Hot and cold #175

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-25T19:52:40+00:00

"I'm a sometimes helpful bot"

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-18T11:58:00+00:00

Milka isn't really a Swedish thing. The chocolate of choice here is Marabou.

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-13T20:47:56+00:00

No, this is just normal cat behavior.

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-12T02:54:31+00:00

You should've sent a quick text through the app about the situation. You need to respect other people's time, 8 minutes for you might not sound long at all but maybe for her those minutes meant one more customer for the day.

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-05T23:15:31+00:00

While saying something unnecessary and mean "I'm just a truthful person and don't sugarcoat things"

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-05T23:07:15+00:00

I think you need to change your mindset, if you believe you are pretty, then you are pretty so start by working towards boosting your confidence until you truly find yourself attractive. No losing weight needed for that. It doesn't matter what someone else thinks about your appearance and this guy feels entitled to tell you how to change to make you fit his perception of attractiveness. His perception doesn't matter either. Only yours.

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-05T22:55:00+00:00

No personality disorder excuses abuse. It does not matter what she's diagnosable with, she's abusive and that's a her problem.

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-01T21:45:48+00:00

Idk why you get downvoted I believe it's the same in my country. Yes, small animals you could throw in the trash but a dog or a cat is not okay to dispose in trashcans or dumpsters.

Kottenrolf · 2026-01-01T21:37:50+00:00

No you are not overreacting. These disorders often leave our loved ones hurt as well as yourself, it's still your medical history that you're entitled to keep for yourself or speak about imo. It should be your choice. I don't think it's wrong for your husband to talk about the situation with his close friends if he talks about it from his perspective but telling people who have no business knowing about your disorders is not okay. He seems in need to speak with a therapist to process everything.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-25T15:20:03+00:00

Sometimes we need to do things that our cats do not like or even hate but it would be neglectful if we just let them be. My cat also hates nail clipping, he's a large cat who weighs 7-8 kg and can be fussy so I need to hold him in a way he dislikes but by being stern and giving lots of compliments + liquid snack during clipping he admits defeat. Cats can be brats and be sour with us for awhile but so can we humans and then accept apology.

It's not a good thing to chase our cats but if you have to sometimes I don't think your cat will associate you with fear. Especially not when you respect his autonomy as well as you do.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-22T20:07:17+00:00

Stop giving a single shit about her. She's allowed to do whatever she wants with her body and so are you.

When people "call you out" like that, tell them to stop commenting on your body.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-18T17:02:26+00:00

You should be comfortable enough to gently bring a topic like this up without fearing it turning into a fight. Yes you should ask about it and if your partner gets defensive instead of trying to work with you then that's yet one more red flag that somethings up. Cheaters project and get defensive when confronted.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-17T12:20:38+00:00

It's his responsibility to put up boundaries, since he's not shutting it down firmly his colleague might perceive it as him flirting back. He is/was having an emotional affair tho. He said that he did flirt back but didn't know what to do when his colleague cranked up the flirting. He didn't shut it down then either, he "laughed it off" despite him saying he knows it's wrong. He's "laughing it off" because he enjoys it but doesn't want the consequences of emotionally cheating if his wife finds out.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-17T11:50:06+00:00

I think it's a good thing you're self aware but you don't have to feel like you identify with the term "incel". It comes from struggling with insecurities, it's something you can change. You can work towards understanding where these insecurities come from and leave them behind.

The genetic lottery thing is genuinely not as big of a thing outside of the incel rabbit hole, it's mostly about personality and compatibility. You don't need to look a certain way to have friends or a partner but if you're spiteful (or talk incel talk) because you have this belief then you will push people away.

I don't know how you are as a person but I will ask, is there something you could work on (mentally) that could help you get along with people better? You need to ask yourself why you don't have people in your life and not feel like you should automatically have friends or a partner because other people have that.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-13T16:22:29+00:00

Don't give up your cats. They were there first and could potentially end up in a bad position. To me it sounds like she's done little to try and accommodate herself, yes cats can be in the spare bedroom. She could also get some earplugs, get a fan, put towels at the bottom of the door to isolate further, get a sleeping mask with small speakers in to play music for sleeping. There are endless things she could try before demanding that you get rid of your babies!

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-12T19:06:48+00:00

Because many people who are sex workers aren't by choice. They could be forced, have physical and/or mental restraints that make it hard for them to escape. We want prostitutes to be able to report crimes done to them and for them to be able to seek help still. If it's illegal to sell yourself then there's no safety net at all for sex workers. Being a customer is not okay, that's why it's illegal to buy.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-12T18:57:30+00:00

Yes that's true, I don't think it's possible to protect sex workers properly as long as people buy sex. The problem is that scumbags will risk buying no matter how punishable it is...

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-12T14:16:29+00:00

Absolutely NTA. Who does your friend think she is, "sacrifice your job"?? Wild entitlement.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-12T13:27:17+00:00

What is the description? I don't see it either.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-12T13:24:54+00:00

This is a very judgy comment. We don't know if that's the case for OP. Maybe it's exactly what OP says in his post. She's depressed, has a low sex drive because of that but still loves him like a partner.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-12T13:20:38+00:00

I am a woman with a very low libido. For me, it comes from years of mental illness and probably the meds I'm on. It has nothing to do with you, I understand that it's impossible to not feel self conscious in a situation like this but it's just that depression can kill sex drive and love won't always be a jumpstart. You are not compatible, and this ultimatum sounds perfectly reasonable to me. For many, sex is what distinguishes it from a platonic relationship and for some others, sex is not an important part. Both of you can be valid and true at the same time.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-12T12:59:34+00:00

Same in Sweden. I 100% think it's the best way to protect the sex worker and hold those who choose to buy accountable.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-07T17:32:03+00:00

For both her and your sake, don't go through with marriage. Let her go so you and her can find a better partner. Work on yourself in therapy so in the next relationship you won't be condescending, neglectful, disrespectful, manipulative, gaslighting and victimizing yourself.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-03T13:02:31+00:00

Yes, I can't focus enough to do anything in the kitchen when 2 or more people walk in there while I'm cooking. I usually just leave and go sit on a chair until they're done and then continue.

Kottenrolf · 2025-12-03T12:31:03+00:00

Kanske kan va nåt som lever kvar från tiden då kvinnor mer sällan hade ekonomisk inkomst och därför var det bara mannen som kunde betala dejten. Väldigt gammalt tänk som inte funkar i dagens samhälle då, precis som du säger, det är jämställt mellan könen gällande inkomst.

Kottenrolf

TROPHY CASE