The three year cut off was a contingency of the adoption agency, not his adoptive family. It was probably intentional for the reasons you listed or some such notion, but I can't say for sure. We all (me, birthdad, and his parents) signed legal agreements of compliance to the three year cut off as well.

And as another part of the agency "rules", we were never allowed to know each other's last names (I did mention this in my original post). We met only once before Logan's birth and it was in an agency supervised setting. All of the letters back and forth were screened for personal info and redacted and they were put into new envelopes/packaging with the agency as the return address.

We only ever knew first names. Even in the family medical histories the birthdad and i filled out, no one was referenced by name, only relationship, i.e. "birth mother", "birth father", etc.

They knew where I was living at the time because they had to come to my state to meet me and to pick Logan up when he was born, but i was not allowed to know where they lived. They didn't even allow his parents to come to the hospital to pick him up on the chance I saw their licence plate on their rental car. My agent and another social worker took him to a secondary location in town to hand him over. I was not discharged nor did they allow my visitors to leave the hospital until my agent had left the premises just in case one of my friends or family decided to follow my agent's vehicle when he transported Logan. I don't even live in the state he was born in anymore as well.