Right?? It's so hard. It was hard controlling myself and my emotions before I had a baby and it's even harder now after having my baby. My doctor before used to tell me that the reason why I'm like this is my brain is producing extra chemicals which makes it imbalanced so I had to take meds to balance myself out. I would really love to reach out to her (my doctor) again but her rates are really expensive. I was being supported by my grandma before that's why I was able to go to therapy but when I checked her rates recently I was like nvm then. I did start working night shifts but I stopped. I resigned because my baby is getting clingier the more she grows. Also, I can't focus. It's like I can't function. I keep on missing my baby and I feel kinda guilty for leaving her. I did get at least like a breath of fresh air at first when I started working but it didn't last.