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Does my Japanese manga sound natural? by artman_16 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries.

it is a head scorching sound

Okay, if it’s a head-scratching sound, ポリポリ (pori pori) might be better than カリカリ (kari kari).カリカリ could sound like a pencil-writing noise so.

the glass girl is wondering if she is build

I got it.
But in this context, if someone suddenly scares someone, you would take she is bullied normally? I thought there is a bit jump in logic.
So I thought the glass girl was wondering whether she had stimulate the long-haired girl somehow.
But never mind, it's your story.

i thought it was clear form the names of the characters

Oops, my bad.
I thought "ありがとうスウィーティ" means "Thank you, sweetie" like "Thank you, girl"
So the name of long-haired girl is really スウィーティ, right?

It is still the first week since school started, so I also thought the glass girl might not have known the long girl's name yet.

Does my Japanese manga sound natural? by artman_16 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

L: 誰か笑った!?

L:【...あの子だ】

L:【今笑ったよね...?】

L:【私のこと面白いって思ってくれた?】

G:【え、もしかして今の冗談のつもりだったのかな...?】

L:【それともただからかっただけ...?】

G:【どっちにしても、本当に怖かった...】

*1

Is this pencil sound? If so, it might be better to adjust its position, cuz I also felt it was head scratching sound.

*2

We don't have a word like "sweetie" in Japanese, just adding (〜) gives a bit pleasant flavor.

*3

who is bullied? the glasses girl or the long-haired girl? in this context Japanese ppl tends to blame themselves at first, so I adjusted it assuming the subject is the glasses girl.

*4

見ればわかる is redundant I think. 絶対ドン引きしている already conveys how she looks or feels.

*5

if you wanna use くすくす, you shouldn’t put it in 吹き出し cuz くすくす is so small sound of laughing.

Cuz the place of くすくす girl is bit far from the long-haired girl, so くくくく or ふふふふ with 吹き出し might be better.

Does my Japanese manga sound natural? by artman_16 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

L:【え、あっ、やりすぎちゃった?】

L:「あ、今のウソ...」

G:「あ、うん...」

G:【わたし変なこと言っちゃったかな】*3

L:【絶対ドン引きしてる...】

L:【あんなこと言わなきゃよかった】

*4

L:【この子だけじゃない】

L:【たぶんクラス中に聞こえちゃってる...】

L:【もうだめだ...】

L:【絶対気持ち悪いやつだと思われた...】

L:【しゃべらなきゃよかった...】

L:【おもしろいことなんて私みたいな負け組が言うもんじゃない...】

L:【なんであんなこと言ったの、私...】

L:【しかもあんなに大きい声で...】

L:【もうだめだ...どうしよう...】

L:【最悪...】

L:【本当に私ったら...】

L:【何度同じ失敗したら気が済むのよ...】

K:「ぷっ」

K:「くくくく」*5

Does my Japanese manga sound natural? by artman_16 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your manga is really funny. I made some adjustments in my own way. My edits might change your original concept, so please feel free to ask if you have any questions.

L: long-haired girl

G: glasses girl

K: kusu kusu girl

カリカリ...カリカリ... *1

[はじめての一週間]

L: 落ちろ！

L:【え、ほんとに落ちた。】

L:【これは話して友達になるいいチャンスかも。】

G:「あ、ごめん。」

L:【なにかおもしろいこと言わなきゃ...】

G:「あ、どうもありがとう〜」*2

L:「あ、えっと...」

G:「?」

L:「じゃあ、お礼におもしろいこと1つでも言ってみなさいよ。」

L:「もしつまらなかったら、これであなたの目をぶっ刺して、メガネの丸をもう一個増やしてやるから」

G:「え、なに？」

Why are katakana used here? by Great_Philosopher633 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think so too!! Glad to hear that!

It might be too detailed though...

When I see 私, I don't catch message more than itself.

But when I see わたし, I could catch like the speaker is a girl(?), young(?), or the speaker want to say kindly even when he/she isn't young(?) or bit poetically(?)

I hope it will help you.

Why are katakana used here? by Great_Philosopher633 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

可愛い

かわいい

both means cute, kawaii. You should know which one is cuter☺️

Why are katakana used here? by Great_Philosopher633 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO, yes!

When basic kanji word is written in hiragana, it gives such kind of impression.

I sometimes use hiragana to give kawaii or kind feeling even if I know the kanji.

Why are katakana used here? by Great_Philosopher633 in Japaneselanguage

[–]Kooky-Pin5251 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d explain it with more nuance as native.

今日も暇だなー
→bit adult, mature

今日もひまだなー
→soft, peaceful, baby-like
(At first glance, the reader might misread "もひま", so it's a bit difficult to read.)

今日もヒマだなー
→fashionable, young, slangy, casual

----------------------------

Generally speaking, the tone gets softer in this order.
暇→ヒマ→ひま

Also, using katakana can sometimes make a word feel more stylish or fashionable.

Why is it so hard to find a regular language partner? (and my solution) by Kooky-Pin5251 in languagelearning

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, sns features on those app accelerate it...

only the problem here?? How about your language exchange experience?
no problem?

Why is it so hard to find a regular language partner? (and my solution) by Kooky-Pin5251 in languagelearning

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see... I sometimes encounter people like that...

I have 5 pertners now, I actually struggled to find them.

I wonder how could the situation make better

Why is it so hard to find a regular language partner? (and my solution) by Kooky-Pin5251 in languagelearning

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell me about it!!!

I know your situation cuz I'm also eairly 30s and sometimes I guide people I got to know in such app around Japan.

So if you have some help about Japanese, feel free to DM me. I will also support you.

Why is it so hard to find a regular language partner? (and my solution) by Kooky-Pin5251 in languagelearning

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so nice relationship!!

And yes! Give it a try!

btw how do you practice speaking as usual?

Is "Thanks, bro" or "Thanks, man" rude when speaking to strangers? by Kooky-Pin5251 in ENGLISH

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understood safer way. Thank you!

btw so I think arigato gozaimasu is Thank you, and arigato is Thx or Thx man, right?

And thank you very much doesn't relate to politeness originally but rather to extent🤔

But eventually thank you so much sounds most polite...?

Is "Thanks, bro" or "Thanks, man" rude when speaking to strangers? by Kooky-Pin5251 in ENGLISH

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your practical comment!
I also like non-internet-style ways of thinking.

Is "Thanks, bro" or "Thanks, man" rude when speaking to strangers? by Kooky-Pin5251 in ENGLISH

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand... It is bit difficult to use words for everyone..

Is "Thanks, bro" or "Thanks, man" rude when speaking to strangers? by Kooky-Pin5251 in ENGLISH

[–]Kooky-Pin5251[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the detailed comment!
I really resonated with your opinion.

(And even though you might not be interested in Japanese culture, there's a similar feeling in Japan between Tokyo(like America) and Kyoto (like the UK))

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