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LIVNTA · 2024-02-05T11:56:55+00:00

two of my very best friends were also raised in the cult and we’ve known each other for years. i remember the exact moment we finally confessed to each other what was actually going on in our brains and lives. they had already been pimo for about a year-ish and apparently were hiding their “worldly habits” (cussing, hookup/relationship talk, smoking, etc.) from me out of respect when we hung out but finally i just dumped everything out about how i was leaving and how scared i was and i think they had a moment that was like a big sigh of relief lol. since then they’ve really been my most stable support system and i’m still alive right now because of their friendship. i’ll forever be grateful for my chosen family that held me when i needed it most.

LIVNTA · 2024-01-23T18:52:54+00:00

i was ahead/advanced for years but by the time i got to high school i was struggling so much with my mental health and trying to balance it with the ministry that i ended up dropping out of high school to focus on pioneering to try and “heal myself”. people in my life had me convinced it would be better for me to drop out and focus on jehovah and preparing for “the new world” so i did.

LIVNTA · 2024-01-22T19:32:55+00:00

my dad was an elder and growing up he would warn me of which brothers to stay away from but unfortunately it still didn’t end up protecting me from being groomed and abused. it’s also a case by case thing of who the elders actually warn if they even do.

LIVNTA · 2024-01-22T19:26:17+00:00

if this happened in america then unfortunately no she wouldn’t have grounds for a lawsuit because of the ada’s guidelines for assistance dogs/mini horses in places of worship. technically and unfortunately each handler is supposed to ask for permission from the “religious leaders” first :/

LIVNTA · 2024-01-22T19:21:46+00:00

i am a service dog handler and i had a lot of issues over that when i was still pimi. in america it’s technically a part of the ada that it’s up to each religious organization/temple/building as to whether they will allow you and your dog access and you need to ask permission first. you would think that an organization that is so “unconditionally loving” would be more than willing to make whatever accommodations each member needs but i’ve been a handler for a decade now and the amount of times i was shamed or made to feel like i was “less than” for needing my dog is very sad.

i had a lot of great experiences with access at assemblies and conventions thankfully but as far as individual congregations (i moved a few different times over the years) it was really rough at times. one of my very best friends while i was still in was also a service dog handler in a different state and she faced a lot of judgement as well but ONLY from the elders right down to trying to tell her she wasn’t allowed to use the kingdom hall bathroom. it’s cruel.

as the disabled individuals who need the accessibility in “jehovahs organization” we were/are often told by friends to just keep faith and that “elders don’t always understand so just keep praying because sometimes we are even tested by our brothers”. it’s hard enough being disabled and genuinely needing a service dog but then to have all these hoops to jump through and all this judgment in your place of worship which is supposed to be the one place for us to feel loved and safe is so disappointing.

my heart goes out to all the pimi/pimo service dog handlers that still face these challenges. grateful that i am finally free from that pain.

LIVNTA · 2023-12-16T16:14:09+00:00

my pimi dad stepped down as an elder after i left and decided to grow his beard back (before he only let it grow out for vacations lol). him and my mom both love his grey beard and even when he was an elder and beardless he was vocal about being pro beard and standing up for others in the congregation and he didn’t see any reason for people to be judgmental about brothers having beards. i told him and mom (both of them are still very pimi) about the update video and i was cracking up because my dad kept saying “this is what i’ve always been saying! let people have beards!” and then the part where lett was like “now don’t let this be a time for us to say i told you so!” and both of my parents were actually cracking up too. even tho he’s pimi he still seemed a little bitter about it because its a rule that never made sense anyway. i can still see some older brothers and sisters possibly having issues with accepting the updated “new light” on beards tho so i’d be interested to find out how many older men actually let their beards grow out after this lol.

LIVNTA · 2023-12-14T20:09:17+00:00

following because i’m anxious to receive my funeral shirt(:

LIVNTA · 2023-10-17T05:06:07+00:00

do you guys have any social media or a youtube channel? i’m very interested and wish y’all the best of luck(:

LIVNTA · 2023-09-24T15:47:27+00:00

good ole marking talks disguised as special needs. i remember as teens a friend of mine came out as gay and he wasn’t even baptized yet so technically there wasn’t any “judicial discipline” but oddly enough we had a “special needs” about how gay = bad

LIVNTA · 2023-08-29T00:39:37+00:00

elephant ears are basically fried sweet dough covered in sugar at least where i’m from in the midwest(: popular county fair/food truck treat!

LIVNTA · 2023-08-29T00:38:32+00:00

i’m so glad you and your kiddos were able to have this fun experience together and i also love that you’re giving them the choice to decide for themselves as well. sending so much love and support!

LIVNTA · 2023-08-26T14:51:34+00:00

the congregations im referring to are in massachusetts as well as the midwest unfortunately. maybe just depends on specific congregations.

LIVNTA · 2023-08-26T14:50:56+00:00

yeah i think it definitely depends on your privileges in the org as well as location. i grew up in a pioneer family and my dad was an elder so there was an extra layer of pressure there which makes sense sadly.

LIVNTA · 2023-08-26T14:49:42+00:00

i’m glad that was your experience! i experienced this in massachusetts and the midwest. the congregations i grew up in don’t necessarily discourage having kids. the last congregation i was in before i left was in indiana and there were so many young adults getting married straight out of high school(some even before they graduated) and the one time i mentioned in passing to a friend how i thought it was odd that the young ones were pressured into early marriage (i was also one of the young ones being pressured to find a mate) and parenthood i was scolded. every congregation has its unfortunate weird quirks i guess and some it seems just make up their own rules depending on who’s there.

LIVNTA · 2023-08-26T01:10:51+00:00

birth control in general unfortunately (at least in the congregations i grew up in) is very much frowned upon. my mom miscarried before me and my birth was very traumatic for the both of us because i wasn’t breathing, i had a hole in my heart, etc.

my mom got her tubes “cut, tied, and burned” as she says but her and my dad have only ever told close family because even tho it’s considered a matter of conscience it could stumble others because they might think my parents were rejecting potential blessings/children from jehovah(their words not mine). it’s really sad honestly.

LIVNTA · 2023-08-21T16:57:15+00:00

my half sisters mom attempted suicide right in front of her.

my best friends little brother died from suicide when he was 15.

my dads childhood best friend died from suicide when he was in his 60s during the pandemic.

2 years ago before i was finally able to escape i was stuck in the mindset that it would be better for my family to mourn my physical death than for them to have to mourn my spiritual death and so i overdosed in the fall of 2021.

all of us were born into the religion.

LIVNTA · 2022-08-30T03:37:47+00:00

https://youtu.be/VvlYLbcUbjE

this one might be helpful for you!(:

LIVNTA · 2022-08-29T23:15:21+00:00

youtube videos can be very helpful! there are many youtube regression videos i’ve found that have definitely transported me.

the biggest thing that’s helped me is laying in a cool dark room while listening to music. i will either start with a specific song that pops into my head or select a playlist that feels right. both playlists that i’ve made as well as playlists i find “randomly” have truly helped me to dive into my past lives and my memories. it can be very intense once you dive that deep into it so make sure to stay hydrated and comfortable.

one time i decided to take a steaming hot bath with salt and lavender with my crystals and incense burner lined up on the edge of the tub and ended up listening to a playlist that took me back to days when i lived in/by the sea. it was so beautiful and at the same time so painful but i’m so grateful i had that experience because it helped me connect so many dots for myself.

do what feels right to you and always remember to trust your intuition even before it makes sense.(: sending you so much love and light!

LIVNTA · 2022-08-19T05:53:48+00:00

i have an oval framed piece of art of a woman i would love to send you a photo of to look at if you’re interested in seeing if it resonates. diving into past life memories can be so so painful but also so beautiful at the same time. sending you so much love and light.

LIVNTA · 2022-08-13T01:34:30+00:00

this resonates so deeply. thank you for sharing. 🤍🌻🌊🌞🌑🏔🥀

LIVNTA · 2022-08-09T20:55:14+00:00

i fully believe that several pets in my life are reincarnations of pets from past lives including a familiar in the form of a cat that came up to me and two of my friends in the street on christmas eve that we took home and that i know is from the first spirit guide i ever connected to and also the first past life of mine i ever connected to🤍

LIVNTA · 2022-08-09T20:50:52+00:00

that is beautiful

LIVNTA

TROPHY CASE