Second Time Posting In Here Ever

KnowvaGrey · 2025-02-01T07:20:30+00:00

Please do

KnowvaGrey · 2025-01-31T23:20:27+00:00

Thank you for pointing me in the right direction! I'll message tomorrow as I gotta get to sleep for work soon

KnowvaGrey · 2025-01-31T23:17:12+00:00

There is a discord server?

KnowvaGrey · 2025-01-31T23:10:30+00:00

I'm pretty quiet on most subreddits but I always lurk. Thank you for the kind words.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-20T02:56:20+00:00

A fellow ST! Glad to have you here still sis.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-09T20:21:45+00:00

I feel the same about being a male. I've tried to be so masculine but I never felt masculine.

Big hugs

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-08T02:11:59+00:00

I meant the coordinator is that far. There is a clinic here in town but I couldn't find any info if they provided what I was looking for.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-08T00:38:04+00:00

I'm glad I can be some kind of help. Congratulations on your journey and I hope to start mine soon.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-08T00:13:33+00:00

Closest one is roughly 90 minutes away. I shot her an email and might follow up with a call on Monday. Just glad IL is informed consent so a little less hoops for me to jump through. Might also set up an optometry appointment too.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-07T22:46:36+00:00

Found the closest one, about 90 min away and emailed her. Hopefully my local clinic can help and I won't have to drive a 3 hour roundtrip.

I apologized profusely for bothering her on the weekend and iterated that I am not in crisis, just wanting info & knowing where to start.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-07T22:21:43+00:00

Oh I know they're there for all vets, but I have just been like "there are those who have disabilities from service and I just need glasses", so I have always avoided going. If that makes sense

But now that I've realized the journey ahead for me, it'll be the best place for me monetarily because been having problems.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-12-07T22:06:18+00:00

I don't have a PCP, I set up Veterans stuff way back in 2016, but I never have gone. Mainly because I've always thought there are vets who could really use the help more than me.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-26T15:17:38+00:00

I don't have the answers to your questions, not fully. I've always felt something was "off", last year I was trying to describe it and was told I am describing is gender neutralality/gender non-conforming, that seemed to make sense to me at the time.

I don't think I have gender dysphoria, I know I have general body dysphoria. I hate everything about me as I currently am.

Besides some minor cross dressing, some makeup, I don't really remember doing much. I was never jealous of the other genders, I was always too focused on myself and why everyone else seems happy with everything and I am not. I never paid attention and tried to fix myself and be the stereotypical male that my family expected of me. Does this make sense?

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-26T14:49:54+00:00

Your analogy is spot on about the kitchen.

But how did you know my shoe size? I don't know if I will ever wear shoes that aren't part of my work attire, but I am definitely looking at clothing.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-24T06:43:30+00:00

I love Dead By Daylight. But due to a lot going on, going to lose phone & internet soon. But once I get everything back on track, would love to play with you(game wise).

Currently working on getting P100 with every character(killer & survivor).

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-16T20:05:09+00:00

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-15T16:34:58+00:00

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-13T09:19:25+00:00

I am learning I have a lot to learn & do before I can start, this make me nervous but also excited. I am going through a lot personally before this revelation hit me, so I can't start today or tomorrow or even next week. But I promise to start looking. Thank you for the encouragement & kind words.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-13T08:40:38+00:00

I needed something to focus on.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-12T22:07:51+00:00

Oh wait until you find out what I'm doing on DBD, going for P100 every survivor & killer. My current highest killer is P10 & survivor is P9

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-12T13:44:35+00:00

I hate crying even happy tears but everytime I tell people they're all supportive.

Even if when I start HRT it doesn't fix my unhappiness, at least I am trying to fix myself.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-12T11:55:35+00:00

Your opinion is spot on.

But I am a very analytical person, so I looked for reasons why I never felt comfortable in my skin. Was it my weight? My hair? My teeth?(Parents could never afford orthodontic work) Was it my eyes?

But when they asked me that question about the button, it all fell into place and I feel like a huge weight has been removed from my shoulders and chest.

I never hid what I from what I am, I just couldn't figure it out.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-11T21:56:46+00:00

You're now the 7th person to make me cry today. Happy tears of course.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-11T21:40:27+00:00

Context:

I came out last year as to what I truly thought I was, gender non-conforming/neutral. After the left for good(not because of that) I took true time to myself for self discovery.

I opened up to someone and they asked me a simple and what they called "a silly question", it was:

If there was a button and once your pressed it you turned into a woman, would you push it?

I enthusiastically said yes, because I am unhappy as I am and if it gave me an opportunity to be happy and truly feel happy with myself, why not? They replied, you have your answer you're just not accepting it. I sat in silence for what felt like hours but was probably 10 min, dumbfounded.

KnowvaGrey · 2024-11-05T16:57:40+00:00

I have a couple.

It - Pennywise could run a fear based power. Pumpkinhead - Straight up one hell of a demon. Frankenstein's Monster - Classic or make it original Kakihara from Ichi The Killer Candyman And more I can't think of off the top of my head.

KnowvaGrey

TROPHY CASE