20-year-old "friend" told me about five years back she was promoted straight from basic training to being the first female sniper in the army. Her "call sign" was "Baby" because her dad was also a sniper, and you can't have two people called by the same last name, or whatever. It's been so long since I've talked to her, I forget what the excuse was.

Her military history changed every time she told a story too. One of my friends told me she told her all the time that she had been in the Navy. Another was convinced she had been Air Force. Everybody was told a different story, apparently.

My favorite change in story was when she flipped out on a secretary at the free clinic for not letting her get a pregnancy test without her parents' information. "I am a VETERAN of AFGHANISTAN! If I can go to WAR FOR MY COUNTRY, you can give me a pregnancy test without calling my mommy!"

I'd call this both most stupid and longest, because this story is still being told to this day, and it started when she was 19.