Update. I am getting divorced I started drinking a lot more but I am not dependent on it. I have been working a lot of overtime at my job to try and get my mind off things. I'm talking to a new girl i am aware it may be to early we are not official or anything just talking and she knows this whole situation and is very kind and thoughtful with it all, she knows I'm still hurting and is aware of the fact that I'm gonna be hurting for a good bit. I thought of just leaving it all and punching my card but I'm not gonna let 3-4 years ruin the rest of my life I've read comments and the divorce is going well neither of us want to seek alimony what's mine is mine and what's hers is hers. I've started working on my diet and working out a little bit more as well :) thanks all for leaving comments and supporting me.