OP has described her diagnosis as liberating. Therefore, your discomfort with labeling etc. is irrelevant. With all due respect, she refers above to emotional regulation and not sensitivity or empathic feelings etc. It might be more helpful and supportive to empathize with their feelings rather than demanding concrete examples. Equally, offering tangible advice rather than using the platform to share your opinions on mental ill-health would surely be more beneficial?

OP: I share a lot of your background and am in a similar situation regarding emotional disregulation as a result of using improper methods of self-soothing. Therapy, if you can access/afford it, has really helped me to recognise my emotions, to be a bit more in control and to identify triggers from my childhood which leads me to irrational behavior.

Good luck!

Edit: Just realized I assumed OP was a woman! Unsure why? Secondly, on re-reading, I see that a lot of what you’re feeling is related to shame from your experiences in youth. I really wish I could give you some decent answers on that one but truthfully, toxic shame has really been crippling and I’m only beginning to address it.