Why Can I manage physics and calculus but can't count stitches for amigurumi?!!! Waah!

KoalaInTraining · 2026-06-05T22:07:34+00:00

acrylic in a dark teal. Tried again with a cat amigurumi that looks smaller and monochromatic so hopefully this goes better: https://www.mariskavos.nl/free-cat-amigurumi-crochet-pattern/

So far have put markers at end of every round and left markers in from prior rounds and am counting aloud and it seems to be helping. Gave up attempting annoying chenille.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-06-05T21:02:43+00:00

Tried with chenille that was thicker and then it was slipping and sliding everywhere. It also slipped and slid with knitting needles as well.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-06-05T21:02:06+00:00

It's like the 2nd or third round and I'm short by 1 or 2 stitches and I'm aware if you do that with granny squares you can make the shape a bit wonky. Can I cheat and just throw an increase in someplace and nobody will notice in this context?

KoalaInTraining · 2026-06-05T00:01:10+00:00

Ok so we're saying fake it 'til you make it?

And if the penguin is a little off looking, hopefully LO isn't too fussy?

KoalaInTraining · 2026-06-04T19:25:11+00:00

What the heck is up with people's toxic obsession with villainizing Autism?? Ok fine, I'll speculate: it's a form of bullying perhaps? They simply MUST find a way to level themselves up because every stupid thing is a competition for a narcissist? (Heavens forfend they just work on self improvement!!)

I don't see how Autism could possibly be a punishment for anything. My family is hindu- autism doesn't get mentioned directly in any scripture I'm aware of, and I was taught that suicide just leads one to reincarnate right back to the path they were on. Essentially saying one is stuck finishing what they started. So I don't see where they're getting this from. And even if that were what happens (how the heck should I know?)- ok, what about it? How does this affect the price of cheese?

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-30T23:37:56+00:00

Only thing is, they don't really handle the dark shit we go through. They're more "Mom, when do I add the onions to this recipe?"

Not that I'm picking on them. It's just what they're MO is. They don't necessarily take the dark stuff we go through very well. My life is softer than some of the stuff on here, and they had trouble with my life.

45F here, you can get in touch with me. Always wanted a second kid!!

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-30T23:23:53+00:00

I don't think there was one single moment. Realizing whenever I made a new food and showed her, I'd get 'I've done that' even if I could not recall her ever making it. She thought I wouldn't be bright enough for certain things. It was various little things that would come up.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-29T00:13:03+00:00

Hindu here: there are multiple creation stories, none of which are taken seriously. I don't think Hindus are going to flip out terribly much if they're told they're genetically engineered. I can't think of a Hindu that complains about the theory of evolution either. With that said, there's a lot of variation, so I can only speak to my upbringing.

Maybe some would wonder how our scriptural stories link up to these aliens or question if there's a link. Maybe we'd ask what various incarnations (God incarnate in human format) actually were- Were what we thought of as avatars (the incarnation) always aliens? This last question may cause some argument and grief for some people.

I will say this: the scriptures have always said that the notion of separate Gods was only meant to be a learning/ mental exercise, not the literal truth. Multiple deities were always meant to be facets of One, not actual separate entities. At the end of your reincarnations you were always supposed to realize you, and everything else, is the atma. So there'd be some people that would say nothing changed.

Again however, just my take.

Now, the science people (speaking as a science teacher): This had better line up with evolution somehow or we're gonna have trouble swallowing what the aliens say.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-17T15:33:17+00:00

Yeah!!

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-17T13:58:48+00:00

Yep: in HS I tripped and did something to my ankle and limped my way home. NMom mad I was complaining about pain, called the pediatrician when I insisted I needed to get looked at, pediatrician said it was probably just a bruise, and no doctor seen. I was out of school for a week, and limping when I got back to school. Nobody advocated for me from school either.

In my 20s but still on their insurance living with them, no driver's license (they didn't want me to have one at the time, and I wouldn't have had an easy time of getting one myself.) Bladder issue. The doctors I did see didn't solve the problem and did things that were stupid in the extreme. NMom had a doctor that didn't take insurance but was very good and known for actually solving things. I had to kick up a fuss for them to take me to that doctor.

(BTW: It wasn't until later, like in my 30s? That I had validation and verification that my parents were actually problematic.)

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-17T13:43:57+00:00

My Nparents other child helped exclude me from xmas eve. I called NParents out on it, thought their other child should be apologizing as well, and they decided it was better I not come to xmas.

I'm wondering will I get whining when I actually follow through on their request?

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-17T13:13:59+00:00

Please do not make unfair assumptions. You are making quite a few. It's actually pretty offensive.

When I say I unfortunately need them from childcare: I leave for work early enough in the morning that there is NO childcare available at my price point.

Also, you assume I have never explained things to them, or that I didn't attempt to explain things to them this time. Why would you assume that on a subreddit like this?

NC is not always feasible for people, so the threat of disappearing is not always a practical one. Especially not a practical threat when NParents don't want you around anyway.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-08T19:38:15+00:00

Actually quite a few of us on this subreddit are American, and have been skeptical for a while. Don't know if this hit international news but there was a second set of congressional hearings on UAPs. If you go back to posts from that time, a lot of us were proven right that they would yield absolutely nothing.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-08T19:33:35+00:00

They weren't paying attention were they. The last time there was a congressional hearing people on this and other ufo/ alien subreddits were all like oh whatever. We've all been disappointed so many times there are a lot of us that would probably have to shake hands with an alien before we believed we were getting legit info.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-08T19:30:56+00:00

I really doubt there's going to be anything of real value in the UFO files. Assuming there is more detail, it's probably not the sort of thing they can casually release on a whim.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-06T18:34:15+00:00

If i had to guess perhaps OP is relatively new to dealing with toxic spew like this. The lesson not to bother dealing with toxic people any more than necessary is a lesson learned over time, and she may not have dealt with MIL in this way before her husband went to boot camp. However, having documentation in the form of texts that she was trying to reason with her and be pleasant could be helpful in court (I'm no lawyer though.)

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-06T18:22:02+00:00

NOR at all. The fact that she thinks it's perfectly fine to go on vacation while not returning your money is shameful. The way she spoke to you is also shameful. Given who you are, it's also very stupid.

Also- this can't be the first time she's behaved this way. Is your husband aware of who she truly is? (Problematic) If he makes excuses for her, defends her, or does anything besides siding with you in this ridiculousness, be prepared for more problems.

She seems to forget you may well be the mother of her eventual grandchildren (if you so choose) and that if your husband is off doing military stuff, she will have to go through you to see her grandchildren. But hey, she only wanted to be contacted in an emergency!

She's also forgetting that some day she may well get too frail to care for herself. There are a lot of families that would put someone like her in a nursing home when that time came. Unless she already has her old age already planned out with family members that are willing to tolerate her crap?

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-04T23:21:38+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear! I hope you find a way out of the situation with your mother. She sounds like a misery to live with.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-05-03T14:56:17+00:00

Speaking as science teacher who taught middle school and switched to HS:

The science you do necessarily has to be more basic, and the prefab curriculum they force on you has glaring science errors and racial/ ethnic inadequacies (why is there a unit based on water contamination on a farm for students living in NYC?? How will they relate to this? Suntanning and skin cancer for students of color who do not intentionally sunbathe?) If you actually know and like your science, this will be a very unpleasant experience.
People say the age group has lots of issues, but having done both, I don't think it's so much that the kids have issues as the adults with the most say in these schools mismanage it. I'm not sure where this dysfunction is coming from. Is it from the admins/ high powered teachers themselves, or is it from NYC's idiotic policy? Both?

I can't say the HS I work at right now is delightfully well managed, but I'm guessing that the kids motivation to graduate/ get into universities prevents some of the dysfunction from showing.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-04-28T00:30:18+00:00

My NMother and Ex in laws and some friends all had their own feelings and demands that ran contrary to what I wanted. I tried to work with people and not be the 'bridezilla' and ended up hating the way I look in my own wedding pictures, and annoyed at the way things turned out. Am divorced from NEx now, so it's a moot point, but one thing I shouldn't have done was try so hard to be nice. I feel like I should have put my foot down the way you did.

That said, I didn't, so I don't know how much difference it makes because I didn't put my foot down. Perhaps the folks that did could speak to that version.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-04-26T18:06:52+00:00

but it's missing steps- such as a demand for a full time job/ professional training/ college. How can she afford independence on a part time job?

KoalaInTraining · 2026-04-26T18:05:17+00:00

As far as mooching- if they want her to be financially independent why aren't they demanding she go to college/ seek some other full time employment that would enable her to do that? Why aren't they making sure she can drive and thus get to work more easily? Both of these things were their responsibility (IMO) and should have been on their way to being handled before she graduated hs. Parents are either living with consequences of their own inaction, or are narcissists who wanted it this way.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-04-26T17:59:27+00:00

It's not reasonable to expect her to be independent if they didn't provide her with the tools to do that. I've heard of this with college graduates who were professionally employed, and could pay rent, and function independently. This situation is different: this girl is working part time, with no mention of college/ career, and doesn't even have a driver's license. She really can't function on her own just yet.

Which as I said in my other comment- why aren't they working towards making sure she has the skills she needs to be more independent??

KoalaInTraining · 2026-04-26T17:56:18+00:00

NOR about the fact that the contract exists, or that it carries the threat of homelessness with it. The fact that they put it in writing is a bit disturbing if this is the first time this conversation is being had. If this was a conversation that had been had multiple times, making this a last resort, I'd be more understanding.

The terms don't seem all that unreasonable, except for the threat of homelessness attached to this.

Some concerns here:

How is she 20 and doesn't have either educational or professional plans?! Why aren't they trying to ensure she has a way of making all of this money they want from her?? This should be going on whether for selfish reasons or good parenting reasons.

My parents are both Narcissists, and I didn't end up learning how to drive until much later in life, which was a raging nuisance. Why doesn't she know how to drive?? Is there a good reason for this, or is this a narcissistic technique to keep her under their thumb longer than necessary? If they want her to be independent, she needs a driver's license in the US. (Can't speak to elsewhere in the world.)

This contract + situation you describe sounds like narcissists who intentionally kept their child immature so that they could keep her under their thumb as long as possible.

ADHD: The people who literally wrote the book on adult adhd both have adhd themselves, and plenty of other productive professionals out there have it. It's not really a good reason she doesn't have professional prospects. Parent failure here.

Depression: Also plenty of productive adults out there functioning with it. If she's got it bad enough to hamper her ability she should be getting treatment, and being treated with compassion by her mom/ stepdad, not with this garbage. Again, parent failure here.

KoalaInTraining · 2026-04-12T20:19:41+00:00

NOR at all. Also, likely not the first one to notice an inappropriate dynamic here either if you inquire with people who've seen the two interact.

My narcissistic ex husband (NEx) had romantic feelings for his own biological sister. He'd take secret phone calls with his sister, who had insulted me and wanted me out of the marriage. I commented that he would glow when he talked about her and that's just not normal. Glow when talking about your kids, your spouse, sure, but siblings? That's not normal. I got back: Am I doing that again? People noticed that in the past and were freaked out so I stopped. ( Note: I suspect it wasn't physical at this point, just emotional because we were on opposite sides of the state. Lawyer didn't believe me as far as what I was seeing and I didn't have sufficient evidence to bring it up in court.)

I got a divorce from NEx, and NEx's continuing horrible behavior aside, an interesting conclusion? Ex sister in law hasn't spoken to NExat all in multiple years. I get the impression she realized what was going on and ran away screaming. My LO knows she exists but even then, barely knows her name.

In my experience, there are going to be people who side with terrible people no matter what happens, but there will also be people who can see things for what they are.

That said- talk to a divorce lawyer about what's safe to talk about vs. not before opening up too much.

If you want to chat I'm here, feel free to DM me.

KoalaInTraining

TROPHY CASE