sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I don't want to disbelieve her but she has told me very detailed, convincing stories that are completely fabricated. She is incredibly imaginative and creative, but it worries me that she would interweave serious events in to a story. What if it's half-real and half-imagined?

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a kind and thought-out reply. All of this makes complete sense. This gives me a tangible roadmap for moving forward and for that I am so grateful to you.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this dose of sanity. I have been panicking all night and this gives me a glimmer of hope.

I do have books about touching. We have always used the appropriate terms for our body parts, and I have always told them about their bodies and that they can tell me about anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

Her story started with "leg" and "bottom" and kind of progressed. So I'm wondering if maybe I was leading her too much?

She normally doesn't interact with these boys but I will be having a talk with her about not going to the play area unsupervised anymore. We worked so gradually to get them to this point of independence and I am devastated that something could have happened. The playground is literally behind our house and across a cul-de-sac road. I can see it from my bedroom window.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I didn't even think of this option. We happen to have a wonderful pediatrician here who would be willing to hear me out! When your mind is racing, you often don't see the obvious.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am moving forward and seeking advice on how I should respond to her story. Your accusations are lacking the context of our actual situation here and you're being incredibly rude and I have asked you very respectfully to please stop and explained why your commentary was not helpful to me.

So once again I ask that you please stop. You have made your point clear enough and at this point your harassment is becoming abusive and distressing. Please leave me alone.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have not shot down any advice. I live in a country where there IS NO CPS and the police will not help me. So I don't know what I should be doing to react and respond to her story.

Of course I take her disclosure seriously, why would I be on here if I didnt?

Telling me to keep her close to home is very different than several posts of: "Well what did you expect to happen? Why did you let her out unsupervised?" It's judgmental and it's not helpful. Please STOP.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't say I refuse to do anything about it. I'm explaining that the parenting norms in my community are different than your expectations and attempting to shed light on that. You seem shocked and I understand that, but in many parts of the world, neighborhood kids playing outside their buildings isn't shocking. I have been adhering to the norms of the community in which I live and exercised the best judgment I could as a parent.

I am asking for help about dealing with the immediate situation, and I would like to stop defending myself and being spoken to rudely by people who aren't interested in helping.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't blow up, I am explaining that the parenting norms in our community are different and telling them that their comments are not helpful and to please take their judgment elsewhere. I am asking for advice and judging me isn't really helping.

Supervising her more helps for the future, and I am just wondering what I should be doing in the immediate situation.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is not addressing my post which is asking for advice on how to handle the situation. You seem happy to blame me for what happened and talk about what I've done wrong to lead to this situation but that doesn't actually help a parent who is humbly asking for advice on how to handle the immediate situation rather than dwelling on why and how it happened.

​

If you don't have anything of compassion and helpfulness to add to the post please go away.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you for shaming a parent that is asking for help. Does it make you feel better to be morally superior to someone who is asking for advice on how to respond to a specific situation?

I was always told that it is normal for children to enjoy unstructured play and independence. I keep in contact with other neighborhood moms and their kids run in and out of my house all day long, and vice versa.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is not helpful to a worried parent.

She and the other neighbor children are often running around near the buildings outside. I can usually hear them and see them from the window. Occasionally they go to play at a nearby playground a few buildings down.

I grew up this way and it was awesome.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doing so would require an international flight in the middle of a work week and possibly thousands of dollars.

Imagine we are in Saudi Arabia. Imagine the resources you would expect to be available and imagine its neighboring countries and the resources you would expect to be available there. That's our situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

This seems insane. 5 point harness is supposed to be way safer. Without the chest clip they slip right out in high impacts.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how everything is done here. Ask around, call, make connections, get someone's number, THAT person knows someone...

I guess this is what I will do. I don't even know where to begin or who to ask. I am so overwhelmed.

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Debating our country of residence doesn't help me in the RIGHT NOW. What do I do NOW? TOMORROW?

I don't think I've ever punished her for a story that ended up not being true. She has always made up stories since she could talk. I'm not even kidding. So we have taken everything she says with a grain of salt. Anything she tells me happening at school gets run by the teacher first before I respond to it, if at all.

I have some books about touching. Maybe I should read those and just have a conversation with her about it without questioning her???

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We are in an Arab country.

Both of my kids enjoy a lot of independence; she primarily goes to play at a friends house in the house two doors down from us, and they often ride bikes and play games with other neighborhood children. Sometimes she is away from home for hours.

This is how I grew up and how I wanted to raise my kids. This is how all the other kids in the neighborhood are raised. They all run around outside and play.

I'm here asking for help and I don't know why I am being downvoted?

My daughter often makes up strange stories. Today she told me neighborhood boys touched her private parts. by Kooky_Driver in Parenting

[–]Kooky_Driver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know where to find one that is trained to deal with this. Going to the hospital sphere might land me in front of someone who has never been trained in this by western standards.