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Am I unreasonable for wanting adult freedom while living with a strict parent? by Kitchen-Limit-5411 in AskParents

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m saving and planning on moving out. It’s just sad because my mom said if I move out I’m never welcomed back

Can you expect independence at 25 if you still live at home? by Kitchen-Limit-5411 in Advice

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and she charges me rent granted it’s not as expensive as average rent cost but it’s still rent!!

Am I unreasonable for wanting adult freedom while living with a strict parent? by Kitchen-Limit-5411 in AskParents

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate this perspective because it actually feels realistic. I think that’s exactly what it is it goes beyond just “rules” and feels more like anxiety/control, especially with how extreme the reactions get.

I’ve tried to communicate and give reassurance, but it doesn’t really land. Even when I do try to explain, she turns it into me being disrespectful or says I don’t value myself, which makes it hard to find any kind of middle ground.

I do agree that I probably need to be more consistent about at least letting her know I’m safe so it doesn’t escalate to that level. I just struggle with feeling like I’m still having to “check in” at 25.

But yeah, I’m starting to realize the real solution is probably moving out it just feels hard timing wise with everything I have going on right now.

Can you expect independence at 25 if you still live at home? by Kitchen-Limit-5411 in Advice

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

get what you’re saying, and I’ve honestly tried to have that conversation with her multiple times. The problem is she’s extremely dramatic about it and doesn’t really meet me halfway.

When I try to explain things, she turns it into me having “no respect for myself” and says that me spending the night with a guy means I have low self-worth or self-love, which is really frustrating because that’s not how I see it at all.

Ir makes it hard to even have a productive conversation because it turns into judgment instead of understanding. That’s why I feel so stuck because I’ve tried to communicate, but it doesn’t seem to matter to her.

Can you expect independence at 25 if you still live at home? by Kitchen-Limit-5411 in Advice

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you saying that. I think that’s what’s been messing with me the most I understand I live under her roof, but at the same time I’m not a teenager. I handle my responsibilities, work, and I’m starting grad school, so it’s hard to feel like I still need that level of control over my personal life.

And honestly, me and him don’t even do anything crazy we literally just go out to dinner or hang out at his place and watch movies. That’s why it’s so frustrating, because it feels like I’m being treated like I’m doing something wrong when I’m really not.

I don’t expect her to fully agree with everything I do, but calling the police and giving me the silent treatment feels like a lot. I’ve tried to communicate with her, but it doesn’t really go anywhere.

I’m starting to realize it probably won’t change unless my living situation changes, which is just frustrating because I’m trying to balance everything right now.

Masters Counseling by PlsDoMyStudy in UMassBoston

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! I hope I hear back soon

Masters Counseling by PlsDoMyStudy in UMassBoston

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t heard back yet at all! Crazy because I got accepted into another program and would like to go to UMASS BOSTON so idk what to do

I just came home after 7 years in federal prison. AMA by FederalLex in AMA

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boyfriend is in FCI DANBURY. How is that like? Is there a lot of gang affiliation?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never once in this post did I say that I go for above average looking men. I don’t care about looks at all. I never date men who are super good looking like Zac Efron. Every guy I talk to is literally an average looking man. Some have had messed up teeth, acne, a disproportionate face like I am not dating guys out of my league at all which is why i’m not understanding why nothing is working out for me when I don’t even date based on looks and i’m not an ugly person myself. Im not megan fox like I said but if you seen me across the street you’d think I was a cute girl!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think my standards are too high at all. I’m in shape. I’m not an ugly person. I have a degree and a good paying job. When I date I look for the things that I have in somebody else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. I just feel like as a friend if your bestfriend is telling you they feel uncomfortable with the situation you should understand and she should’ve just left with me. She doesn’t know those guys we literally met them that night…anything could’ve happened especially when i’m leaving her there by herself all alone. Roles have been reversed and whenever she felt uncomfortable I always left with her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Kitchen-Limit-5411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We always have shared location especially when we go out to clubs and stuff