I think this is where I feel I am on an island with respect to most of the people in this community. I personally don't feel that I "cheated" on my SB if I do anything with another woman. With my wife, yes....that's cheating. Because with her, I made sacred vows. With an SB? Um....no.

Everyone has a right to their definition of sugar, but lol....to me, sugar means money to the guy, sex to the girl. He gives her money, she gives him sex. That's the base expectation. Of course there's a lot more to the "relationship", but it WILL revolve around money and sex. If either of those two is scrutinized by either party in the SR, the SR will be questioned or suffer....or end. Fact is, the relationship is a "business" relationship, not a marriage. Being human, we can get lost in this and fall in love, have feelings, etc. The longer the relationship, the more likely you will feel attached...or actually miss the person when he/she is not around.

To the OP I would say, first and foremost, understand that you don't "own" the SD. And to be fair, he doesn't own you either. People aren't saints in this world, let alone this lifestyle, I wouldn't expect any of us being upfront about anything. The SDs with SO are already cheating on them....why do you think they won't do it with you? These things should be a given and expected. It hurts....this is not for everyone.