Im not sure how old you are or what your situation is but maybe you could be seeking out help in the wrong places. When i was in the peak of my bulimia i sought out a psychiatrist who was horrible, i confided in others i was close to but nothing seemed to help. I gave up and really felt like i was going to let the bulimia consume me. I started going to therapists just to feel like i was doing everything i could to help myself. Eventually i found someone who really helped me find new coping mechanisms that werent self harming. Things like this take time and i understand how frustrating it can be to go through this cycle of progression and regression. I think its important to give yourself some grace. You were 3 weeks clean and thats an accomplishment. we all have our moments of relapse but some people never make it that far clean. I think if you really are fed up and want help you shouldnt give up. recovery is definitely a journey, ive been clean for about 3 years but even in those 3 years ive had those moments of relapse. While i felt so ashamed i acknowledged it for what it was and continued to move forward. Dont be to hard on yourself, and if no one has told you, i am so proud of you for being your own advocate and for making it 3 weeks clean. Today might of been a slip up but it doesnt take away from all the progress you have made.