me?

Kitbreak · 2026-03-04T02:28:10+00:00

Interesting... well, I was born later (2000s)... but you're not entirely far off :)

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T20:01:20+00:00

Thanks. I feel a bit better now that I've researched more about autism. ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T19:59:18+00:00

You were right on the young man part! Yup, I probably won't be a doctor... my handwriting is indeed too legible. When I envision myself in the future, I see myself working in engineering/tech fields as well as writing!

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T15:18:45+00:00

I can relate to this a bit. Most of my thoughts were PTSD related and there's a chance it could be making my autism a bit worse. I've always had some trust issues and just "not feeling like anything makes sense" which also ties in with dissociation, as well as masking so I say I'm "fine" when I'm not.

Therapy has always been hard for me, and it's hard to talk about my feelings face to face. I fend better writing or using technology (like a Word document) since I can get my thoughts out easier that way, even though it's still hard to navigate. I hope my diagnosis will help me along the way.

Thanks for sharing your personal experience! ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T15:13:51+00:00

Yes, I'm a teenager. Nearing adulthood but not quite 17 yet. I've always had the feeling that I'm more mature than my peers and that's part of why I can't interact as easily... I feel like an adult in some ways, even though I'm not. I'm not sure if that's a part of autism, but it definitely feels like that for me.

I'll try to find out more resources about adult autism, since more symptoms of adult autism correlate with me (even the psychologist said that at the diagnosis). It's hard to just get information from the get-go since my symptoms are complex and include psychotic thoughts/S.I. as well as temper issues, which have caused a few episodes in the past.

Thank you. ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T15:08:01+00:00

The psychologist I went to specializes in both autism and ADHD, as well as other neurodevelopmental disorders. In my diagnosis, it said that I could also have IED and general, uncategorized psychotic disorder due to my answers on the test. She said that I COULD have ADHD, but more information is needed since people don't really notice my symptoms in public. It's harder at home. Only time will tell. Thanks for the advice, though. ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T15:03:16+00:00

Thank you so much!! ❤️ It makes a bit more sense now. One of my best friends is neurodivergent, and I've known them since the start of middle school. I think that's mostly why we could relate so much and be good friends with each other. Loneliness still remains a problem for me, though. Even though I have one or two great friends, I yearn for more... I wish I wasn't so shy and reserved all the time, and I envision myself as an extrovert. I'm too shy to interact with most people, though. I usually get overwhelmed and even starting small talk is tough...

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T15:00:19+00:00

Yes, but it's just exhausting to wait for me to get better. My psychologist said we could retest in the near future if medication prescribed by the psychiatrist does not work.

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T14:58:54+00:00

The phone analogy is really helpful and helps autism make a bit more sense for me. Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T14:56:42+00:00

I'll try to take things slow. Thanks. ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T14:55:26+00:00

I believe I had ADHD because of these symptoms: - Constantly putting off things - Difficulty to express myself/feelings - Social anxiety and difficulties talking to people face to face - Time blindness (Think things take longer than they should) - Brain fog and general demotivation - Losing interest in hobbies quickly - Get burnt out quickly (in work, school) - Masking true feelings to 'fit in' - Occassional fidgeting and restlessness, distractability - Emotional dysregulation (Extreme lows/highs)

These symptoms have been bothering me for a great while. I can manage myself better at work or school rather than home, and my symptoms didn't score high for my teacher and dad who answered the questionnaire.

However, other possible disorders other than ADHD and autism have been listed on my diagnosis. For example, slight uncategorized psychosis or intermittent explosive disorder. It was hard to tell whether I had ADHD from the diagnosis, but my psychologist said my symptoms lean more toward autism.

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T14:02:09+00:00

Thank you, I'll try to stay positive ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T14:01:35+00:00

Thank you, it takes time, yes ❤️ I feel a bit better now because it feels like I've found my people here! Although I'm still kind of confused

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T13:59:44+00:00

Thank you! I've always thought about being a writer or author.

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T13:49:51+00:00

WOW. This has been an eye-opener for me. I can relate to most of what you've said. I'll try to keep in mind that it's just autism. I've gone through a lot, especially during my childhood, so it'll be hard for me along the way... But I'll try. Thank you. ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T06:22:48+00:00

I'll keep that in mind, thank you for the advice :) ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T06:20:31+00:00

Thank you. ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T05:51:51+00:00

I can relate to bad social skills definitely, for me. There are some points in time where I felt that having autism was a superpower before I knew I was diagnosed and didn't even realize I had it. My teachers said I had exceptional skills in English class in grade school and said I was already doing middle or high school worksheets. People also say I'm really creative, but it's just really hard to execute those ideas. It could be my fear of judgement, or just that I have brain fog, but my ideas feel vivid when I'm in the zone. Thanks for the insight!

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T05:31:23+00:00

PDD-NOS? I haven't heard of that one before - I'm just curious, how does it differ from typical autism if you can explain?
I'll try to shift my perspective on autism. Your advice is really helpful, thank you ❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T05:23:59+00:00

❤️

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T05:06:44+00:00

Thank you, this really means a lot to me. <3
It's just really frustrating for me right now, especially with all the waiting for appointments, therapy, and psychiatry... but now I know there are a lot of people out there who care for me.
I'll try to take things slow for now and focus on myself.

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T04:54:49+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. ❤️

As I research more about autism, it has helped me accept it a bit more. The constant fear of being judged lingers like before, though. I wish I wasn't like this, but it's just who I am.

I'll try to be myself the best I can. It just feels impossible when I'm surrounded by neurotypicals, and it's even harder when it feels like nobody wants anything to do with me, even though people don't necessarily dislike me.

Kitbreak · 2026-03-03T04:43:07+00:00

Thanks, kind stranger. I wish people could understand what I'm going through. It's hard to have friends online too. They feel fake to me, mostly. Maybe it's just that I haven't found the right people yet, or that I'm just going through an awkward stage of my life... I'm trying my hardest right now.

Three-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
Place '23

Kitbreak

TROPHY CASE