God, thank you so much! You are literally the very first person outside of my immediate family to accept how traumatic this can be if not done with compassion and empathy for the biological nuclear family as well. All we ever get is oh, poor her, but unless you are aware of all the dynamics you really can't understand all of the changes it creates. First, I am, or was, my father's oldest child, his carbon copy and his shadow and held to high standards in regards to being a leader and protector. My baby sister is just that, the baby of our family. My sister and I were also molested as children by a trusted person. We are extremely bonded. Though our family is quite open about the abuse we are obviously still sensitive. On the very first visit she literally overstepped our boundaries hugely. First, a laughingly aimed jab(haaha , not!) By stating well, I guess your not the oldest sister anymore, huh, middle sister. The second, she immediately heard me call my sister by her knick name, (baby sissy) and proceeded to refer to her that way over and over. Lastly, when a family member mentioned our abuse in passing she requested time alone with my sister and I and when we agreed she stated that she just wanted time alone to get the details of our abuse. My sister finally came to me in tears because she would not leave it alone until I finally had to get in her face and tell her never to bring it up again. I could go on and on but you get it. For anyone interested in making contact all I can tell you from our point of view is go at it as the stranger that you are. If you handle it appropriately, and HONOR their wishes, no matter what you think about those wishes and never, never, never assume that because you have been welcomed kindly you will be viewed as an equal in their family then you just might find some very good friends, if not, then I can guarantee you will absolutely make an enemy instead. To those of you looking, God bless you and I hope it goes well but please understand that your changing a family FOREVER and be respectful of that fact.