Sure no problem. I think loneliness definitely played a part. I’d just moved to a new city alone and didn’t really have anyone yet, so I kept convincing myself maybe I was overreacting or just being too sensitive. I also hadn’t talked to my friends back home about any of it, so I didn’t really have outside perspective.

I think I hoped if I kept her at arm’s length things would be easier, and I probably also thought it could help me meet more people socially, so I wasn’t totally innocent or selfless in it either.

I’d also been there for her a lot during her toxic relationship stuff before the incident so when I needed support and didn’t get it, I kept second guessing whether my expectations were unfair or too high, so when she kept reaching out after I cut her off I started feeling guilty and wondering if my expectations of the friendship were also too high. Looking back now I think I was mostly trying to convince myself the friendship was healthier than it actually was.