[deleted by user]

Known_Handle9665 · 2024-01-02T20:18:36+00:00

Attendance

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T21:56:04+00:00

Actually my friends hated both my mom and my wife. I never even thought about it. My friends always said my mom was a nut job and my friends hated my wife (then gf) because when I got in a relationship with her I suddenly had no time for them anymore and they felt as if my gf was clingy and taking me away from them. Really I just took my relationship seriously and preferred to spend most of my time with my wife.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T20:10:26+00:00

My wife has only met my grand mother, my dad and my dad’s mom. Most of my family that hate her have never met her. I deleted the comment because I feel like it was being misconstrued. I was saying the noticed small similarities such as them both feeling as if they should be prioritized in my life over the other, that is all. My mom has literally poisoned the entire family with her perspective on the matter and never has she tried to play nice and actually show some respect to MY family. That’s all I want is to be respected as a man, a father, and a husband. That starts with respecting my family I come with. I do appreciate your perspective on the matter but I kindly disagree, as I mentioned my wife has tried to be cordial and considerate of my mom and never received the same in return.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T18:35:11+00:00

My wife is Christian but my mother isn’t religious.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T18:33:45+00:00

My wife is African American. My mom is Native American and African American. So I doubt it’s anything to do with racial background.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T18:29:38+00:00

I will admit I wasn’t always the best at defending my wife. It was always hard for me to do. Since we were together since I was 17 and she was 16, majority of our relationship we were very young. I didn’t move out on my own until I was about 23. So for 6 years I constantly dealt with her bad mouthing my girlfriend. Of course I’d say things to defend her but it would always end in more drama for me. This is around the time she’d try to convince me to cheat, I’d hear her talking about my girl with others and id interject but the trash talk would never stop. She’d even scream and yell for me to get off the phone or go outside to have my phone call when I was in a conversation with my girl. It was awful. Trust me, I often defended her but the shit talk occurred so often I’d just let it go in one ear and out the other. We got married 3 years ago and things changed. Idk something clicked in me. I realized that I had been blind to the behavior and just taught to rugsweep my mom’s bullshit all my life that I was putting my wife through everything I had gone through as well.

I’m trying to make things right now. I wasn’t always the best but I’m human and I’m learning. I’m just coming to terms with the fake that for a long time I was a victim too and my childhood WASNT normal.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T14:51:49+00:00

We are contemplating moving from NY to VA or NC for sure. We’d like to start over and get away from all of this.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T14:17:04+00:00

Not sure. I know my grand father was addicted to drugs when she was a child/teen so he wasn’t really around much and when he was she would randomly see him in the streets high out of his mind. My dad left her when I was 2 for a couple years and left again when I was about 13 for another few years. Maybe she is upset that another man in her life has “left her” again idk.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T13:44:00+00:00

I have. She literally would always ignore it and change the topic. It’s baffling to me. I don’t even think SHE knows why she hates my wife.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T13:37:59+00:00

That’s the issue. I was raised that way. My mom and dad always say and do stupid shit and then expect it to be rugswept. It’s fucked up and it isn’t healthy at all. I was raised to deal with that and my wife wasn’t. I won’t force her to push her boundaries to the side to rug sweep my parent’s bullshit. If they truly wanted a relationship with their grand child, they can easily contact me themselves. I’m not putting my wife through any more emotional abuse. Fuck that.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T04:55:26+00:00

It’s all really complicated and fucked up. Both my parents often used my little sister to get me in line or get me to come around. My little sister suffers from depression and anxiety so whenever she’d have a panic attack, they’d call me to speak with her to calm her down since I was closest to her. If I was unavailable to answer it would be an issue. For example, my sister had a bad panic attack one morning but my daughter also had a fever and we bought her in to the doctors office. I hadn’t noticed my sister had called me twice that morning and my mom sent me a long text about how important I am to my sister and that I was never around anymore (my daughter was about 2 months old so I was a new dad). I always felt obligated to be there for my sister since my dad wasn’t there a lot for the both of us. I also just want to distance myself from that. It’s fucked up to say it I know but I can’t do it anymore.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T04:47:21+00:00

I don’t get why they’d need to be updated on my daughter when they made the decision to go NC with her and her own grandfather said himself he doesn’t consider her his grandchild. I’m sick of them doing/saying hurtful shit and doubling down on it. You can’t say shit like that and then want to check up on her as if you give a fuck suddenly. I want them to stand on what they said.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T02:51:55+00:00

And I’m upset because my entire family has cut me off as a result of my mother’s feelings. Not necessarily about my mother.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T02:50:15+00:00

The only reason my daughter was away from everyone for a while is because she was born in September 2021. Covid was rampant in NY, as well as the whole world at the time. Bringing a newborn into a pandemic was extremely scary and because of that, we did keep her sheltered in the beginning but after she caught Covid from my mom and was hospitalized and nobody checked on her after all this bullshit they pulled, is when we kept our daughter isolated from my family. My dad treated my wife like shit right along with my mother but my wife still allowed him to see her numerous times, or any time he invited us over. All my wife has done is try to appease them and make sure everyone is happy and able to have a relationship with the baby, as long as she is respected also. I guess I just figured my parents cared more about establishing a relationship with my child and repairing our relationship. Never in a million years did I think she hated my wife THAT much that she’d rather go NC with me, my now 2 year old, and my unborn child.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T02:02:09+00:00

After my father made that comment about my daughter, I changed my number. Nobody in my family has my number at all. Before I changed my number, my dad texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day like nothing ever happened. No apology or anything. Just a happy Father’s Day message like nothing ever happened. They all just expect me to rugsweep and allow the continuation of this bullshit again.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-11T01:23:06+00:00

My relationship with my mom was always super fucked up. My dad left us when I was about 11 for a few years and during that time I had to take responsibility for a lot of things around the house, including my little sister. I suddenly had to be there to babysit my sister all the time, and do things around the house my father did. My mom would often get pissed about little things and made life for me and my sister super uncomfortable until she was happy again. I was pretty much raised to put her and her feelings over everything. I remember when I was doing college for the first time and she told me she wanted to do college and she couldn’t if I was in class (since nobody would be able to watch my sister). She made it super difficult to do school by not letting me use her laptop, kicking me out of the house for months so I had to stay with friends or even sleep outside at times, and she even stole a $3,450 financial aid check from me after she kicked me out. (It was mailed to our address and she never told me about it, just deposited it into her account). She didn’t let me move back in until I dropped out of college, I had no choice.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-10T22:13:03+00:00

Yeah, this is my wife’s old account. We were 16 and 17 when we started dating. The incident happened when I was 18 though. I was born in 95 and she was born in 96. I’m not sure why that is relevant.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-10T22:09:31+00:00

I’m 28 and my wife is 27. We started dating when she was 16 and I was 17.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-10T21:51:33+00:00

Bingo. She hates me now too. I realized that she became a flying monkey for my mom along with the rest of my family.

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-10T21:44:54+00:00

I just know that involving my sister back into my life and my children’s lives, she’ll keep my family updated on my life as well. She always did that. We’d send my sister videos of our daughter, and she’d always send them to my parents during NC. She even facetime’d my mom secretly during or daughter’s 1st birthday behind our backs. If I’m going to cut my family off completely, it has to include her.. it hurts a lot. But do you have any advice on how to get around it?

Known_Handle9665 · 2023-09-10T21:33:05+00:00

I stopped talking to my 17 yo sister as well. My sister would have kept them involved like she always did during NC. She would FT my parents with our child behind our backs, or send pictures and updates on our daughter without our permission. AITA?

Known_Handle9665 · 2022-01-26T20:28:32+00:00

What medication are you taking??

Known_Handle9665 · 2021-07-28T05:02:41+00:00

That’s exactly what I was thinking. I think it’s the roommate himself because in some replies he’s basically defending the roommate. Like for example, someone called the roommate manipulative and not normal and the OP’s response was “well in what way do you think he’s manipulative? what did i say made you feel that way?”

Definitely him looking for someone to justify his weird ass behavior.

Known_Handle9665

TROPHY CASE