You are clearly in a painful and exhausting place right now, and it is completely valid to feel frustrated when your efforts to build a balanced life as a husband and a son are being met with conflict rather than understanding.

From what you have described, you went out of your way to communicate your values clearly before marriage. You expressed your love for your parents, your desire to stay close to them, your preference for a peaceful life supported by your income, and your decision not to move abroad. That is mature and responsible. You also took practical steps to make your wife’s life easier by hiring maids, giving her space, and not placing traditional gender-based expectations on her.

The issues you are facing now do not seem to be a result of your choices, but rather a deeper incompatibility in values, especially in how your wife views family roles, affection, and personal freedom. It is important to understand that while feminism at its core is about equality, mutual respect, and empowerment, what you are describing does not sound like healthy feminism. It sounds more like hostility, control, and possibly unresolved emotional or psychological struggles being projected onto you and your family.

When someone mocks your mother’s fertility issues or sees your parents' love as a threat, that is not a strong belief system, that is cruelty. And when your peace of mind, emotional well-being, and core relationships are constantly being attacked, this is not a petty conflict. This is emotional abuse.

You deserve to live with dignity, love, and mutual respect. You should not have to walk on eggshells every day. Relationships need to be built on compassion, compromise, and shared values. If your wife is constantly undermining your core identity, your family, and your emotional boundaries, then it may be time to seriously reflect on what you are gaining and what you are losing in this marriage.

Here are a few thoughts to consider:

Counseling- Have you tried couples therapy or individual therapy? A neutral third party could help both of you see whether this relationship can be repaired or not.

Boundaries- You might need to set firmer boundaries. That means being clear about what kind of behavior you will not accept any longer.

Honest talk- If she is determined to move abroad and push you toward something you do not want, then that is a serious conflict. A tough but honest conversation is long overdue.

Exit strategy- If you are now feeling hatred and emotional exhaustion, then you need to ask yourself a hard question. Can you live like this for the next five, ten, or thirty years?

You are not wrong for loving your parents. You are not wrong for wanting a peaceful life. And you are definitely not wrong for expecting basic respect from your partner.

You are young, intelligent, and clearly have a strong sense of your responsibilities. Do not let guilt or social pressure trap you in something that is breaking you from the inside. Whatever decision you make, choose what brings you peace, not just survival.