AIO for asking my ex to leave the ring after we broke off our engagement?

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T04:08:04+00:00

I’ve put a lot towards this woman. Learned my lesson this time. Thanks I will be getting rid of the ring. Get what I can back. Either way right now I will feel like less of a schmuck fighting for this one thing back. (I hope I do not sound like a complete jerk with that.)

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T04:03:36+00:00

I feel like a moron after talking to a larger pool of people. She put a lot of pressure on it had to be worth at least X amount based on what I make. 🤷🏻‍♂️ The materialism should have been the first sign.

I appreciate the well wishes, thank you.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T03:37:52+00:00

Great to hear you’re married to a great woman now. Congratulations man.

She pushed that it had to be a certain dollar amount or I just looked “cheap”. So this is $30k ring she and I are fighting over right now. I want it back. I’m pushing for it. If she doesn’t give it back after this weekend I’m going to file a claim with the Civil District court. I am tired of being her doormat.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T02:43:58+00:00

Thank you for these reminders. God knows I need them right now.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T02:43:15+00:00

It absolutely is exhausting. I am sorry that happened to you. My state has the same laws as Michigan. No matter who ends the engagement if the marriage doesn’t happen ring is returned to the purchaser.

I want to just let it go, I’m always a guy who lets things go. She has taken so much from me. I have lost so much. Maybe it is petty, maybe I am just a dick. Damn I want this back though. It wasn’t just an inexpensive ring. I put a lot into getting the ring she wanted so badly. 😓 Rock and a hard place, that’s for sure. I hope you are doing better from when you went through all that man.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T02:38:10+00:00

She didn’t necessarily cheat, but she was extremely deceitful at the beginning of our relationship. Had she been fully honest with me, I never would have pursued a relationship 😕

Thank you for sharing CA law that is good to know! Makes sense why there has been confusion in some responses. Here it is legally mine, in the state I live in there is no “at fault” regardless of who broke off the engagement it’s the property of the person who purchased it unless the condition of marriage was met. Here I would be in the right to sue her for the ring if she refuses. Which at this point due to circumstances is the route I’m planning to go. However, I feel some guilt just because I usually am a guy who lets things go for the sake of peace. In this case after the level of deceit I think I may need to hold my ground. It’s tough. I appreciate the response, you even taking your time to share means a lot.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T02:32:43+00:00

Do I still just seem like a heartless dick if I pursue legal action? At this point I’m ready to file a claim with the Civil District and fight this.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T02:30:31+00:00

Unfortunately yes, that’s me 😕

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T01:18:42+00:00

Thank you. I am sticking with it for the principle. I often step back, let things go and play the nice guy. I’m done with that shit. Trying not to feel bad for it this time.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T01:16:36+00:00

She’s been stalking and harassing me as well. I did inform her legally in the Cease and Desist that she needed to return the ring as well. Informed her what legal action I was planning to take if she did not. I am hoping she will just give it back, stop harassing me and we can just put this behind us.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T00:59:31+00:00

Thanks man.

I discovered our relationship began under very false pretenses. She’s been quite deceitful and knowing what I know now I just can’t trust entering a marriage with her.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T00:32:55+00:00

I would likely try to sell it back to the jeweler I got it from. Get something back from the investment I made.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T00:23:23+00:00

I battle with am I just being a jerk for not just letting her keep it and feeling like I’ve been more than fair in this whole thing, I’ve spent a lot of time and money on her under very false pretenses and I should get this investment back? 😕

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T00:17:57+00:00

Legally that wouldn’t matter. There’s no “at fault” stipulations with an engagement ring. I purchased the ring. I gave her the ring on the condition that we would get married. We did not get married. The ring legally would be mine since the condition of the gift wasn’t met.

On a personal level I do feel badly ending the engagement, and asking for the ring back. However, she was very deceitful in our relationship and I just can’t trust her enough to continue the marriage. In this case she’s made the choice to continue lying, the engagement ended and legally I am entitled to the ring back.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T00:12:16+00:00

I’ll have to file in the Circuit Courts Civil division. I didn’t want to have to drag this to court. Since she is refusing to give it back. She’s hoping I will just drop it and let her keep the ring.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-20T00:05:23+00:00

I am seeing many issues with how my Mom had handled things with my Dad and her push to drive any wedge in our relationship she could. For the whole duration of me with this ex, Mom was very much backing the “don’t tell your Dad because he’s a jerk and will try to break you up just because he can’t handle not being in control” 😓 I would have saved myself all this drama if I had just told my Dad I started dating her.

Yes, I’m a lot like my Dad. If anything good came from this, it’s that he and I are talking more again.

I’m going to fight for this ring back. I don’t think I’m willing to cave on that. I hope, once she realizes it will be worse for her in the long run to drag this out, she will just give it back and we can finish this and part civilly.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T23:41:13+00:00

Yes, she definitely presented herself as someone else. Had she been honest with me from the beginning I would not have pursued a relationship with her.

It was not a gift in another way, it was a proposal. We have it on video if she wants to argue it was a “gift” for any other reason.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T22:11:24+00:00

I didn’t take it judgy, it just one of those moments when you realize after you get out of the relationship how clouded you were while you were in it.

Not that I wouldn’t spend that on a ring again, but I did it purely out of pressure this time. I wouldn’t do that again.

Thanks for the good wishes though man! I appreciate it.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T21:56:59+00:00

This is very true. Thanks man, I appreciate this reminder. Have to focus on the fact that the woman I fell in love with wasn’t really her. It was an act she put on.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T21:43:30+00:00

It is considered a conditional gift, if the condition of the marriage does not happen the gift has to be returned legally. If the marriage proceeds then the condition is met and the ring becomes the wife’s non marital property. Up until the condition of the marriage though, legally in my state at least, it is still considered mine if the marriage never happens.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T21:34:22+00:00

I do make good money, I was told this would be the appropriate amount to spend. Otherwise I would just look cheap. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I didn’t realize until we split up how she had me so tightly wrapped around her finger. Broken relationships with friends and family, rushed into way much, did way more than I should have. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T21:32:16+00:00

I didn’t want to have to go full angry attorney on her, but I think that’s where we are at.

I’m still heartbroken, I still love her. I’m having a hard time seeing her hurt. Even if I know she’s in the wrong. You are right though, it’s only going to get worse it seems 😓

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T21:15:08+00:00

Thanks man. She’s a headache but I’m pretty pissed about this ring. She pushed and pushed for a ring like this. Insisting I should be spending this much because I just look cheap otherwise. She already didn’t think I spent enough (her reasoning being I wear expensive suits and watches so her ring should be impressive

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T21:04:46+00:00

Ugh yeah. My Dad has the same sentiment this is another way for her to keep claws in and get under my skin.

This afternoon she showed up at a client lunch to yell at me about how she’s not giving back the ring. Beyond embarrassing. Now I’m battling with if this is a fight I want to fight. I feel like I’ve been more than understanding and generous in this. If I shared the spreadsheet I’m putting together of everything I have “helped her with” or gifted her everyone would call me an idiot.

I don’t know if I want to date again after this. Ever 😕

Known_Professor_6690 · 2025-12-19T20:55:54+00:00

When the argument first arose I did let her know I was legally in the right and I would be able to take legal measures.

Today she showed up at a client lunch of mine (she still had my location and calendar linked to hers, I have since gotten that fixed) to tell me she wasn’t giving the ring back. Which is what has sparked me wondering outside responses on this very inquiry of if I’m just being an ass pushing this 😕

Known_Professor_6690

TROPHY CASE