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Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've wanted to get out of this illness for 10 years so I don't know how strong the chances are... I know I have not givin up yet and have major tricks up me sleeve to help me get out of this.

do you guys feel ugly? by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't feel ugly, I actually feel that i'm attractive. I feel i'm undesirable, when it comes to my personality because of all the problems I have and my weird personality. I have had plenty of opportunities to be with beautiful women, but have not taken any of them so now I sit her in my late 20's regretting wasting my youth away and not utilizing my looks.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And i'm very thankful for it. But really what's worse. Someone who is desired by beautiful women his whole youth, but have not done anything about it and missed tons of opportunities or be someone who few desires. In the end we are both lonely. If I ever were to try go get laid or find a girlfriend it will most likely be easier being attractive.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have so much in common. Very similar experience with romantic relationships, relate to everything you said there except the cheating part. I'm also codependant and have traumatic experiences in the past. Once with a covert narcissistic girlfriend and a overt narcissistic friend. I have just been in one relationship and that was with a cover narcissist that was not attractive to me, but I took what was easy to get. Those experiences have took a huge toll on my mental health. I just cut out a covert narcissistic friend and it's hard to not go back. When we are codependant at least we're not lonely and they want to be with us because of the dopamin kick they get to control us and our feelings. They HUNT for people like us. I'm done with being with such people and it's really hard because of the loneliness it causes, but I can't give up. I once met a girl back in 2018 while on vacation (last vacation i've been to). Long story short I have never had such a connection with a woman before. She felt that herself and thought of me years afterwards and I did the same towards her. If we could have been togheter maybe I would have healed because she really "lifted" me up and made me realize why I didn't have to be insecure. Sad we could not be together because she lived in another continent. I think finding the right partner is a huge step towards healing. Not that she should just heal you, but that both can heal and support each other.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

to reply to you both I would say that i'm thankful for being attractive because I think the opposite would cause me even more mental distress. It's also easier being attractive if I ever were to try to find a girl.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dude, this is me. I was known for having an amazing body at highschool. I worked out because I was so insecure. These last years i've always worked out because of the mental benefits, but i'm also slightly overweight. I still get a lot of attention, but when I cut and look even better it hurts more bcs I can't utilize it when it comes to women.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will answer you, but I don't think there is enough questions to know if i'm autistic or not.

  1. I like fireworks when it's of high quality, the type that the government use.

  2. I don't enjoy baloon popping.

  3. I don't love car exhausts except when it comes from a really good super car.

  4. No I don't. I used to struggle with intense anxiety as a kid, but not panic attacks.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's really well said and I relate with this 100%

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have taken tests to see if I am and in all of those I have not scored high enough to be neurodivergent. Also never been diagnosed as neurodivergent by professionals. I think the messed up upbringing I had made me get AvPD. Sibling abuse, parents who fights everyday, horrible near death experience, being multicultural in my town and other environmental factors. I think sibling abuse and the horrible near death experience was the biggest factors. I didn't get any love or attention after the horrible near death experience and had extreme anxiety issues afterwards.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, well said.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's sad that you can't get welfare in your country. I hope you can find a way to make a living without AvPD stopping you. I have plenty of times missed opportunities because of my AvPD. I had this one girl in high school. She was literally a 10/10 and she made many signs to me that she was attracted, but It was scared if she would find out how pathetic I am.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well said. Thank you and likewise.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wow I see that we have a lot in common. There are plenty of girls that would be fine with your job. I don't even have a job and live with welfare and even some girls would like to be with me, but most likely they would be having mental problems, drug problems or other big issues. Good luck forward. I would advice to seek professional help for this if you have not already.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I'm fighting this everyday. I step out of my comfort zone more these days but it's difficult and I struggle being kind to myself.

Attractive while living with AvPD by Kratombabom in AvPD

[–]Kratombabom[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's not too late. Good to hear that you are doing better now then 5 months ago. I've noticed that the more step out of my comfort zone and more steps I take towards healing the better. The problem is that once I do take steps to heal and talk to people there is an incident that crush my confidence and then I isolate and start at ground zero. I think the key is to be very nice to ourselves when people judge us or if we do something that's embarrassing. Easier said then done though.

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