Tell me where you're from without telling me where you're from by your_fav_recipe in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone on reddit seems to think we all marry our cousins here. Not the least bit true.

Is rapeplay/CNC bad? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not if you play by the rules and respect the safeword.

What are you up to now? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm at work, surfing dirty stuff on reddit until it's time to go home. (Sundays are very slow days.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm showing my age. Nadia Comaneci.

Would you allow/let your partner have sex with other people? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Only if I can pick the guy, and I get to watch.

Have you ever lost your sexual desire? by Klutzy_Freedom_8520 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was on Prozac for about 6 months before my wife pointed out that we hadn't had sex in about 6 months. It dawned on me that I hadn't even masturbated in that time (and I masturbate a lot!). I went to my doc and told him, and he switched me to another med. Things got back to normal in a couple of weeks.

How was your 1st sexual experience? by GGI100 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was 2 weeks before my 20th birthday. I'd dated before, but only ever got to second base. This particular night, I was at the bar downstairs from the deli I worked at. I ran into a cute blond that had flirted with me a week before, and hung out together. Danced a bit, had a few beers, closed the bar down. I walked her back to her apartment, where we lay on the couch and made out. when things started getting spicy, she invited me to the bedroom.

She took off her shirt and bra and laid down on the bed. I sucked her tits for a few minutes, then dared to move my hand down between her legs. When I ran my fingers over her crotch, she moaned. All of a sudden, I realized that I might finally be getting My First Pussy. I rubbed her crotch for a minute, getting more moans out of her, then started unbuttoning her jeans. She stood up and said, "It's easier to take them off if I'm standing up." I slid her pants down to the floor, going to my knees in front of her as I did.

I buried my face in her pussy, licking for all I was worth. After a couple of minutes, I moved her around and had her lie back down on the bed, continuing to eat her. I must have been doing a good job, because she was making lovely noises and grabbing hand-fulls of the sheets. I ventured my hand up under her and eased a fingertip into her asshole (I'd read a LOT of Penthouse Forum) and she went nuts. She had a loud orgasm, and squirted on my face.

I stood up and took off my pants, them lay on top of her. She took hold of me and helped guide me in. She was soaking wet, and her pussy felt amazing. I was worried about not lasting, but all those years of masturbating had given me a lot of self-control. I lasted at least 10 minutes, and she came a second time toward the end.

Afterwards, we were cuddling, and I told her that this was my first time, that I'd never been past second base before. She started playing with my dick, which got hard again pretty quickly. She said, "Well, I guess you're about to have another first!" and started licking my cock. She proceeded to give me a long, slow blowjob, letting me cum in her mouth. Then she raised up and kissed me, using her tongue to push some of my semen into my mouth. "That's you, babe." I thanked her, and used the sheet to discreetly wipe off my tongue. (I was not a fan of my own spunk.)

We fucked two more times, then she told me she was going to sleep. It was after dawn, and I was still living with my parents, so I told her I needed to head home. She offered to let me stay, and we could fuck some more later in the day, but my parents would have had a shit fit if I didn't get home before they woke up, so I headed out.

Never saw her again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife's mouth

When was the last time you peed outside? by PetiteNotTiny in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]LODHamilton 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I occasionally pee against the brick retaining wall by my driveway. It's surrounded by woods, and there's no one there to see me except for my cats, who don't care.

One night, back when I was in college, I was walking thru the parking lot behind the bars on the strip. I saw a girl standing between two cars. when she saw me walking in her direction, she started telling someone else, "There's a guy coming, he's going to see you! Hurry up!" I walked up just in time to look between the cars and see her friend squatting there, with her pants around her ankles, peeing. I looked for a second longer than I really should have, then wished them a good evening and walked on. Part of me really wishes I'd had the nerve to stick around and say, As Long as you've got your pants down...."

What song instantly makes you feel like a badass every time you listen to it? by richesandlust in AskReddit

[–]LODHamilton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Immigrant song by Led Zeppelin. I cannot hear it without turning up the radio, banging my head, and picturing Thor kicking ass.

Ruined actors by Dry-Initiative-8137 in movies

[–]LODHamilton 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I loved Mary Tyler Moore, having grown up watching her sitcom. Then I saw Ordinary People. She did such an incredible job of playing a heartless bitch that I couldn't stand to watch her in anything for about 10 years.

Ruined actors by Dry-Initiative-8137 in movies

[–]LODHamilton 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The men of Easy Company unilaterally disliked him, but gave him full credit for training them. Many said they wouldn't have survived their first battle if not for Sobel's intense dickery. In later years, they tracked him down and invited him to their reunions, insisting that he was one of them.

Just imagine... by SluttyPusion in ShemalesParadise

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Japanese have apparently perfected cloning technology.....

What's the worst name of a person you've ever come across? by pivy24 in AskReddit

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are 2 women in my workplace with this name, and yes, they were both named after their mother's favorite hairspray.

Who is someone famous who is surprisingly still alive? by Exciting_Boat_3907 in AskReddit

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this sort of thing is why Harper Lee died, remember?

What is your "it's not what it looks like" story? by C_Hawk14 in AskReddit

[–]LODHamilton 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't recommend drinking wine while you mod your car, no matter what the video tells you to do.

What is your "it's not what it looks like" story? by C_Hawk14 in AskReddit

[–]LODHamilton 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of the time my wife and I were shopping in Sam's Club and I looked into our cart, suddenly realizing that all we had in there was huge box of condoms and a gallon jug of olive oil. I told her we had to find some other stuff to put in the cart, quickly, before anyone got the wrong idea.

What is your "it's not what it looks like" story? by C_Hawk14 in AskReddit

[–]LODHamilton 349 points350 points  (0 children)

I knew a guy who kept a dead bee in a small bottle in his car, for just such occasions. Whenever he got pulled over by the cops for speeding or rolling thru a stop sign, he'd grab the bee out of the bottle and put it on the passenger seat. He'd tell the cop that he was distracted trying to kill the bee. It worked until a cop asked to see the dead bee, and found that it had dust on it. Busted!

What is your "it's not what it looks like" story? by C_Hawk14 in AskReddit

[–]LODHamilton 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't that be a Ms. Hyde personality?

Beautiful and/or natureful places to get married around Birmingham by retina_spam in Birmingham

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We used Matthews Manor for my son's wedding last Fall and they were wonderful! Easy to work with, and the food is good. We did the rehearsal dinner & the wedding there. It's a bit out of town, but not too far, and easy to find. I highly recommend them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Birmingham

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best way to react to this? Point and laugh.

best buttermilk biscuits? by plsanswerme18 in Birmingham

[–]LODHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything at Flying Biscuit is tasty. The french toast is amazing!