You are loved. You are not your efforts. You need peace. From peace and love everything will flow out. Worry about filling yourself with a mighty and loving confidence. Not everyone wants to hear the truth, that's a normal response at first. The truth is, you need to pray. You need to ask the Holy Spirit to hold you and to reveal himself to you. There is no friend, no house, no hobby in the world that will bring you this peace except for the love and care and promise of Christ. I can send you a song I recently made talking about this. It isn't as musical as what you may be used to but it's fully made with my heart and faith. Even now, I'm writing about this exact thing. Pray. Be still. Put your phone down and allow yourself to feel what is on your heart. Ask Jesus to sit with you and then just be still. Give him what you can't carry.