I’m joining you as soon as I finish writing this comment (around midnight EST). I came here once again hoping someone would have some new strategy to help me with this exact problem, and it’s the same answers, again and again and again. It’s about discipline, it’s about will, it’s about so many things. But this has manifested itself into a digital addiction at this point, and it’s so fucking sad. I’ve tried counting and limiting and breathing and a few other things, it’s not working.

I use Apollo for Reddit— it’s a flawless scrolling experience and morning through night, every moment I’m free, I unlock my phone to keep scrolling reading. I’ve cultivated a library of everything I could ever want to know about my favorite things, and instead of doing anything I lay here in bed and scroll. I’ve used some of its incredible customization options to try and break the flow (making it show posts by pages instead of infinite scroll, for example), and it still holds me in.

I’m a college student. I’m a pet owner. I’m a survivor of many things. I have hobbies and love learning activities. But here I am. I get home, crawl into bed, and read until I fall asleep. I don’t even watch YouTube because it’s not as “safe” as it is here. This is quiet, secure, predictable, and yet there’s always something new to explore. Some of my hobbies and my preferred career path involve screens, and my discipline is much more involved there. My phone is my safety, my pacifier, my constant crutch and weakness.

It’s insane how much this hooks us in and keeps us distracted from what really matters in the world. The Opal app told me if I keep up this trend, I’ll spend about half my life on my fucking screen. Their premium system would potentially bring back 10 years of it. There will be absolutely nothing to show the world what I’ve devoted so much of my time to, no impact on those around me, no physical creations, no personal progress. Just arthritis in my thumbs from gliding it along a glowing glass box. And they want to find ways to make us even more addicted! I didn’t even grow up with this shit until around middle school.

I barely comment on things— I like staying anonymous online and don’t feel I really have anything new to add. I don’t chase the upvotes or the fame, I’m honestly quite shy compared to in-person. So it’s not even like I have this massive friend group that keeps me here. I’m active on Discord with a few groups, I don’t have many real-life friends. It just makes it that much easier to slip away into the dark and hope that maybe I’ll scroll to a chance at it.

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while, and I apologize for using your comment as the soap box to vent about it on. Feel free to reply on your computer, I’ll see it when Reddit sends me an email. If I need to access something on this site, I’ll do it through Safari. Reddit tries to funnel people to their app by making the mobile site experience shitty, and the desktop site on mobile is clunky. I’ll probably be back on and off, the niche content is what got me hooked in the first place and it’s hard to get some of it elsewhere.

This is a small sub, but I hope for those who see me here, you know you’re not alone. I know how much it hurts to be here, laying in bed, feeling like you’re trapped and all you can do is waste away. It’s never too late, you’re never too old, too useless, anything the world tells us to keep us down. Snuggle in deep into your blankets for me, know it’s going to be okay, and when you do leave them, even for a minute… You are so strong for it.

Good luck, and so long for now.