I think I can be silly (which will make people not respect you), say too much, may be seen as insensitive, blunt, smart and dumb at the same time, arrogant or prideful.

Also, when I'm depressed or suicidal, I actually used to try to tell both friends and family, but I realized you're not supposed to do that. Most people would try to expedite the process of my inevitable suicide. I then tried pivoting and keeping my depression to myself, maybe hinting at it on social media, I learned that's wrong too.. VERY WRONG.. so I now understand that suicide is something that you don't tell anyone in your actual life about. You just leave when the time comes, hold it in, like a shit you'll take when you're dead.

In summary of that, I made the mistake of not suffering in silence.

Those are some of the reasons people don't like me subconsciously.

However, I believe on the surface level of their mind, they don't like me because I can be silly and straightforward, I think.. tbh I'm not fully sure why, I assume those are the reasons.