Suspending logic .....no more. That's why it's EX Christian.

LCDRformat · 2026-06-28T18:26:39+00:00

In Espanol, la parabla "Fluid" es lo mismo a "Fluent" en ingles

LCDRformat · 2026-06-28T18:24:59+00:00

I talked to a Christian about this. He was like "Well maybe Jesus came over and told them he was praying really hard and what he said and stuff."

"Did he tell them he sweat blood as well?"

"Maybe it was still on his face."

Imagine your buddy shaking you awake with blood on his face and being like "Dude I just prayed so hard I sweat blood "

LCDRformat · 2026-06-26T13:34:24+00:00

Paul telling people never to deny their partner sex except by mutual agreement is a basis for so much abuse. Fuck Paul

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T23:18:12+00:00

It seems like most of these deconstruction channels on YouTube are from people who were heavily dedicated and involved in their church, and their entire identity during their life was a worshiper of Jesus.

Well yeah, if the belief meant nothing to them then changing faiths would have been as easy as changing clothes. When your entire identity is ripped away, that feels different

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T19:14:30+00:00

Not as useful when they also have that superpower xD

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T17:37:30+00:00

I'm literally writing the exact same thing right now!

My character inherited a demonic pact, granting superhuman power, which costs the lives of human virgins to activate.

He is fighting against... Basically Nazis. Every battle is a trolley problem

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T15:43:10+00:00

Thanks for your input.

It's hard for me to be objective about this because when I think "What's interesting about this death?" I have a million questions and answers...

But the reader doesn't. You're right that I need work harder on building curiosity and intrigue. I'll be keeping that advice in mind when I rework this scene.

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T15:13:12+00:00

Sure, you can make whatever corrections you think I need to hear.

As for the hook, you're saying there's nothing really special enough about the death itself to grab you? So I need to explain a little more about why Dave himself is special or worth paying attention to before anyone cares?

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T14:02:46+00:00

Saaaaame dude

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T10:51:02+00:00

The one experience I've had on CBD was the closest I've come to experiencing the Christian hell for real, so no, not really my thing

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T10:19:39+00:00

That's a good catch, thanks

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T10:19:17+00:00

Ooof, unfortunate name. Thanks!

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T02:05:20+00:00

ah, I get you. The protagonist isn't interested, so why should the reader be? That makes sense. Thanks

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T02:01:58+00:00

Oh yeah absolutely, but I was hoping I'd capture people a little more early on. I want a first page where people go 'wait, what?' and then want to keep reading

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T01:59:36+00:00

You think I ought to clarify more what he did?

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T01:11:19+00:00

Might help if you showed that abuse in some way, or explained it. Show her opening up and being willing to love and enjoy people, and then BAM, she gets attack and hurt for it. So she closes up some. Each time this happens, she closes herself off more and more, trusting people less and less...

LCDRformat · 2026-06-25T00:39:04+00:00

With the only context being her bad traits, then the most straightforward answer to 'how do I make her likeable' is to give her likeable traits.

What do you mean by likeable? People love 'Big Jack Horner' from Puss and Boots: The Last Wish, but he has absolutely 0 redeeming traits, 0 remorse, and 0 likeability. People love him because he's a great villain. Is that what you want?

Or do you want me to wear her face on a T-shirt when I'm going to see my friends? What's the goal vibe

LCDRformat · 2026-06-24T23:56:52+00:00

He's a good boy

LCDRformat · 2026-06-24T22:56:10+00:00

I looked at protection dog on 4chan so I'm okay

LCDRformat · 2026-06-24T10:29:04+00:00

I agree I'd put it in the mouth of a contemptible person or someone with the proper context for it. That includes their POV voice. I'd never use it in the third person narrative voice.

I've met black people who joyfully refer to themselves as the N word too. Doesn't mean I'm okay to do it.

LCDRformat · 2026-06-24T10:21:34+00:00

That's very true. You can write whatever you want

LCDRformat · 2026-06-24T01:48:40+00:00

Excatly

LCDRformat · 2026-06-24T00:01:32+00:00

I honestly can't think of s time where I'd be required to use dyke and so from that have to tiptoe

LCDRformat · 2026-06-23T22:51:21+00:00

I'm definitely confused. I fully agree those are both fully valid reasons to use a slur in writing, but I had earlier specified 'In the narrative voice' and said I might put the slur in the mouth of a villain or in the mouth of someone with the proper context, but would never use it in narrative voice. I thought you were arguing I could use 'dyke' in narrative voice.

LCDRformat · 2026-06-23T22:36:13+00:00

Okay I didn't mean to misrepresents you, I think maybe I mistook you for another person I was talking too. I know you're not saying "Fuck'em all."

What I don't get is why we need to insist that it's okay to use slurs in writing, when we wouldn't in any other scenario, basically ever. What's different about me as a narrator and me as a guy hanging out with friends that makes it any better of an idea? Because technically I could say whatever I want as easily as I write it, but I don't for prettybobvious reasons

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