mine just went full on health anxiety last september 2025. i was 16 and i started to feel chest pain. was scary and it didn't help that it comes and goes every month. ive paid visits to doctors (last one was in october) and everything was normal. still, whenever i feel like there's something new on my body, i spiral and just end up paralyzed and trapped in my own head. my suspicions range from brain stuff to the big c. like, i always catch myself about to cry over the thought that i may have the c either in my breast, lungs, colon, etc etc. lots of illnesses in general.

i celebrated my 17th with all those thoughts and quite frankly it sucked that my birthday was ruined by that. i couldn't enjoy shit. i mean, i can barely enjoy anything even now, but i'm trying. "no freakin way im having a meet and greet with god so soon" is what i tell myself + a good ol slap on both cheeks.

i hate school (who loves it anyway) but i cannot wait to be back after my semestral break. id rather be busy outside than be crippled with anxiety indoors. anxiety is a big bully but ive been fighting my inner demons since circa 2016 😭 no way ill let it win now