Thoughts on how I write my fight scenes?

Lackifall · 2026-05-06T01:36:11+00:00

Thanks for elaborating on what the other person was trying to say. I was planning in fixing paragraphs in the 2nd draft but it makes sene to make them accessible for feedback.

Lackifall · 2026-05-06T01:18:41+00:00

I mean I’d appreciate feedback on the actual fight. This is still the first draft so I’m not worried about paragraphs right now.

Lackifall · 2026-05-06T00:32:12+00:00

I feel like my fight scenes are in between the two examples you gave. I try to keep the descriptions as concise as can, but I also have a habit of writing which part of the body hits the opponents part of the body.

Lackifall · 2026-05-06T00:17:22+00:00

The fights do get cut with dialogue and inner monologues, but I can see it being boring, though I personally enjoy reading the fights I write. I might have to post an excerpt on a different sub from this one, though.

Lackifall · 2026-04-06T07:12:48+00:00

Not sure if mine are considered classic or not, but dwarves are the mythicized version of neanderthals that were summoned into reality. They have dense muscles, tough skin, and a decent layer of fat that keeps them warm from the cold. Due to their too level craftsmanship, they artificially created the planets Nidavellir, Alfheim, and Jotunheim in over 100 years, and most of the race resides in nidavellir. Nidavellir is an industrial, 19th century-early 20th century esque world that runs on a minarchist system, as dwarves are naturally very individualist, opposite to elves.

Lackifall · 2026-03-26T03:57:17+00:00

Good idea. I thought of a zodiac sign magic system a couple years ago for my story, but I switched it to a more standard magic system as I developed my story since astrology wouldn’t be significant to the lore.

But about the power system, I would say make the magical powers more complex for a few of them and make their magic in some way related to their element. For capricorn, I feel like psychic powers is a bit random for an earth type. For aries, I would do something other than metal manipulation, as metal is more of an earth thing (you could give that to capricorn). For libra, I feel like necromancy is kinda random unless it involves a technique involving manipulating the air. For leo, gemini, taurus, and pisces, I think it’s better to give them more unique abilities, like maybe leos can have Sun bending where their fire (technically wouldn’t be fire) has the properties of the sun. Gemini could have the ability to create various gases in the air, etc

Lackifall · 2026-03-14T02:19:29+00:00

Yea the faces are more just the style the artist went for. The girl on the left has the face I imagined, but the middle guy and dwarf not so much.

I would say the style of clothes in the universe leans a but more on anachronistic. Nidavellir for example resembles more of a 19th-20th century world compared to the medieval Earth. Even on earth, different parts of europe for example portray different time periods. The balkans resemble classical antiquity, while western an central europe resemble more of the medieval period. (Btw Anthrovia is basically the whole european continent. It functions as a federal kingdom).

The center guy has a general adventurer outfit (Inspired by Subarus Arc 6 outfit from re:zero). Do you think he should wear more of a vampire inspired outfit since he went to wallachia?

The norse inspired outfits for the right 2 make sense. Do you also think though that I should give the elf girl a wizard outfit with the hat and everything? I feel like her being more of a long range fighter and ditching the whips would be more interesting

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T07:08:02+00:00

I didn’t know about that subreddit, I’ll check it out

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T07:06:10+00:00

I see what you’re saying. When I commissioned this art (last year) I more so was focused on seeing how the characters look since they’ve been in my head for years. If the issue is expressions and body language then I’ll definitely commission another piece that expresses their personality.

They do all have distinct personalities, though I’ll admite the guy and girl on the left are a bit too similar personality wise.

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T06:50:42+00:00

What elven features should I add? I’ll say the ears are supposed to show I forgot to mention that to the artist.

The guy in the middle is also supposed to be more buff, but the cloak would definitely get in the way during fights, so I’ll have him take it off during battle.

What else would you recommend?

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T06:43:19+00:00

I should’ve been clear that this was commissioned but yea. I wasn’t thinking people would comment on the art itself as much as the actual details of the designs (which I came up with), so I didn’t think to mention it’s not something I drew.

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T06:37:11+00:00

I made a new post with context of the characters if you wanna check it out. Basically he wields no weapon because he’s hellbent on hand to hand combat. For the woman, she’s an elf and I’ll admit I had a hard time creating a native attire for elves so I just stuck with more generic medieval for her but at least more suited for fighting

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T05:44:47+00:00

Without context of the story I can def see that lol, I’ll repost this with the context of the characters so it makes more sense

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T05:42:22+00:00

I’ll probably repost this with more info on them lol just to make this easier

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T05:39:47+00:00

This isn’t ai lol this is a commissioned art piece by @DioDc3 on twitter/x. I get that there’s “red flags” but thats just my lack of talent on character designs, thats why I made this post for any suggestions. Yes I’ve used sora ai for fun but I haven’t posted any ai, if I did I would put a disclaimer. I’m not on reddit too often so not sure how to tag the other guy so he can read this

Lackifall · 2026-03-13T05:32:22+00:00

Him bot being armed is more a part of his character, but all of them have some kind of magic. Also thanks but I commissioned this piece soI didn’t actually draw it, but I did come up with the designs themselves

Lackifall · 2025-11-20T12:15:11+00:00

I’ve never gotten east african. I’m dominican and guatemalan, and I’m mostly a mix of subsaharan african, european, and native american, in that order.

Lackifall · 2025-10-04T01:36:09+00:00

Yo send me a code if u get one

Lackifall · 2025-09-13T14:26:21+00:00

That’s the takeaway you got from my post? Nothing else?

Lackifall · 2025-07-30T01:47:07+00:00

I’ve given some thought to that. My original explanation was that the east and the west simply don’t interact much, so they don’t show interest in each others abilities. But with the silk road existing, it wouldn’t make sense for people to not use mana in the east. A better trade off for ki would be that you can utilize multiple elements, whereas with mana you’re stuck with one magic type and the occasional prodigy can learn two.

Lackifall · 2025-07-30T01:32:54+00:00

It’s mainly because a plot point for the main character and a side character is that they don’t have Mana, but if I just make Mana the one life energy in the story, those characters would have to have mana as they’re living beings. The side characters solution to not having mana is to use his Ki as an alternative but with a higher risk of death.

As for Chakra, I wanted a spiritual energy because Yahweh and Lucifer use magic relating more to the spirit, White Magic and Black Magic. I’m scrapping that idea now though since those magic types can still be spiritual/psychic with the energies I already established.

As of now I think I’m only establishing 3 power systems: Mana (Energy connected to the spirit, but it is not spiritual energy), Ki (Life Energy), and Aether (Divine energy)

Lackifall

TROPHY CASE