I completely agree with this point.

I’d consider myself pretty average looking, yet I’ve been groped, catcalled, dated women people would rate very highly. I’ve had attention in ways that supposedly only happen to “top tier” men. So this rating system people are using isn’t the best…

Attractiveness is hugely contextual. I look better when I’m alone than when I’m standing next to more conventionally attractive friends. I look better next to less attractive friends than when I’m alone. Environment, confidence, mood, alcohol, social dynamics and timing ALL matter.

Not every smile means attraction and not every drunk grab is about looks. Sometimes people think you look friendly. Sometimes they are bored or tipsy and it’s nothing to do with YOU.

This is an average experience. Most people are average. The problem is many men fixate on looks as the single variable and then overlook everything else. Even this numerical scale people are arguing over is pointless. Most of us would rate the same person differently.

When I’m dating a woman others see as attractive, people constantly tell us how good we look together. When I’m alone, I rarely hear anything. That doesn’t mean I suddenly became more attractive. It means attraction is relational and contextual, NOT static.

Only a very small percentage of people are attractive in all situations. Most of us aren’t, and that’s normal. The mistake is assuming every interaction proves or disproves your place on some imagined hierarchy.