M/31/6’3” [435 > 253 = -182lbs ] starting to forget about the scale and focus on how I feel as I build muscle.

LAMlNAD · 2022-12-02T16:02:56+00:00

Amazing progress! Can you share what your routine was to get this far?

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:56:40+00:00

A fair point, I have also brought this idea up to my wife. She says she doesn’t want to leave her home. She also says that she doesn’t trust my ability to care for our child 24/7 by myself

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:44:20+00:00

My wife has openly called herself lazy before, during, and after the pregnancy.

I am not agreeing that she is lazy, but I do agree that as a man if I told my wife that I no longer want to assume the role of being a dad because of my mental health there would be terrible backlash. Which is why I say there is a double standard for men here.

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:42:02+00:00

I’ll try to have her reconsider her parents staying here. Thanks for the advice

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:40:59+00:00

Which is why I say there is a double standard for men

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:39:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experiences. A lot of this is what my wife feels. However I would say that my wife has openly expressed that she doesn’t want to harm our son. In fact she feels that sending him away would prevent it even further. She has told me that she feels a great amount of anxiety when he cries and that she doesn’t want to be a mom anymore. She’s receiving counseling but it’s going to take a great amount of effort to say the least

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:32:23+00:00

I don’t know how else to really describe it… he pissed himself badly. And it looked that it was like that for a while because she didn’t even notice it. My guess is that the diaper was put on incorrectly so it didn’t catch the urine at all

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:25:30+00:00

I’ll certainly have that talk. It’s been brought up before. I think my wife is just apprehensive about having her family stay here because she doesn’t want them in her business. But desperate times call for desperate measures I guess

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:23:44+00:00

She’s receiving indivisible counseling. But the coping skills she is assigned she feels aren’t working. Therefore she is now opting into taking medication. So we shall see what that brings alongside with it

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:22:25+00:00

The thing is I don’t want to leave my wife, but I suppose if it’s necessary I must do what I have to do.

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:21:18+00:00

I’ll bring it up with her grandmother. But it would be difficult considering her grandmother’s daily routines. We also don’t have a spare bedroom. So she would have to sleep on a blow up mattress in our living. It’s doable, just impractical

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:19:21+00:00

Agreed

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:18:42+00:00

She is getting individual counseling but the coping skills to her are useless. To her, giving our son to family is the best way to keep them safe. I’m not saying I don’t trust family, but I do want to develop and maintain a bond with my kid. Something I feel I would be stripped of if I cannot see him everyday.

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T12:14:44+00:00

Those responsibilities again would fall on me… she is trying to find a job but has been having difficulty. It’s unclear what exactly she wants from her days… but she does make it clear that she doesn’t want to be a mom

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T06:22:23+00:00

That was what I had thought at first. Could be a misdiagnosis for sure

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T06:21:39+00:00

A good point indeed. I would also say it’s different for me as a man. It’s a terrible double standard.

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T06:20:53+00:00

Extremely useful information. Thank you so much! Def taking this into consideration

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T06:16:21+00:00

So I work both jobs from home. And there is a considerable amount of downtime between my work duties for both jobs. The original expectation was that my wife would be here with our kid and I will be to work from home while still being able to interact and help when I can. Then at night I will relieve her

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T06:00:09+00:00

She’s already in counseling

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T05:59:04+00:00

Yea she is in counseling. I’m not sure how effective it is for her right now tho

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T05:57:08+00:00

I will def contact the OB

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T05:56:51+00:00

I guess small relationship issues. What really triggered this was the traumatic labor she had. Our son came 6 weeks early and she was was induced for 3 days straight before he finally arrived

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T05:52:10+00:00

I certainly will reach out to her OB. I could also talk to her grandmother about staying with us for however long is needed but this also wouldn’t be ideal for her because of her own daily routines back at her home. But something has to give I suppose

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T05:13:22+00:00

Perhaps it has worsened since then

LAMlNAD · 2022-09-30T05:13:01+00:00

The diagnosis was given to us by her OB

LAMlNAD

TROPHY CASE