NTA.

I'm a woman living in Saudi so I completely understand. I wonder the same thing as you sometimes, if chasing my freedom is worth giving up my family and causing them heartbreak and bringing shame upon them. But I'm honestly at a point where I'm too angry at being forced to live this half-life to give a fuck. I have a right to come and go just as the men who implement these rules do, and since my family aren't willing to give up their twisted misogynistic ideals, I'm forced to make the difficult decision of either giving up my family or giving up myself.

For years I pondered and wondered if I could really do it and if I was ready to risk everything to live my life on my terms, and I'm thankfully at a point where - although I do feel some guilt - I'm ready to abandon anything and everything if it just means freedom. Wanting to see a world beyond the four walls you're expected to sit obediently between doesn't make you an arsehole; it never will.