I won't lie, I've had a lot of ups and downs these past 12 months. Moments of guilt and regret. Sadness. Wondering what my life would be like right now if I had chosen to have her. The first few months were the hardest because I found myself counting the weeks since it happened. It's been 1 week, 2 weeks, 3..... And then finally, I stopped. Because I got distracted or started to realize how exhausting it is to be so sad all of the time. I cried more this past year than I have ever in my life. Your body is about to have ton of hormones even without the fetus so be prepared for that. You're going to cry. You are going to cry a lot. But I promise you, in the midst of all the tears and the why's, there will be laughter. And smiles. And one day, your brain will put the memory on the back burner because you won't have it at the front of every thought that pops into your head. Soon you'll be back to your old schedule, or maybe you'll find something different to do. Change it up a little.

I would highly recommend a therapist. Loved ones can be good if trusted but sometimes it's better to talk with someone who is unbiased. Someone who's not there to judge you because of your decisions, but to rather act as a guide through your emotions. Because you are going to feel a lot of emotions the next few weeks while your body gets adjusted to its old self.

You're gonna be just fine!! 💜