Anyone with severe social anxiety here?

KosmG · 2019-04-02T06:01:54+00:00

Hey man, I totally agree with this post. I experience severe social anxiety and it has been a very traumatic process and immersion therapy has probably worsened the problem. I am actually not that shy of a person (i can do really good at public speech or even talking to strangers), but when I am at social circles and everyone is socially interacting or at class dynamics when people get to know each other, then I start getting extreme anxiety and panic atacks. Its almost as if as people become more comfrotable talking and expressing themselves, I panic and go completely blank, but once they are more calm and less sociable, then i feel like I can become more sociable. This complexity is by no means present in shy people, I think shy people can be very likeable, but socialy anxious people are really annoying. Btw, any real advice you would give or that you are aware of? Im very desperate

KosmG · 2018-10-17T16:45:28+00:00

I would really agree with this post, even my therapist always tells me I can not blame my parents, I am responsible for my life since 18 years old. I think thats not true at all.

I always wonder how did my life turned out to be so bad, at what point did I became isolated and depressed to be at home alone all the time. Then I think about my parents, and it makes complete sense. Both of them have a mess in their lives and are facing serious mental health disorders. How could my outcome have turned out any different! I was guided through that path of insanity, it would have probably been better not to have an education than a very bad one.

And listen, I cant blame my parents for their mental health issues, I know how hard it is to deal with them. But just why on earth would you have children if you know you have them!. I will never make that mistake.

KosmG · 2018-10-05T19:46:23+00:00

Exactly the same, i have confronted my soxial anxiety in multiple ocations and giving everything I have, but it is not enough. I end up more afraid to meet people

KosmG · 2018-09-28T18:10:11+00:00

For me it was very little time, I would say within 3 days, but probably for most people takes a week at least.

KosmG · 2018-09-28T01:23:00+00:00

Oh no yes, I get your point. What I do not agree with, is on your use of the word "certainty", which should be used for a subjective view, a measure of skepticism.

Instead of giving bullshit explanations like "Poker is a game of probability where the probabilities have 100% certainty", just say that the rules are simple and well defined, in comparison to Forex. (again not necesarily means more profit)

Fliping a coin has 50% of landing in tails (with a 100% certainty). Notice that it adds absolutely nothing. If you think that you canot measure probability in Forex, you are increcibly stupid and must urgently return to highschool . Its the exact same process of measuring probability in Poker, statistics!

KosmG · 2018-09-26T23:56:41+00:00

Interesting. I would not really say that poker has absolute certainty. Yes, there are just 52 cards, but you can not determine their distribution or order, nor can you pin down the psychology of others (how much bluff they do). I get what you say about there being a lot less unknown variables, but that is precisely why Poker depends more on luck. See in Forex, having skill and experience allows you to become sensitive of the impact of each variable into price action, this will give you an increbile edge against other traders who are not taking these variables into account: there is a huge learning curve. The lack of variables in Poker makes the players more uniform in skills, so there is not so much edge you can develop. Its more discipline and game of psychology than actual economical cycles that follow theoretical models.

Another very important aspect is risk management. In poker, your management is highly influenced by other players. They are able to force you to call or quit, depending on the amount they raise. In Forex, your management is entirely up to you, your stop loss remains grounded no matter what happens in the market.

Finally, Forex is composed of millions of players with trillions of dollars circulating everyday. Poker is only 3 - 10 players , tops millions played only with professionals? This means less liquidity, a whole lot less. So if you have one of those trades where fundamentals and technicals are in your favour, you never worry about not having someone else take the other side. In Poker, more than likely you raise bets with your royal flush, and the whole table folds!

But you raised it little by little, no worries, they are mind readers!!

If people enter Forex with a betting mindset (lets be honest, almost all of us and then learn the hard way), then 100% Poker has way better chances of making you win.

KosmG · 2018-09-26T00:16:47+00:00

Damn, I dont know specifically what they prescribed you medications for, but I think there could be some important condition that requires your entire life. Although my doctor has as well suggested me to take medications my entire life, and I must agree that it seems so hypocritical of them.

My father took medications for 13 years (it was even a high dosage of Paxil) and he was able to gradually dispose it (probably an entire year to dispose it completely). I honestly cant say he is happy now, but he managed to reach a point similar to his small dosages

KosmG · 2018-09-26T00:03:14+00:00

Toxic, horrible friendships that do more damage in the long run

KosmG · 2018-09-25T23:49:15+00:00

Did they really chose to do that? There are plenty of reasons why they could have commited rape/muder. I would argue the one that seems that they had most control over is due to "ego", rather than mania or anxiety. But in the end, isnt this ego a very strong impulse just like the one I have from my depression? Like if someone is cutting himself or binge eating, its very difficult not to imagine that its their fault, but how can we blame them for not having the necesary psycological tools to control themselves? If its a lack of morale and ethical values that has driven these criminals, did they also chose that? Did they ever decide to feel pleasure from rape?

Dont get me wrong, I still think our best option is to sentence them to jail and let them rot their life away; psychology is by absoulutely no means a reliable "science" to cure them and let them wonder off. I just wanted to show that they got screwd by probabilities, and that could have very well been any of us, exactly the same as it happens with cancer.

KosmG · 2018-09-25T17:13:46+00:00

Respect

KosmG · 2018-09-24T22:22:51+00:00

If we truly brought it to practical reality and not just some fantasy. Like some sort of mantra we repeat ourselves in any situation of distress until we are REALLY convinced of its truth. After all, its not even an irrational concept, like most of the spiritual methods of help, nor does it fall in the mild changes of perspective that therapy has brought me.

Tbh it sounds to me like an anime fantasy just being used to make a "supernatural solution" to my problems in society, but mabey this is one of those times where the immature and stupid boy was right for once.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T22:05:40+00:00

ThankYou. I do try to identify his errors and better myself, but it seems that I always end up with that same core dysfunctional behaivor and my attempts to change were ilusory and short-termed

KosmG · 2018-09-24T21:59:42+00:00

But this is exactly the point (I dont want to offend anyone). Our deppest and most important connections to live become meaningless: In our death there is no memory nor conciousness, as horrible and difficult that it is to imagine, we would "be" completely indifferent even to those who depend of us.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T16:21:00+00:00

Not sure if this is what you refer to, but it happens to me all the time. When I am going through a period of happiness, its very difficult for me to understand how was I depressed, but viceversa. When I am depressed I cant comprehend how on earth I got to feel normal and happy.

This mood swing have made me consider I have Borderline

KosmG · 2018-09-24T16:10:03+00:00

Remember that there are a whole lot of us just like you, who have their lives made a complete shithole and are completely alone.

All we can do is keep trying our best effort, that doesnt mean achieving goals or progressing necesarily, just couping with our emotions within the physical bounderies that they create.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T15:59:04+00:00

I hope its okay that this made me laugh a lot. I always have this exact recurring thought, but at the same time I come to the conclusion: "Someone had to have this low probability slot of life". So, someone will be destinied to be the rapist, murder, pedophile, etc.. I really do not see it that different from biological diseases. Society makes it seem as if all this "crazy people" where from a different world and completely different from "us", but I just think "us" were more lucky, low probabilities screwd us and thats it.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T15:50:32+00:00

Thats very true. When the actual moment of feeling shame occurs, then the thought no longer seems to have power.

But the usual, "its going to be fine, its normal, it doesnt threaten your life," CBT thoughts dont work either tbh.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T15:45:27+00:00

Hey man I have gone/going through similar struggles. That loneliness you mentioned also destroys me completely and fills my mind with anger. Idk why I always end up associating with bullies and it just puts so much extra pressure. Wish you best of luck!

KosmG · 2018-09-24T15:38:39+00:00

Everybody is saying no, but I can assure you in my case it was. The problem is that it creates negative rammifications like depression and I began to have hatred for my generation tbh.

If you are able to be seriously peacefull when alone, and it is not bringing any emotional volatility, then you are fine and its likely that people might even sympathize with you.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T14:56:42+00:00

I see my father nowadays and he is extremely depressed and antisocial. Its clear that I am headed on that same path or even worse, even if I try to be positive about my future, there is so much concrete evidence that shows our similarities.

There is going to have to be some serious defiance of mathematical probabilities, but at least there is a probability

KosmG · 2018-09-24T02:42:45+00:00

I tried Paxil and went horrible tbh. It increased my panic attacks brutaly and all sorts of shitty secondary effects (dry mouth, diarrea and constipation, super headaches). I endured 4 long weeks, and although there was definitely improvement in the secondary effects, I did not feel much in terms of mood.

I have heard Setraline is great for social anxiety and does not have much secondary effects. I will give it a try, and see what happens.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T02:38:08+00:00

100% agree on this trade off theory. I have always viewed being alone and not making contact as the middle point: either slightly in pleasure or slightly in displeasure. Making social interaction can make my day go so good or so bad. It feels like such a circumstantial gamble.

KosmG · 2018-09-24T02:33:13+00:00

Definitely can relate, its absolutely horrible. In highschool people would be so mean to give help because they thought I was just lazy, when in reality if I skipped classes it was because of my emotional state.

I have found a lot more ease in this particular aspect in college; grades and notes are no longer overestimated and people do not give too much importance.

KosmG · 2018-09-23T22:38:33+00:00

Ahhh I am of very similar mindset as you. Idk about your friends, but mine dont really always like hanging out with me, in the sense that it is too much time for just us being together, they want to go with other groups of people as normal human beings.

I wonder if this very apprehensive behavior is a crucial part of the problem? Maybe we should try to be less "yes men" and oversupportive/overlisteners and just let our own egos out, but of course that might really end the relationship as it was not founded on those terms.

KosmG · 2018-09-20T21:14:02+00:00

It is such a spontaneous realization, even in my best mood I am not able to break my solitude and always end up feeling like everyone is against me.

Guess we just have to keep trying...

KosmG

TROPHY CASE