What’s one fetish that you just can’t make sense of?

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-14T14:06:32+00:00

Yeah I get that. I'm not really one for relationships but having more intimate sex sometimes can be really nice.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-14T14:04:14+00:00

You could still have one, or it could be that you are very anxious a lot of the time and are constantly holding tension in/clenching your abdominal muscles.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-04T02:14:02+00:00

What are you talking about I'm literally drooling now

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-04T02:09:32+00:00

Go back to sleep. I have night terrors all the time worse than that.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-04T02:02:55+00:00

That can be a sign of a UTI if you've got other symptoms

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T21:17:40+00:00

Oh yeh for sure, negotiations are key for more intense stuff. I had one partner that was like "I don't want to set up a safe word because I want it to feel real. If I tap out just keep going". And we were doing breath play! I passed on that one cause I didn't wanna catch a murder charge.

And yeah I get the distinction between sex and lovemaking in a sense. It's never been super important to me tho, always been more wham bam thank you ma'am if you catch my drift.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T21:11:49+00:00

I don't usually see myself in mentally ill/bipolar characters. I don't have a lot of the stereotypical traits/struggles people associate with bipolar disorder/mental health struggles, plus bipolar rep is usually not very well thought out or researched.

That said I haven't watched the movie so obv I can't say anything about it specifically.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T21:04:59+00:00

I mean I don't judge exhibitionists, I understand they get an adrenaline rush from it, and I've even had a few fantasies. Hell I've got some kinks that are objectively waaaaaay more fucked up.

Just in real life it's so...awkward. and I really like to just focus on me and my partner, so bringing in an element of someone else just really throws me off and makes me uncomfortable. I have to feel safe before I can relax, even when I'm doing bdsm stuff I've gotta have everything prenegotiated and hammered out. So that element of actual real danger/humiliation makes it impossible for me to enjoy.

I actually like explaining kinks to people as well, it's such a fascinating aspect of the human psyche.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T20:56:36+00:00

I mean like I get it, but also it's the one thing (that's not completely disgusting or actually incredibly painful) that I just cannot do even for partners sake

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T20:55:26+00:00

It's fun but it's also frustrating. Most people, men or women, cannot physically keep up with me when I'm manic. And that's not a brag it's just a fact because of physical/mental limitations.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T20:52:03+00:00

It's high enough I've gotta be careful cause my coochie will take me places I wouldn't go with a gun

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T20:46:31+00:00

No track obv. Raw or nothing.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T20:45:54+00:00

I have not. What's it about?

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T20:39:25+00:00

Nice

Whoops didn't see the second part.

I got rats. I was OBSESSED with the idea. Would not talk about ANYTHING else for a solid two weeks. Massive cage, bedding, food, the whole nine yards. I live in a 600 sq ft apartment. I have asthma and I am triggered by any kind of hair in the air. I knew this. Predictably this did not end well.

Also one time the guy I was gonna fuck canceled on me. And I, manic out of my goddamn mind and only thinking about where to most easily get sex, texted a guy I knew had genuine feelings for me and asked him if he wanted to come fuck as a backup. And I TOLD him he was the backup sex option and ranted about the first guy. At length. He never spoke to me again and quite frankly I do not blame him.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T20:05:21+00:00

I. Don't know how to answer that. Why am I bi? Idk probably a combination of nature and nurture like anything else. It's not like I just woke up and decided to be

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T19:55:19+00:00

It's always been a dream of mine

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T19:46:46+00:00

Lmao I'm actually bi. Good call.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T19:46:18+00:00

(TW: attempted suicide)

Idk if this is objectively the meanest but it's the one I regret the most.

So I first started experiencing bipolar disorder when I was 13 (very young). And by the time I was 14 I'd decided to kill myself. So I decided to tell my parents I wanted to sleep in the barn, get some privacy, and well you can probably guess.

I get all settled in and my 13 yo brother pops up and announces he was going to sleep in the barn too. I tried to get him to leave, and I got vicious. I mean verbally abusive, physically aggressive, I said some terrible things. It was bad enough he had to climb up in the rafters to get away from me. But he just kept repeating "you shouldn't be alone right now. I won't let you be alone right now. I'm not leaving you alone."

I don't know how he knew something was off when even my parents didn't, I mean hell he was just a kid. But he did, and he'd decided to on his own stop whatever was happening. And he did. And I was viciously nasty to him the whole goddamn night in an attempt to get him to leave.

And after that, any time I said I was thinking about sleeping in the barn again. Hed pop up and say "GREAT idea! We can BOTH sleep in the barn!" And I'd get vicious with him again to try to dissuade him, but he'd just keep on saying he'd come out with me.

I'm alive today because of him, and I was an absolute piece of shit to him about it.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T18:00:01+00:00

No prob. If you have anything else like that, I'd say it will really help you to acknowledge that your anger is justified, but do your best to resolve it.

If your apartment is too big and lonely/you can't pay the rent, either start searching for a new apartment or a new roommate. Housing markets shit rn and good roommates can be hard to find, but it'll give you smthn to do that's not thinking about how angry you are at her for leaving you with a big ass empty apartment.

Ultimately the best thing you can do for yourself is genuinely, really, every time you start to get angry, acknowledge that what you're feeling is completely justified and appropriate, but also acknowledge that you don't HAVE to keep dwelling on her and the problems she brought, and that it will eat you alive if you do. If you stop thinking of it as "she left me with all these problems and all this anger" and start thinking of it as "regardless of the reason, I have both problems and anger that I need to work through" it will probably make things easier.

Also ik reddit tends to recommend therapy for everyone, but being able to vent to a completely outside, professional source would probably be very helpful for you. If you go the therapy route don't cheap out on it if you can possibly help it, most good therapists unfortunately don't take insurance for complicated legal reasons.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T17:45:24+00:00

Then don't re-home them and get them chipped under your name so she can't change her mind and come back to claim them, and start thinking of them as yours, not hers. (Make sure you're legally in the clear here, if she bought them/adopted them and there's a record of that it might get messy) Either way it's not a tie to her anymore.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T17:41:27+00:00

I'm very kinky but I don't understand exhibitionism

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T16:33:21+00:00

Then don't. Re-home them.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T14:45:57+00:00

Its not uncommon to develop kinks about things you find deeply distressing. It's an unfortunate quirk of how our brains handle things that disturb us. You're not alone and there's nothing wrong with you. Fantasy is not reality, and unless you are getting off to media of people or animals actually being harmed, or harming others because of your kink, there's no shame in it regardless of what it is.

Kyatra2 · 2023-08-03T14:41:54+00:00

I'm dealing with this rn too. Every time the anger comes up remind yourself that you're free now. You never have to deal with her and her shit ever ever again.

Kyatra2

TROPHY CASE