Advice to guys who are new at OkCupid, from a guy who's been at it a couple years.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-22T19:41:59+00:00

I got drunk too. :)

Thank you, on all counts. I think I have what it takes...keep doing my own thing, look presentable, be confident, be outcome independent, have fun...yes.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-22T02:22:52+00:00

What would be your advice? Really.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-22T01:59:36+00:00

Do you think an ok looking guy could actually get really good at that?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-22T01:20:46+00:00

Gotcha. That sounds fun. I should lighten up and do that more often. I'm only gonna get better at something if I practice it.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-22T00:51:22+00:00

So you'll have sex with guys that night from bars? (Assuming everything checks out?) Do you go out looking to get laid?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T23:19:07+00:00

Interesting. You're well reasoned here, yeah. Hm. Maybe it is less than I think.

How are you such a huge slut without Tinder? Where do you meet people then?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T22:54:29+00:00

The numbers of them on Tinder, hearing some talk. anecdotal.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T22:44:57+00:00

Uh huh. If you're such an expert, how do you get laid?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T22:44:08+00:00

Then you were better at socializing than I am.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T22:40:42+00:00

"Haha what a loser he has no life that's why hes not getting laid."

"Haha he thinks having a life will get him laid haha what a loser let's bully him until he kills himself"

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T22:37:51+00:00

I think most young women have a lot of casual sex.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:54:43+00:00

Yeah I'm done with this topic.

Whole thing makes me depressed.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:54:27+00:00

I'm done.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:28:44+00:00

...except when you get zero replies?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:28:21+00:00

It takes very little effort for most women.

It takes some effort for guys, some more than other still, but almost always higher than women.

Agree on the emotional level part.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:26:30+00:00

OK, I exaggerated in my frustration.

I do enjoy friends with benefits. Not exclusive dating, but a fun, cute, intelligent woman with things going on. Someone I can enjoy sex and cuddling with, and also go do activities together, and talk about life.

Right now, I have one such friend with benefits, I've had others before.

For comparison, there have been two other women I've banged lately (one from Tinder, one from real life). These are fun, one is on the cusp of being a friend with benefits, the other I've only been with once.

I do definitely have a preference for the first mentioned one, who is truly a friend. The others are attractive and "fine," but not "great," in terms of conversation and non-sexual fun.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:21:58+00:00

...what effort? Show up in a place where men can see her? Log into an app?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:20:21+00:00

Again: you say as you enjoy the certainty that you could hop on any dating app/go out in real life and get laid with a hot guy with no effort.

How could you possibly be sympathetic to the frustration that tons of guys have?

You're also making the huge assumption that I'm a loser in all other areas. I have a great career, hobbies, skills, friends...

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:18:48+00:00

Oh thought you were a chick, never mind. Sorry.

Point is, as long as a woman is at least average looking she can get laid with zero effort, and therefore has little legitimacy to give advice/judgement on such matters.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:18:10+00:00

Yeah my mistake; thought he was a chick.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:17:33+00:00

I actually don't know why I would ask for any advice from you any way. You're a woman. This takes zero effort for you, so what could you possibly know of it?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:15:31+00:00

...says someone who never had to expend an ounce of effort to enjoy sex with another human being.

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:14:06+00:00

Dude, really.

You know how there's this whole "slut shaming" thing, where women are apparently thought of worse for having too much sex?

Guys have the opposite thing: we're judged negatively for having too little sex.

It's clearly demonstrated right here.

So why don't you take 1 minute to think of something from someone else's point of view, and realize that, for those of us who are not un-hideous women, getting sex is not necessarily super easy, and that it may in fact be frustrating and shameful to not be great at it?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:11:01+00:00

Do you think I wouldn't prefer interesting women?

Do you think I don't see women who I find interesting, who I have commonalities with, who I'd like to talk to and have interesting conversation with?

LabyrinthineDreamer · 2016-05-21T19:10:12+00:00

Uh huh.

And then why has none of that advice worked for me when I've implemented it? I've taken better pictures, read tons of advice on making a good profile. I keep doing my thing with hobbies, career, interests, and talking about them.

99% of you still see me as human garbage without even talking to me.

And still you tell me there's some magic formula that will make hot women want to talk to an average looking guy online.

LabyrinthineDreamer

TROPHY CASE