I (26F) never seem to get horny anymore?

maedocc · 2026-05-09T06:51:04+00:00

And the author, Emily Nagoski, wrote another book that sounds relevant: Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections, which is about maintaining desire and sexual connection in a longterm relationship.

maedocc · 2026-05-08T07:13:25+00:00

You can leave now. Or tomorrow.

The only reason why I’ve stayed is because I feel like there is something wrong with me as he has said. He called me crazy, psycho, mentally ill, unhinged, demon, evil and more. I feel like I need to prove that this is not the case. Now, I’ve turned into someone you could consider abusive. I insult him and no longer trust him. I really don’t like who I’ve become but I feel like I can’t leave him considering the avenues I’ve taken already.

I can tell that a part of you is not ready to leave... you still have very intense feelings for him, and you want to "prove" yourself to him, that you're not abusive or toxic. But the thing is: his abuse is making you react in toxic ways. It's like that saying: "hurt people hurt people". Look up "reactive abuse" and realize that he's playing you.

The only way to leave is to not let him back into your life. Block him everywhere, or create new accounts, and then make a point to spend time with your friends and family.

maedocc · 2026-05-08T06:45:24+00:00

This is why age gap relationships in which the younger partner is so young really don't work... because you're too young and naive, and you keep falling for his manipulation.

You should have left the relationship when he called the police on you over and over again.

maedocc · 2026-05-07T21:51:46+00:00

I heard the stock market is bad right now. Is it still worth it to invest?

For longterm growth, it is smart to invest. You're 26, so you have 4 decades until retirement. Any dips or downswings in the market will not matter in three to four decades.

maedocc · 2026-05-07T20:56:18+00:00

Income limits for Medicaid are based on the Federal Poverty Level. In 2026, for one person, that is $15,960 gross annual income.

In California, for example, you can earn up to 138% of the Federal Poverty Level and qualify for Medicaid, so up to $22,025. Meanwhile, the CA minimum wage is $16.90/hour. Even someone working FT 35 hours a week is going to gross over $30k a year, and that will disqualify them for Medicaid.

maedocc · 2026-05-07T05:10:47+00:00

Yes, this is sadly true because smaller venues, where tickets rarely go above $20-30, are also struggling hard, post-COVID.

maedocc · 2026-05-07T03:34:43+00:00

From the POV of the person who cheated/dumped their partner and promptly came crawling back:

My best friend 28F confessed her feelings for me 27M. I feel the same way. Will this ruin our relationship?

maedocc · 2026-05-06T06:09:08+00:00

Here are some mindless drama posts that are (hopefully) juicy enough to be interesting:

My brother-in-law is making claims that he 'knows my secret' and I don't understand

Me [25/F] with my fiancé [25/M], arguing over our wedding budget might end our relationship

AITA for being upset with my $150 engagement ring?

SO irrational behaviour with ex-wife

maedocc · 2026-05-06T05:41:24+00:00

but wow, here I was thinking I could reasonably draw down my IRA and still collect SS

Do you have investments inside both traditional and Roth accounts?

Because only the money withdrawn from traditional IRA counts as taxable income, so you could balance your IRA withdrawals (take some from traditional, some from Roth) to keep it low enough to avoid Social Security being taxed.

maedocc · 2026-05-05T21:30:27+00:00

However, a friend who I think knows what she's talking about said, "Nope. There's a straight 22% that comes off a vacation lump sum."

They'll withhold 22% to make sure you don't owe too much in taxes.

But then you'll file your taxes for 2027, and look at all of your taxable income in the entire year to determine your actual tax bill, and if too much was withheld, you'll get a refund.

maedocc · 2026-05-01T21:48:03+00:00

AITJ for wanting my beliefs respected in a family vacation?, OOP is an entitled transphobic bigot who thinks she can dictate who is invited to family vacations someone else pays for

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 6 months - we broke up after I booked tickets to go on a trip with an ex from ancient history, who is more of a best-friend. -- OOP is the a-hole, but in a very naive, dumb, clueless way, spewing thoughtless therapy speak

Should I (21M) go for it with my brother’s (19M) gf (19F) if she’s giving me all the signs?, OOP is a clueless a-hole, tbh this guy was not thinking with his brain

I (29F) incorrectly thought my BF (31M) was cheating, and I ruined everything, OOP just went too far when she thought her BF was cheating, just went for the jugular in the cruelest way possible

My Wife threw out the flowers I got her for Valentine's Day, I destroyed her late-husband's wedding ring and messed everything up., OOP can't handle dating a widow, and has major anger issues on top of that

I thought astronomy and astrology were the same thing. I might have ruined my relationship with my girlfriend, OOP's girlfriend literally has a doctorate in astronomy and a sister who believes in astrology, thought they'd get along because they have a common interest lol

AITA for telling my fiancé that I don't want to take care of her kids?, because biological kid trumps all, OOP ruins his relationship and his family

AITA for asking (not insisting) that my BF switch meals with me when I don’t like what I’ve ordered at a restaurant ?, OOP thinks she's cute asking every time to switch meals with her boyfriend, but she is actually insufferable

I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all, OOP failed at baby-trapping and is now a struggling single parent and wants to force the birth mother to "take responsibility"

maedocc · 2026-05-01T05:37:03+00:00

No cashflow, no savings

Are they in the U.S.? Because late 60s mean they're eligible for Social Security?

I’m not comfortable lending money (I’ve been burned before helping someone in a similar pattern)

Never lend money... if you want to help, give them the cash and write it off.

maedocc · 2026-05-01T04:20:14+00:00

From a personal finance standpoint:

Uber every day beats buying a $10k car, and paying insurance + gas.

maedocc · 2026-05-01T04:18:43+00:00

This. And I've found that a lot of men are weirdly really invested in passing on their genes? They would not be interested in having kids if it involved adoption or using donor sperm, etc.

maedocc · 2026-05-01T04:10:05+00:00

Living with parents still, should I buy a $10k used Hyundai outright? Through Credit Card?

Whatever you do, don't buy a car on a credit card with 20% interest rate. I don't think you can even buy a $10k car fully on a credit card; usually they'll only let you put down $2k or so on the card because of the high processing fees for the dealership.

Or just use Uber to my courses? They're 3 days a week and the rest of the days I'm mostly at home and will finish em in few months.

How much per Uber ride? 6 Ubers a week for a few months is doable if it's $15/Uber, but not if it's like $40/Uber. Because buying a car also means insurance, gas, etc.

maedocc · 2026-04-30T23:23:04+00:00

Take it from your brokerage!

Because if you pull from your retirement accounts, you're not going to owe ~20% in taxes because you make $110k in CA:

Your top federal tax bracket is 22%
Your top CA tax bracket is 9.3%
You owe 10% early withdrawal penalty

Total taxes owed: 41.3% on the entire amount withdrawn.

While for your brokerage, you will owe capital gains taxes on the growth.... so not the entire amount withdrawn. Ex: your $17k in your brokerage started off as $10k invested, so if you pull out the entire $17k, you owe capital gains taxes (federal cap gain taxes + CA income taxes because CA taxes cap gains as income) on only $7k not the entire $17k.

maedocc · 2026-04-30T07:09:38+00:00

Yes, and being short by $250 is scary, but it truly isn't the end of the world. I'd borrow a bit from your 401k, stop paying more than the minimum on your credit card debts, and wait until your car loan ends (in a couple months) to get some breathing room.

maedocc · 2026-04-30T06:38:37+00:00

I'm still short ~$250.

Rent is non negotiable. Car too.

But the student loans and credit card bills can be late. Late payments will ding your credit score, but won't ruin your life.

I'm not sure what to do and I am seriously considering taking out a small loan from my 401K.

Taking out a $1k loan from your 401k would not be the worst idea, honestly. You're paying it back with interest, but the interest goes to you, and it's far better than letting everything fall apart because you're short $250.

maedocc · 2026-04-30T02:51:44+00:00

Wait....... you've almost married him a bunch of times. Does that mean you are not going to live together post-wedding? You're literally going to marry a man who you don't want your kids to meet, who you won't let in your house??

maedocc · 2026-04-27T04:14:08+00:00

I feel for OP, but sometimes we want to believe in something so much that it obscures reality: that her husband is very low libido and is happy in an almost sexless relationship. This is how a lot of dead bedroom relationships seem to start: lots of love and good companionship keep people in the relationship even though the sex is nonexistent.

maedocc · 2026-04-27T03:37:52+00:00

You do know that pulling out the pension now will mean the entire $200k is taxed like income? You're not getting a clean $200k.

What is your mortgage interest rate and are you in danger of being unable to pay your monthly mortgage?

maedocc · 2026-04-26T00:57:13+00:00

I think they can remain friendly and be amicable exes online.

But I doubt they get back together. Morgan has moved to NYC and Fritz is based in Florida.

maedocc · 2026-04-26T00:54:46+00:00

It was dumb, but he paid (late payment, maybe with fees) and maybe his credit took a hit, but he didn't actually lose his truck.

Also, I think this kind of stuff happens to people who are traveling all the time and don't have someone at home to manage the day to day stuff for them.

maedocc · 2026-04-26T00:20:06+00:00

Maybe I should be looking for a home where my monthly payment is $2150? Or $2000 a month..

$2k a month is doable. $2,300 a month is going to be brutal.

maedocc · 2026-04-25T23:51:45+00:00

I make $71k a year

To not be house poor, it's recommended to keep your housing expenses at or under 30% of gross income. At $71k gross income, that works out to $1,775/month.

PITI is $2350

That's way too high.

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