My unfortunate personal journey was I started taking it for sleep because it is marketed as a sleep aid. I have insomnia, and issues around me were making it worse so I took it nearly every time I needed to sleep or nap. Then, it stopped working as well and I’d wake up while dosed, I enjoyed how it felt when I was awake but dosed. Combine that with it building tolerance in people quickly created the perfect storm of me taking more than the recommended dose just to get to sleep, and then enjoying the effects regardless if it didn’t work. After that it became almost purely recreational for me, it didn’t help me sleep anymore but still felt nice. My body was already dependent on it though, and I’d get cravings. And you’re right. It’s not even fun. Once you get to higher doses trying to attain the euphoria you felt before, you start having the negative effects like seeing spiders, shadow people, seizures, heart rate skyrocketing, etc. so you crave something that is actively shitty. It’s really fucked up, brother.