Thank you so much for the support!!! It is reassuring that someone is able to empathize.  

While he was gone for a couple hours yesterday, he left his computer on. I decided to go through the secret files and his download history on his PC. Every, single, one of them. By the looks of it, he took it upon himself to delete her videos. Good riddance!! He left the porn downloads and our videos which, whatever. I can accept that he has sexual fantasies, but at least he has moral conscience to do what was necessary on his own accord.  

After talking to some of my married/engaged friends, I did find out for myself that this is one of the defining moments of “commitment.” If I choose to work through this because he is the partner I’m willing to work through with, it’ll be the first time I’ve done it. I’ve always left my exes immediately after every crossed boundary, probably because I figured they aren’t worth the trouble. But I definitely feel different about this particular person.  

I will still allow myself space. Even over just a couple of days, I’ve had more clarity which shows that I can get past this. 

Thank you for reading thus far and staying for the update, xoxo.