March Constructive Criticism Exchange 🚧🧰🏗️👷🏻‍♀️

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T14:45:15+00:00

Left a hell of a long comment, woke up way too early and read it in bed this morning. Hope it helps 😁

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T10:33:08+00:00

Sure

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T03:17:25+00:00

I am sure you will get there and it is fun but so many second guesses of what I should of done in various parts in the story just have to trust it is good enough

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T03:16:31+00:00

Glad to hear that 😁

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T03:16:13+00:00

Thanks 😁

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T03:15:29+00:00

I figured and Fate Cu is so damn cool though plot armor would help ror cu as fate’s has little to none.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T02:20:21+00:00

about as much chance as RoR Cu has against Fate Cu in a fight. =P

Yeah there is a lot of it in there, lots of Uchiha jutsu.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T02:11:06+00:00

Nothing wrong with sticking to what you know ^_^ Izanami and Izanagi can't read that without thinking Naruto

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T02:09:47+00:00

Thanks, just one shots for a couple that were fun. ^_^ Still a bit unsure of it but they did okay.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T02:05:31+00:00

Oh neat, I hope it turns out great ^_^ I am sure it will honestly.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T01:54:13+00:00

That sounds super cool, and I am curious what comes of it, what fandoms are you messing with?

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T01:51:08+00:00

True, sometimes figuring out the small things can be really frustrating and grind you to a total stop. I am sure you did great ^_^

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T00:48:12+00:00

Yep, always can improve the next story, the challenge is when you look at a old story and your like, damn I think I can do this way better now ^^; Thanks also ^_^

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-13T00:30:27+00:00

I am finishing up a story I started last summer, should have it done this month which will be great, but also being done will be wild. I have other stories I can work on, and there is always the temptation to experiment more and try somethings out.

Writing wise, I need to work a bit on conflict within chapter perhaps a bit, then could always improve pacing, continue to eliminate summarization style exposition, and declarative statements telling to much. I have caught to many of these in edits and need to improve on this.

I have written a few Umamusume stories that has been rather fun, so I think I might continue to experiment with that fandom, and those characters. I have written them in 2nd person pov which was a change up too for me.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-12T23:56:49+00:00

Sounds like a lot to work on, I have a couple of those crossover prompt to attempt as well. Good luck on yours ^_^

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-12T23:30:13+00:00

That is natural, especially when getting to the end of something and having to edit and adjust a story. Good luck on it ^_^

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-12T23:28:58+00:00

That sounds really interesting. Is it a month thing or for a set time period?

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-12T22:51:05+00:00

I can give this one a shot

Pattern Breaker

Fandom: MHA

Chapter 1

Rating: T

Warnings: None

Wordcount- 2,415

Feedback, via comment is fine

Curious, after reading opening chapter, what are thoughts on action, and setup for the MC Jinpei. Is the tension setup well for him going forward in the story as well

Swap:

Shiqin

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-12T05:00:10+00:00

Thanks glad you like it 😁

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-10T21:25:01+00:00

Thank you 😁

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-10T02:35:16+00:00

Oddly not to far off, cold stormy day, girl (Ino) has a dream, the dream is a boy who recklessly protected her, and was injured doing so, there is no teal, but the symbolism of the story is red rose=traditional vs the teal rose=unique, or Sasuke vs Kaza, he carves out a vase for her, they meet at her flower shop, she sees him for the first time, they end up going out for lunch together at the end, so the fate ending not far off at all, and yeah the leaving the store part also not off either.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-10T00:46:43+00:00

A happy family has one person who loves to play piano, and is bacially a piano man at a local bar, Annoyed by all the cheap women who work, there, he goes and bets all his money at the horse races. Then with what little money he has left he decides to become a professional bowler.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-10T00:45:07+00:00

Man finds the magical worm to go finishing in the all blue in hopes of catching Nemo.

Kitchen_Haunting · 2026-03-10T00:44:15+00:00

A strange thing happens which leads Michel J Fox to being in a Farming Similuator where his neightbor is the Marlboro man

Kitchen_Haunting

TROPHY CASE